Showing posts sorted by relevance for query self care. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query self care. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query self care. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query self care. Sort by date Show all posts

Peeping Tom? Still Suffering from a Load of Junior High Lack of Self Esteem

Confessions of Self Esteem Issues in Junior High

Remember how you hated junior-high - we all suffered with a lack of self-esteem. Here is my story. Enjoy!

spongebob band, self esteem
Sponge Bob in Marching Band.


Hey you, I see you there. Are you a Peeping Tom? Junior High is the worst. Are you still suffering from a lack of self-esteem? We all struggle with life in those awkward teen years. Here's my take.

Shh...  Don't tell anyone. I like to window peep, strike that, make it love.  I love to window peep especially during the holidays.  Driving thru the city with the clever vise of looking at Christmas lights, I secretly spy on families thru their picture windows. It's neat to see what they are doing -to notice their dining room decor or their living room doings.  I'd never hop out of the car, knock on the door, and scream, "Hey, I'm watching you!"


No, I'd never do that.

Why do we like to know when someone reads our blog?  Why do we ask them to advertise our button to share the love?  Two years ago, when I launched my blog I worried about who might see or read it.  I got a few blog hoppers who asked me to visit their blogs. I discreetly perused other blogs for ideas and ways to improve mine.  I never left a comment.  I didn't want anyone to know I had stumbled upon their most personal thoughts.  Mostly, I wondered why I would want other bloggers to read my blog.

I wanted readers, fans, followers, anything but bloggers...  Now I get it.

Bloggers are our equals.  Bloggers will become friends.  Friends will become followers and fans.

So, why do I still hide much of the time?  Most bloggers know I've visited because they keep track. I look at many blogs everyday following anyone who asks me to, and I visit other blogs, but I only read a few.  One of my favorites is "I'm a Lazy Mom".  Why?  Because, I am a lazy Mom.  It validates my life.  It makes me feel okay with my lazy, little secrets.  In a recent post she discusses cleaning the stove off with a vacuum.  Been there, done that!  I peek in her window a couple of times a week -she didn't ask me too- but I'm sure she doesn't mind.

Why, then, do I feel uncomfortable about peeking into a blog that is written by someone I know in real life?  I've read several blogs written by friends and acquaintances from high-school, but I rarely go back for more.

 A girl, okay a woman, I went to school with, blogs regularly.  Apparently, she's been doing it for awhile.  I pop in and covet her header, her followers, her style. I knew her in high-school. We weren't exactly friends, but we weren't enemies either. At least, I don't think so.

I don't really know much about her. Whenever I talked to her, I liked her, but we rarely talked. I heard an occasional hearsay comment about this or that from her brother or my boyfriend who were best friends.  I made assumptions about her through hearsay as I expect she did about me.

Cheerleader clipart, self esteem,  junior high

She was a cheerleader and I was band-geek.  A cool, band-geek I might add.  I played the bass guitar in Jazz Band.  The point is we had different interest and different classes. The last time I remember having her in class was in eighth grade, I think.  Oddly, I sometimes confuse her with another girl.  I think this is because they were both nice to me at times, and I didn't know what to do with it.

You see, I felt geeky most of the time. Yep, I know we all did; too bad  we didn't know that then. Both girls were pretty and popular.  Apparently, I was too, but I didn't understand that back then. I was an awkward skinny, terrible-toothed, little girl until the fourth grade. I got cuter for a second, and next thing I knew I was a chubby puberty-bound girl with a fat face.

The summer before seventh grade apparently something changed.

Bert and Ernie Picture
Bert and Ernie.

Seventh Grade.  Yuck.  All of the elementary schools meet up.  New faces. New friends.  New people to tease me.  They called me "Jimmy Carter" and "Big Lips".  I smiled a lot and had, get this... big lips.  They told me I had bushy eyebrows like Brooke Shields and a uni-brow like Bert.  I guess today that would be considered bullying?

I was clumsy.  I could  can trip over nothing.

I plucked my eyebrows to nothing.  Oh, how I wish I had Brooke Shield's eyebrows to sculpt today.  Please explain to me how having "Brooke Shield's" eyebrows transpired to lowered self-esteem?

Advice for Teens who struggle with self-esteem: My story

The first thing my husband said to me when he saw me - you and your lips remind me of Angelina Jolie. (Wonder if he still thinks that two kids later?)  Brooke Shields?  Angelina Jolie?  Smiling all the time?  Aren't kids nuts?  Today, those things make me blush.  What extraordinary, backhanded  compliments for a middle-aged, overweight, has-been.

So, I confuse these two pretty girls because they both complimented me during Junior-High.  One spoke to me for the first time after gym in the locker room.

"Are you trying out for cheerleader?"
I blushed.
I laughed.
I said, "No!", as if it were the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.

Why would she ask that?  Was she teasing  me?  Of course not.  At that moment, I lost a potential new friend.  She later became one of my best-friends, best-friends.  I never really talked to her again.  How rude and nasty she must have thought I was... I bet she never knew I thought she was beautiful and untouchable, someone who couldn't possibly want me as a friend.

Tortoise Shell Glasses
Tortoise Shell Glasses.

Back to the blogger.  I think she once told me she liked my clothes.  Another time, my hair. Preposterous! I think both girls were in that eighth grade English class.  I didn't care for the snobby, preppy teacher and the feeling was apparently mutual.  One day, she asked if anyone knew what kind of glasses she was wearing. The other girls, fashionably aware, raised their hands.




My best sweater came from Sears and had my initials neatly embroidered on the front.  The preppy teacher called on me!  I figured she picked on me to humiliate me.  I looked around and thought, "Of course, they know the answer!"  Why didn't she call on them?  I had no idea so I blurted, "Bifocals"?  I don't know.



Wow.  No... apparently not bifocals.  If the teacher didn't like me before...  Yikes.

Everyone laughed, but I didn't get the joke.  I was red from ear to ear.
'You're so stupid,' I thought to myself.

Now, I get it.  Oops!

The irritated, English teacher called on one of the prettier, popular girls.  The girls whose hair and clothes I coveted, their smiles, and bubbly personalities, and their confidence.

"Tortoise Shell?"

"TORTOISE SHELL!  What the heck?"

The teacher looked back at me.

"I've never heard of that!"

"Of course you have," she grunted. (She thought I was a royal b who purposely said bifocals to make a mockery of the situation. I didn't even know what bifocals were. To me, they were just a type of eyeglasses.)

No, I really hadn't. I may have looked like a fashionista in my garage sale, K-mart, Hill's, and Sears clothing, but I'd never even been to a mall until eighth grade.

My mother always ironed my clothes. I obsessed that everything matched perfectly all the way down to my socks.  I appeared to be a preppy.  Other kids would call me a 'Prep' with a nasty glint in their eye.  I didn't really know what a prep was, but I sure knew I didn't want to be one.  Unfortunately, even though I couldn't afford Ralph Lauren, Gloria Vanderbilt, or Nike's in eighteen colors I was a prep.

In retrospect, the teacher probably called on me because she assumed such a stylish, popular, pretty, young girl would know the answer.  Again, I cast a stone against them (all three of them) without warrant or intention.

I dated boys because they asked me too; rarely because I wanted to. I didn't want to hurt their feelings.  It never lasted long.  They moved on when they realized nothing was about to happen.  So when a cute boy asked me to the carnival I decided to meet him there.

We waited in line to ride the octopus and he combed his hair.  He combed his hair in glare of the adjacent car.  He wore a comb in his pocket.  That was that.  End of story.  Back then, I heard this girl, now turned blogger, liked him and was upset with me.  If you know anything about me, you know I am nothing if not naive.  Again, I cast a stone.

My boyfriend was a hussy.  He told stories on himself all the time.  He told stories about blogger-girl.  She unknowingly cast a stone against me or maybe not.  Maybe it was intentional pay back.  Maybe it never happened.  I don't know.  I don't care.  It never mattered.

I always liked blogger-girl's point of view; apparently, I still do.

I follow her, but I try to hide my visit when I see myself show up on the Blog-Frog button.  I feel my face burning like I am doing something wrong.  What if she thinks I am spying on her?

The truth is, I like her blog.  I like her style.  If I didn't know her personally, I'd be telling her how awesome I think her blog is and how much I enjoy her postings.

Oh I don't know... she probably thinks she is lazy and imperfect but there are different levels of imperfection to consider here.  It seems she likes nice things.  It looks like she takes care of herself.

I am a lazy, mom blob.  I don't know if we'd ever be friends in the real world, but I really like her blog; it makes me smile. I read it whenever I get the chance. Is it because I enjoy peeping into her life- seeing how her life turned out? Or is it because her writing entertains me and her anecdotes often bring a tear to my eye or have me laughing out loud?  You decide.  It's a great blog, so I'll share a link, http://www.sellabitmum.com I'm tired of deleting my visits.




Don't worry, I sent her a head's up so she can read this too. This is my Olive Branch for the week.  'Tis the season go out and extend your own Olive Branch today.

This post is dedicated to my teenage daughter who will one day understand what it means to feel beautiful.


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ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to, amazon.com, endless.com, myhabit.com, smallparts.com, or amazonwireless.com. We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)


Tips for Busy Families on the Go

Is your busy family always on the go? You need tips to make life easier!

We keep busy with lots of academic activities, but we also love to hike, swim, and play outdoors. As homeschoolers, we are involved in a special playgroup that enjoys playtime in local parks, roller skating, jump centers, and educational field trips. It seems, like many other busy families, we are always on the go and looking for tips to make life easier and less hectic.


Visiting an Aquarium
Enjoying learning about different species of fish.


Also, as busy homeschoolers, we search for special activities for physical education and fitness that can be a valuable educational experience. We are always coming up with new ways to learn while having fun. We especially love outdoor activities, but that can lead to cuts, scrapes, and allergies.


Tips for Busy Families on the Go
Dolphin and Manatee hunting in a kayak with Grandpa on the Manatee River.

When you head out for a hike or to go exploring the Manatee River in a kayak, it is important to always have a first aid kit, extra clothes, water bottles, bug spray, and we take allergy meds and Epipens too! Active families need to function like a team and be ready for just about anything. Now, we can take Puracyn® Plus along too. Puracyn® Plus is the first step in first aid. It helps clean wounds and is less irritating than peroxide or alcohol and more effective than soap and water. I find it amazing that it is safe for the eyes, ears, and mouth too! 

Puracyn® Plus is a convenient alternative to the otherwise messy job of cleansing the wound area, can be applied on the spot and on-the-go, and it won’t cause cell damage the way hydrogen peroxide can. It is the perfect addition to your first aid kits saving you the need for several different products.

We needed our Puracyn® Plus during Spring Break. Mayhem was excited about kayaking with Grandpa on the Manatee River. When she ran to the kayak, her clothes got stuck and toppled over a giant, concrete pelican! Then, when she hopped into the kayak, the tear from the pelican incident caught onto something in the kayak and scraped her leg. The pants are beyond repair, but her leg recovered nicely with a little help from Puracyn® Plus.


Getting some swimming in after a long road trip.

Now through March 27th, enter the Play to Win with #TeamPuracynPlus Giveaway on the Puracyn® Plus Facebook page for the chance to be one of three randomly selected winners to receive a Puracyn® Plus Sports Emergency Kit, including a $50 gift card to a sporting goods store of your choice and Puracyn® Plus product. Join us on Pinterest too.


#TeamPuracynPlus Giveaway
Enter to win a Puracyn® Plus Sports Emergency Kit.

New Puracyn® Plus Duo-Care™ Wound and Skin Cleanser is the next generation first step in first aid for cleansing, debriding and hydrating wounds, and is formulated with a pH balanced, hypochlorous solution, designed to improve the most essential part of the wound treatment process – preparation of the wound bed. If you have diabetes, Puracyn® Plus Foot Wash and Skin Cleanser is essential in helping to make foot care part of your daily self-care routine. To learn more about the brand visit www.puracynplus.com
This is a product-provided, sponsored conversation that contains affiliate links. All opinions, text, and experiences are my own.”
To learn more about the Puracyn® Plus, LIKE the brand on Facebook and follow the brand on Pinterest. This is a product-sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Puracyn® Plus Duo-Care™ Wound and Skin Cleanser. The opinions and text are all mine.


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ECE Continuing Education Online


Where do you go to get Early Childhood Education Training Online?


As a childcare provider, early education teacher, and summer camp director, I know how important continuing education and professional development is to childcare programs. There’s always something new to learn, new milestones to meet, and new knowledge to obtain. As an owner/operator of a school-age summer camp program, I want my staff to have a wide range of childhood development knowledge. Obtaining certification in early childhood education can improve your earning potential in the childcare profession.

This post contains Amazon Affiliate links.



Where do you go to get Early Childhood Education Training Online?




Personally, I’ve taken many courses online and offline receiving certificates and credits toward my ECE (Early Childhood Education Certification.) ChildCare Education Institute offers certificate programs and coursework that meets the requirement for national credentials including the CDA. CCEI also has online certification programs for Director and Early Childhood Credentials. CCEI, a Council for Professional Recognition CDA Gold Standard™ comprehensive training provider, is nationally accredited by the Distance Education Accrediting Commission (DEAC) and is accredited as an Authorized Provider by the International Association for Continuing Education and Training (IACET).

I recently was given the opportunity to enroll in some of their courses in exchange for a review. All opinions are my own.

Many early childhood and school age programs require a certain number of continuing education courses each year. The courses are also a great resume builder for anyone who wants to become a professional child care provider.

As a homeschool mom, education blogger, and summer camp provider,  I want to keep up on the latest information in child care. So, when CCEI asked me to do a review, I jumped at the chance to look through the course offerings and take and earn a certificate.  

I’ve completed my certificate for Attention Deficit Disorders by taking this course: Attention Deficit Disorders: Course ID: SPN102 Course Level: Beginner Course Hours: 1

I’ve had some prior course work and even written about ADD and ADHD on my blog and on other education websites. However, this course was very informative, I even discovered some new methods for dealing with behavior problems.

The course took about an hour to complete and came with a printable study guide handout. At the end of the course, I took an exam and earned a course certificate which will fulfill continuing education needs.

It was easy to navigate through the CCEI course. As I was taking the class, I was able to scroll forward or backward as needed. At the end of the class, you’re given several questions for review before allowed taking the final exam. The review is designed to help you prep for the test.


With my prior experience, I knew many of the answers already, but there were a couple that I missed. When you miss a review question, the program takes you back to the place in the lesson where the information can be reviewed again before the test.



ECE Continuing Education ADHD



If you score poorly on the exam, you are allowed to take it again. So, there’s no need to be nervous. Earning your certificate online is easy and won’t take up too much of your time. With most courses taking about an hour, you can easily fit them into your busy schedule.

As a participant in the CDA Gold Standard℠ pilot, ChildCare Education Institute successfully demonstrated that its early childhood education training is based on the Council’s three industry-leading principles:
  • Alignment with the CDA formal education coursework found in the CDA’s Eight Subject Areas.
  • Sound business policies and practices.
  • Quality student services that meet their educational and professional needs.



CCEI currently offers a general Child Care Orientation Certificate, a Diversity and Multiculturalism Certificate, and a CCDBG Health & Safety Training for ECE Professionals in Nevada Certificate. CCEI’s Professional Development program acceptance varies with each state, so be sure that you know your organization and state’s requirements before signing up.  Click here for more information.
ECE online course offerings. Classes in Early Childhood Education

As an added bonus to CCEI’s over 150+ online PD courses in English & Spanish, if you purchase a center-based annual subscription for your staff, you’ll have access to over 10,000 unique activities like the sampling above to implement in the classroom.  An extra perk of learning with CCEI over others!

CCEI offers a wide array of courses for ECE staff and caregivers. I encourage anyone working with children to get their continuing education with CCEI. CCEI is convenient and easy to navigate, there are a wide array of classes, they offer classroom curriculum, and most classes take about an hour. If you’re a daycare operator, you’ll definitely want to take a look at the courses to implement continuing education for your staff.

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Popular Preschool Activities from Kids Creative Chaos.

Cognitive Craft Benefits for Children: Twig Log Cabin Ornament

Twig Ornament Highlights Benefits of Crafting with Children

Crafts aid in child development; it is proven to be true! There are cognitive benefits to crafting with your kids. So, get out your crayons, glue, pom poms, felt, and glitter, and get crafting. Scroll down for details on our fun craft activity for school-age childrenEnjoy!


How to make a twig log cabin ornament decoration with children.
Make a twig log cabin ornament.

If you are a busy working mama don't worry- enroll your child in a local class, take them to a library program, or sign them up at a childcare program like ChildTime.

Many child care programs, often considered as only day care for preschoolers, offer before and after school care, homework help, and summer camp in addition to their preschool classes and care.

At ChildTime, fun and educational mornings and afternoons await your child. The My Best Self! program for school-age students focuses on goal-setting and reflection, and is complemented by homework support, team-building opportunities, and physical activity. The programs give children structure with a mix of independent and organized activities (including crafts), education, and recreational opportunities.

So, what are the cognitive benefits of Crafts?

Crafting can improve coordination between the right and left side of the brain, as well as, hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

In small children, using crayons, scissors, and glue helps develop muscles in fingers and hands. Think small motor skills.

Adults can build bonds while interacting with children during craft time. The social interaction promotes language skills through face to face engagement. Older children need these bonds to feel a sense of security during all the changes they face in puberty. Learn more about emotional bonding.

As children age and want to spend more time with screens and less and less time creating with their hands, before and after school programs are a great way to encourage human interaction and continue to build skill for following directions and completing projects.

Want to bond and practice the cognitive benefits of crafts at home? You might like this fun craft activity!


How to make a twig star holiday ornament decoration.
Make a twig star and wrap it with your favorite color yarn for a fun, holiday ornament.

How to Make Twig Ornaments

You've probably seen the stars made out of Twigs on Pinterest. We thought we'd try that with the kids. This is not as easy as it looks! I would not try it with preschoolers. After playing around with the twigs, some wire, and wood glue, we came up with little log cabin twig ornaments!


How to Make Twig Ornaments star log cabin

Make fun twig ornaments after a nature hike with children.


This a great activity to bond with your kids of all ages. Preschoolers will especially enjoy the prep required to make them. We headed out for a nature hike. Find a small twig and challenge your children to find straight twigs the same diameter. Collect several in varying lengths. 

After your hike, lay out the twigs in the shape of a house.

Older kids can attach the twigs at each overlapping corner with some small wire, floral tape, or kite string.

Be sure to attach a loop at the top to hang as an ornament.

Next, lay more small twigs across the house so they look like the logs of a log cabin. Attach with wood glue or strong school glue.

Let dry for 10-15 minutes.

To Make a Twig Star:

If you are a skilled twig designer, you can make a star and wire it together at the overlapping corners as seen above. Once complete, cut yarn, and have children wrap the star in their favorite colors. We cut several 6" pieces of yarn and then glued then ends down so that it doesn't unravel.

Imagine all the crafts your kids can make at ChildTime!




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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Learning Care Group. The opinions and text are all mine.

Limit Smartphone Use App: Are You Addicted?


Put Down Your Phone! It Can Save Your Child’s Self- Esteem



Do your kids have mobile phones? We recently purchased a smartphone to use as a house phone. Though, my kids have tablets and free access to computers, I worry about the cell phone, the texting, the access to the world in the palm of your hand. Smartphones have become addictive. I wondered, is their an app for that? Of course, there's an app for everything! Should we limit smartphone use? In this post, Hilary Smith, shares some insight on the overuse of technology combined with our kids, but it might not be the child who has the problem. That's right, Mom (or Dad), you might need an app to limit smartphone use. Enjoy!


Make a Snowman Craft and Work Fine Motor Skills into your Lesson Plan

A Snowman that works Fine Motor Skills is the Perfect Winter Craft Activity for Preschoolers

This post is a special guest post written by Leanne from Sugar Aunts. This project focuses on fine motor skills for children ages 2-7 yrs. It is the perfect winter craft activity for preschoolers.

We love creative crafts that focus on Fine Motor Play.  A craft that pulls in developmental skills is much more than a fun activity.  While the kids are cutting, gluing, and creating, they are also working on so many skills essential to self-care, handwriting, and scissor skills!   
This Multi-Textural Fine Motor Snowman craft was a ton of fun to create and worked on many fine motor skills. The multiple textures added a sensorial bonus...and a great texture to our snowman!

Winter Craft Activity for Preschoolers: Make a Snowman Craft and Work Fine Motor Skills into your Lesson Plan

This Fine Motor Snowman craft was a big hit with my daughters.  We started with a snowman cut from white contact paper.  This was glued to a sheet of blue construction paper and then taped to the wall.  I wanted the task to be done on a vertical surface to further challenge the fine motor dexterity. Working on an inclined surface such as an easel or wall encourages a tripod grasp when manipulating small pieces. An extended wrist (wrist bent back in the direction of the back of the hand) and a tripod grasp is necessary for an appropriate grasp on writing utensils. 


Big Sister (age 6) is in kindergarten and developing her scissor skills.  I pulled out a variety of textured materials.  We had strips of thin Styrofoam, foam packaging sheets, and tissue paper.  Strips of the materials had marked lines for her to snip.  Cutting small snips along a line is a great way to work on scissor skills and line awareness with a new scissor user. 





Snipping these different textures with scissors really encourages line awareness.  A thick bulky material like the Styrofoam requires was easier to cut.  Cutting the foam was very easy for Big Sister. (She asked for more foam to snip once we were finished!) 


 

Tissue paper is a very thin and flimsy material and requires great scissor control.  This was a fun material to try and the short cuts were just right for Big Sister!


Once all of our materials were snipped into little squares, we sorted them by texture. This was a fun way to explore the differences.



Next, we stuck the different materials onto the contact paper snowman


This part of the craft was fun for Baby Girl (age 2).  She loved sticking the different materials onto the contact paper and worked for a LONG time to fill up the whole snowman. 


Our multi-textural snowman was a fun way to practice scissor skills and work on some fine motor areas while creating a winter craft for kids!

 
The Sugar Aunts are three sisters who blog about all things creative in motherhood. They love playful learning, creative kid's crafts, sensory and fine motor activities, kid's party themes, DIY, and so much more. Between the three Aunts, there are 6 cousins (with more on the way!) who are around each other so often, they are more like siblings than cousins! You can see the action at www.sugaraunts.com.

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Free Online Relationship Counseling

Are you Struggling to get Along with your Family?


For the next series of posts, we're going to stray a little bit from our regular article topics. We often talk about parenting and share advice for parenting teens, but we've rarely talked about the relationship between two parents. Whether you're married, living together, or co-parenting after a separation, that relationship is a key factor in your parenting success. We want to model healthy, mature relationships for our children, but that is often easier said than done, especially, when you throw in all the expenses of raising a family. However, there are online sources that can help with most of life's struggles. If you're looking for free online relationship counseling, we've got your back.



Is it time to take a look in the mirror? Free online relationship counseling.


This post contains Amazon affiliate links.


Is it time to take a look in the mirror?


As you know, we have a series of mommy bloggers who contribute posts to this website, they also help with our Digital Marketing business. As we get new clients,  we sometimes discover that different clients' needs are better suited to one staffer as opposed to another. Sometimes, it's due to work ethic, ability to communicate on a particular topic, or even a staffer's personal passion (or lack thereof)  for a subject. As the editor-in -chief of this website I also have faced conflict of interests, time constraints, or personality clashes with certain clients' content topics. One that particularly comes to mind, is what, at the time, I saw as a lack of interest in the subject matter. 


After working with the client for several weeks, I came to realize it wasn’t a lack of interest that I was facing, but a lack of personal courage. While speaking to the client each week, I enjoyed the conversation and even felt a kindred spirit with her. On the flip side, I dreaded our weekly consultations. I'd find a dozen reasons to put off those weekly calls. I was consulting her on the best way to promote her articles, so calls were a necessary part of the work week. I felt miserable after our calls. I was trying to avoid that feeling. The client was a divorce consultant... 


Every week, she had shiny, new articles to share and we’d discuss the best way to market them. As I read the articles to prep the marketing strategy and create striking image text, I’d become depressed. These articles were hitting home. I soon realized, I was her target demographic. I didn't like the way it made me feel. It was a slap in the face, a weekly reminder that I needed to make a change in my own life.


I also didn’t like that I was broke. I could easily benefit from utilizing her services, but I couldn’t afford it - or wouldn’t. The fee for the program was $1000.  Most of us don’t have the budget for an unexpected $1000 monthly expense. If we do, our budget considers it an emergency fund  for broken water pipes, a new furnace, or other homeowner’s expenses. The kind of things that  you and your partner would share the blow of the expense. “Sorry, Honey,  I used our emergency money for a divorce consultant.” Yeah, that’s not going to go over well for anybody, right? Keeping those kinds of secrets is exactly why you need a relationship consultant. So, most of us suffer in silence, hoping it will all work itself out. It won’t.


Fast forward two and half years later, here I am. Those articles were the catalyst I needed to start the process of removing myself from a very broken relationship. This meant shaking up the lives of many people, making difficult decisions, and hoping that I was doing the right thing. In the end, I made the right choice. Things aren’t easy, life comes at you way too fast, but emotionally, I’m in a much better place. If only I’d taken advantage of other free online marriage counseling or the many online mental health services sooner, I could’ve avoided some issues and been more prepared to help my children deal with the upheaval it placed on their lives. 


We’re still working out the bugs, but all in all, it was the best decision for everyone involved. Sometimes, you just have to step back and evaluate your situation. Change is scary. If three years ago, someone would've told me that I’d own my own home, be responsible for the note on two cars, two houses, and all the other expenses that take their toll on a head of household, be a single parent with two teenagers in public school, and working outside the home, I would’ve told you that you that I couldn’t do it. Me, the advocate for “You can do it!” would’ve said, I’m not strong enough or capable enough to pull off the life of a professional single mother. I would've rather rolled up in a ball and never got out of bed. 


At the time, I didn’t realize that I was depressed. I had a series of health setbacks. I’d become comfortable in my unhappiness. It was a mess, but at least I knew how everyday was going to play out. Ugh. They all played out the same way. There was no hope for the future, only hope to make it through to the next day- to survive another day. My kids had been feeling the same way. Are we all Disney happy now? No, far from it but, even in these trying times, we all have hope for the future. Stay tuned for more on this story.



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