Teen Heartbreak and Advice for Girls: Beware of Holidays
|Teen Holiday Heartbreak.|
Boys suck. You know they do- even if you have one of your own. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Try telling that to a heartbroken teenage-girl after her first boyfriend breaks up with her thru a text message three days before Christmas.
She thinks I have ESP. Perhaps I do, whatever you call it I have an Extraordinary Mother's Instinct. I saw it coming. In fact, I've been there more than once. Although, I must confess, I am happy with the end result; I cannot bare the pain I see in her eyes.
At the beginning of the semester her Honor's English teacher called to say she is failing English (the fifth English Teacher in a row). We discussed options and made the tough decision that extra-curricular Jazz Band would have to go. Said boy = Jazz Band.
One tiny paragraph stood in her way between passing class and extra-curricular activity bliss. Three weeks ago her Honor's English teacher called to say she is still failing English. One tiny paragraph stands in her way blocking her from passing with a D-! The same paper. Teacher loves her, "I cannot comprehend this."
"Me too", I lie.
I struggled with what to do -with what to take away. The teacher says she is an excellent student. Teacher has no explanation for the outcome. She's tried everything. So have we. Band is all consuming...
Well, at least I thought it was band, but of course it was said boy. Did I mention that boy's suck?
So, we grounded her until second semester and exiled her from band for the rest of the year. You cannot go anywhere but 'Sucky Boy' can come to our house. He can go to Thanksgiving, to the Family Office Party, he can come hang and watch movies, go to lunch, go sledding- you get the drill.
He couldn't find the time. He didn't want to come over to our house. He kept asking her to do things that he knew she couldn't do- frustrating her beyond words. Elevating her anger with her evil parents. "Why does he keep asking me to do stuff he knows I can't do?" I knew the answer but I kept my mouth shut.
I wanted to say, "Because he knows you can't and this way he can keep stringing you along. He gets to keep you on a rope and still have his fun." Instead, I said, "What are we going to buy 'Sucky Boy' for Christmas?" Wait remove the quotes I didn't say that exactly. I politely used his name and smiled sweetly waiting for ideas to throw my hard-earned money away- on a boy who can't even use the telephone to speak words.
That's right- there aren't any late night 'I love yous' or 'Sweet Dreams' no 'I just needed to hear your voice'- Just some crappy text that say things like, "What Up?" or "Okay Then". Is this modern love and I'm just an old-fashioned old lady at forty-one?
My instincts were correct as usual. Apparently, 'Sucky Boy' had his eye on someone else. In my daughter's absence he's been spending time with 'the other woman'. I remember holidays with my boyfriend. He went everywhere with me. I didn't find out he was a 'Sucky boy' for years!
Her 'Sucky Boy' says, "I can't wait until January when you aren't grounded."
Excuse me? Wait for what? Good riddance, fair weather friend.
Merry Christmas 'Other Woman'.
And then technology hit the fan- He changed his Facebook status and seconds later an influx of text messages filled her inbox. "OMG!" and "What's going on?" "Are you okay?" Every time the phone vibrated she cried.
We did what any awesome parents would do; we took the phone away. But I'm a sucker and I let her use mine to text her best-friend. Minutes later it zinged to remind me I had a unread message. Sucky Boy was texting her back. "Y wut?"
I'm angry at myself for giving her my phone. Angry at her for texting him "Y?" And angry at him for sucking so much. Really? "Y wut?" He's such a lame.
So, I'm thinking, 'Thank you for ruining our holiday stupid boy and a true, heartfelt Thank you for ending it now rather than after the holidays which would make you look even more sucky in my eyes. And a GREAT BIG THANK YOU for saving me the money of purchasing an awesome gift for an unworthy recipient.'
What do you think? Is it better to break-up before the holidays or try to be 'polite' and do it after to save feelings? I had a boyfriend who would break up with me before my birthday or Christmas so he didn't have to buy me a gift. "For Reals."
I dedicate this post to all the texting teenagers out there. Write a letter. Use your voice. Even if your 'Sexting' it is still a detachable relationship. IT'S NOT REAL. It's too easy to type, "It's over." Why not try saying that eye to eye? Man up now before it is too late because many men never do.
Look for Part Two next week, "Why Sucky Boys Make Me Cry"