Lora's Law #12: People Don't Mean What They Say Quote

Just Because You Say What You Mean...

As I age, life gets easier. I've begun to understand that no two people are alike. I'd always assumed that when people say something mean or cruel about you, they believe it. Why would they say it otherwise? It has taken me decades to realize that other people don't mean what they say.

I do. If it comes out of my mouth, I believe it to be true. That's why you'll never hear me say, You're ugly! Never. I'd have to believe it to say it. If I believed it, I couldn't say it. You can QUOTE me. I mean, the truth hurts, right? Lots of people say terrible things that they don't mean. They'll say anything to get out of a situation, to hurt your feelings, or to get you to be quiet. Never mind it how it makes you feel, they'll apologize later. Lora's Law #12 is all about how people don't say what they mean. Enjoy!

Lora's Law #12: People Don't Mean What They Say Quote
Lora's Law #12: People Don't Mean What They Say Quote, don't take it to heart.

Lora's Law #12: "Don't take it to heart! Just because you don't say it unless you mean it, doesn't mean everyone else does. People lash out. They don't mean it!"

It has been a difficult journey. Especially to forgive those who have said cruel things to me. It doesn't matter to me if they say they were only teasing. If you say something about someone that is true... You're fat, or that they perceive to be true, you're stupid, the damage is done. Even an apology won't fix it.

I've found myself in awkward situations. I felt the need to tell someone something that they didn't want to hear, but that they needed to hear. They don't care if it comes from a good place or that you are trying to help them. They only hear you pointing out something that is wrong or imperfect. Likely, something they are already ashamed of in the first place. They rarely take a deep breath and think about it the why. They rarely see the good in what you are saying- at least in the moment. 


They often retaliate with something completely unrelated, irrelevant, and cruel. Oh yeah? Well, you're a big, fat doody head! 

It is your turn to breathe; let it go. I promise, you're not a big, fat, doody head. Just ignore it! Don't make the terrible mistake of calling them a big dumb stupid head!

Later, they feel like a jerk. They probably are a jerk or they wouldn't do that in the first place, but don't call them a jerk. Nope, not even if you are calling it like you see it. Stick to your guns; don't say it unless you mean it. And, never, ever resort to name calling- even if it is true. Especially, if it is true. Be nice. Be better. Be Elsa. (Let it go.)


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Lora is a homeschooling mom, writer, creator of Kids Creative Chaos, and Director of the Play Connection.