Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts

Tips to Teach Kids Before College

Kids Going Off To College? Here Are Some Things To Teach Them Before

 

It’s a bittersweet time when your children fly the nest after years of living under your wing. While you know it’s going to be an exciting new experience for them to learn and become adults, you can’t help but worry about them. So, to put your mind at ease, and to give them some useful knowledge before they go, let’s have a look at some tips you can teach your kids or speak to them about before they set off for college.


Tips to Teach Kids Before College


Domestic Duties

College is the time when your children will realize all that you do for them around the house, from cleaning up after them to cooking their meals. Hopefully, over the years, they’ll have picked up a thing or two from you, but it’s always a good idea to send them off with recipes, cleaning products, and anything else that will equip them for what lies ahead. College care packages are always helpful, but they need to learn to prepare for life on their own.

 

You’re still sure to get calls from them exclaiming how the washing machine won't spin (click the link for possible issues and fixes for this) or the oven won’t turn on, which you can help them with, trying to decipher the problem. These will often be simple fixes but if not, they can always get a professional in to fix the problem. This is all part of them growing up and learning how to handle things going wrong and how to make them right again. Here are some healthy eating tips for college students.

 

Alcohol

College is notorious for parties and drinking, so even if your son or daughter isn’t a drinker, you should still speak to them about this before they go. Ensure that they know to always be safe and never leave their cup unattended at events, as it could pose a threat. Their safety is paramount, so without scaring them or being over the top, you need to talk to them about being sensible and always letting someone know where they are. Make them aware that they never have to buckle to peer pressure, saying “no” is their right and if they don’t want to do something, then they don’t have to.

 

The Value Of Money

Cash can be tight for college students, so teaching them about budgeting and not splurging on unnecessary items is something that will come in handy for them. You can instill this at an early age, by giving them pocket money if they help you with chores, or when special occasions come around. This will help them to realize that money is earned and if they want something expensive, they have to save for it. You can reiterate what you’ve taught them over the years in the lead up to them moving away for college, as it’s more important now than ever as they won’t be living under your roof anymore. You might also want to look into scholarships. There are several scholarships available to homeschoolers.

 

Most of the time, your children will learn a lot of this along the way, but if you can offer them any help and guidance beforehand, at least you know you tried! This is their time to make mistakes, and those are often the most prominent learning curves of all. 


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How to Help Protect Your Teen From Mental Health Disorders

Keeping Teens Safe


From their very first days, your mission as a parent has been to keep your children safe from harm. This involves taking proactive steps to ensure their safety and make sure they grow to understand the potential for negative consequences to their actions. It's so hard to know how to help protect your teen from mental health disorders. Protecting your children from harm is a lifelong job.




How to Help Protect Your Teen From Mental Health Disorders




Like many parents, you likely sought to accomplish this goal by teaching them good eating habits and how totake care of themselves physically. However, the mental challenges that children face, particularly when they

transition into their teenage years, might not have been on your radar quite as much.


It can be difficult for parents to understand the mental struggles that teenagers face in this day and age. Today, teens face a great deal of pressure to live up to a certain archetype and work hard to set themselves up for future success. That being said, from a mental and physical standpoint, teenagers are still developing, leaving them to face such pressures before they even really know who they are or what they want to do with their lives.


As a parent, the best thing that you can do for your teen is take a proactive stance on mental health. With mental health conditions on the rise in young people, and more and more teenagers turning to self-harm and even suicide, it is important for parents to step in and help teens to navigate the burden of this stage of their lives. If you're the parent of a teen, here are a few ways you can seek to protect your teens from developing a mental health condition.


Educate Yourself


First and foremost, the best thing you can do to help your teen avoid developing a mental health condition is

to educate yourself. Learning about the prevalent mental health conditions in teenagers and how to detect

early signs that an issue might be at play can go a long way to stopping the progression of a mental health

condition before things get out of hand.


It's also a good idea to learn about the treatment options available to teens who struggle with mental health disorders. Resources on specific conditions like anorexia and bulimia can be found at edentreatment.com Acquiring information from your family care physician can help you to learn more about the internal struggles that your teen might be facing.


Create a Positive Environment


With busy work and school weekdays, it can be difficult to make time for meaningful conversationsand time together as a family. However, one of the things parents can do to help teens avoid mental health

issues is to work to create a positive and safe environment. Checking in with your teen and leaving the door open for communication is key. Promote a positive sense of self and provide your teen with positive affirmation which can help combat outside pressures to change or act in a certain way that may not align with their personal ethics and morals. Positivity and a happy home life go a long way in helping children cope during the teen years.





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Healthy Family Advice

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The last few articles have been on the subject of mental health and the breakup of the family unit. As the family situation changes, so do the matters of family concern. Of course, how you deal with these changes affect the future mental health of your children, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. As mentioned in a previous article, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” My advice is this, self-care is a key element to a happy, healthy family, but be careful, don't over do it.

                                                  This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.

healthy relationships how to get along self care  quote


If you’ve come off a long-term, unhealthy relationship, chances are you’ve been neglecting self-care. Self-care is key to your happiness. Newly separated or divorced individuals might choose to jump out into the dating scene. At first, it's exciting and new. If you've been in a bad situation, going out on dates and having fun can feel like self-care, but you need to be careful that all that good time fun having doesn’t lead to an even more unhealthy rebound relationship. Just like our children, we need to make healthy choices.

Practice being alone. I can’t emphasize this enough. Spend time alone. As much time as it takes for you to get over the pain. And as much time as you need to grow as a person. Learn from your mistakes and take care of yourself.  As I age, I see intelligent women jumping into relationships. Perhaps, they’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Maybe they’ve never held a full-time job. Some never had the chance to go to college. They’ve never managed their own finances. Often, they feel like they just can’t handle the responsibilities of taking care of themselves and their children. So, they go out on a man hunt. The goal is to find a better man than the last one. Some are looking for a man to meet their financial expectations, others are looking for companionship, and some are looking for a father figure for their children. Whatever the reason, they jump into a relationship too soon. Been there done that. 


Healthy Family


I got married while still in college. It was okay. Just okay. I wanted to be happy, but we were young and a lot was missing in the relationship. At that point in my life, the idea of a wedding was more important than the idea of a marriage. We were friends and companions struggling to find common ground, but something was always missing. Both of us had placed our focus on gaining knowledge and prepping for a career and little attention was given to intimacy. As starving college students, there was no money for fun things and then we jumped into buying a house, and then another house, and then it all just got way too overwhelming. There was simply no fun to be had.

Eventually, we talked to friends, family, and clergy. We attended counseling. It all pointed to the same thing, we just didn’t have the same goals or the same outlook on life. We ended the relationship in an amicable fashion. And that’s when my real troubles started. I briefly dated, but playing the field has never been my thing. Dating in your late 20’s is an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Ugh. It’s a brave new world. With my thirtieth birthday looming over my head, I really wanted to settle down and start a family before it was too late. I had some great men to choose from, two were truly amazing with interesting careers. One was neither amazing, nor did he have a great career. He was lucky to hold down a job. But he had what I wanted. A little girl. My family doctor and the counselor both advised against any serious relationship or even dating after the first year of a breakup, but my biological clock was ticking. Tick tock. Having been told I likely could never have children, I jumped at the chance. 

However, that wasn’t the only thing. He was fun. Oh so fun! He loved to dance, hike, bike, play sports, cook, and clean. One day, he called me one of the “cools.” I had been feeling lost. I was never cool. I wanted to do all those things I felt I’d missed out on in high school and college. Except I didn’t. I was still that goody two shoes inside. His risky lifestyle stressed me out. We fought. Among other things, he drank. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. It was like a dark movie from one of those cable tv channels for women. That was my first rebound.

After that, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pick myself up again. I had a lot of counseling. I saw a psychiatrist. I took various medications. Was I suicidal? Not really, but it seemed like life had gotten the best of me. I felt like a failure in every way imaginable. No kids, no career to speak of, and no real chance to recover from all the despair because, in my head, I was old. Oh, so old. I turned to online dating. It was uplifting to have so many men interested in dating me. It was also terrifying. That was the start of rebound number two. Not only did I not wait a year to date, in only a few short months I had moved in with a man and was pregnant. At the time, it seemed like he had everything I wanted. A good job, two kids, pets, a nice home. He was a widower and that (like the alcoholism before him) fulfilled my need for codependency. I had something to do, people to take care of, and dreams to fulfill. Except, we were less compatible than the previous rebound relationship. Shortly after my son was born, I became pregnant again.

Things weren’t ideal, but I always questioned myself. Why not? Maybe I was the problem. I should’ve been content. I was determined to make it work. I mean, after all, he wasn’t abusing me. He yelled a lot. It triggered old feelings from the previous relationship. I cried a lot. It made him mad. I cried more. It was an endless cycle. We barely knew each other. We met online. We were both lonely. As it came to be that he was my only friend for many years, we were really never friends. We both tried. The harder I tried, the more difficult it got. And now, there were kids involved. I didn’t want to break up the family unit. I didn’t want my kids to come from a broken home. Ugh, the damage I did to all of us by trying to stick this one out. We were the absolute opposite of compatible. I will spare you the gory details.

I had so many health issues. I spent months in bed, with nothing more to do than reflect on my past. I knew it had to end. But I was scared. Could I do it alone? Was I strong enough? I started stepping up my game, working harder from home, seeing various specialists and improving my health, and building credit. Once I knew what had to be done, I still wasn’t ready to do it. Things finally worked out in a way that made ending the relationship the most logical decision. It was difficult, but I didn’t need to seek counseling. I threw myself into my work, my writing, and the remodeling of my new house.

After years of thinking about it, deep down, I knew if I were ever to have another relationship again, I’d have to be strong. I’d have to take care of myself first, I’d need a break. I wrote down the pros and cons of dating. Months passed. I thought about what I wanted. What I needed, who I wanted and why. I realized I didn’t need a man to be happy. But I wanted that companionship that had eluded me for most of my life.


Why it's okay to Need a Man


It was always the same set of traits that had always led me to the same conclusion. But, I didn’t want to make the wrong choice with the right choice. So, naively, I  attempted to play the field again, but I didn’t date. I just talked. I talked to several old friends and acquaintances. This time no online dating, no strangers. I weaned them all out. I settled on one for an attempt at dating. We talked for weeks before meeting in person. I knew him from high school. He seemed to fit the criteria. But low and behold, it was a mistake. A big mistake, but one I wanted to cling to because I was sad and lonely. I had basically given up. I was about to turn fifty. There was no more time for mistakes. If I thought dating in my late twenties was hard - whoa. In your fifties, it’s a whole new frontier. Casual dating wasn’t an option for me. 

I took a few weeks to get myself together. I pulled out my list again, and this time, I realized what I always needed had always been there. Sometimes, you just need a friend.


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Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Emotional Issues from Child Follow You To Adulthood


Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

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Teen Angst



Preparing Teens for Life after High School

How Your Teen Can Prepare for Post-High School



Your teen has spent the majority of their childhood getting an education. Deciding what they're going to do post-high school is often a challenge. However, to ensure that the senior year is less daunting than they expect and that they're ready for whatever the world throws at them, here are some of basic ways to prepare teens for things to come.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

preparing for future life roles after high school teens career choices


Look at College Options
Around 67% of high school graduates enrolled in college in 2017, and so it's extremely likely that your teen is looking at college as a viable future option. While this is an important stepping stone toward their careers, it's vital that they spend time considering the right college options. 


To do this, you should consider looking at Cornell University GPA requirements on CampusReel, among others, as this will help your teen find a college where their application is likely to be accepted. You should also take them to open days and apply for brochures that can help your teen find out what each college can offer them.

Take AP or Honors Classes
If your teen wants to stretch themselves academically and be in a good position for the level and type of learning that college offers, consider enrolling them in AP and Honors classes. Not only will these types of classes assimilate the types of projects that they'll commit to at college, but they can also help boost their qualifications and grades so that they can apply for higher ranking colleges and job positions in the future.

Visit Their School’s Career Team
One of the benefits of establishing your teen’s plan for the future while they're still at high school is they will have access to their school’s career team, who can help them plot their goals and long-term dreams. Not only can the team discuss a number of careers with your teen, but they'll also be able to give high school students advice for their college applications and help them find future work experience within the job sector holds their interest. Our local college career center offers things like: building trades, welding, nursing, childcare, broadcasting, and graphic design.

Study online to get a certificate in Early Childhood Education.

Get a Part-Time Job
Is your teen lacking in real-world experience? If you're concerned about how your teen will cope with their sudden entry into the real world, you should consider encouraging them to take on a part-time job. Not only will this force them to improve their time management skills by having to balance this job with their studies, but it will also allow them to boost many of the necessary skills for adulthood, such as independence and communication. It also allows them to experience working for and learning to follow the rules of other adults. So, it can change their attitude toward following your intstructions too.

Study for Exams

However, the most important thing your teen should do before they leave high school is study for exams, which gets them in a good position for their future, whether they want to go to college or go straight into the world of work. To help teenagers achieve their full potential, there are many resources online that can help teens study and excel at their end of high school tests. CLEP tests are great tests for college.


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Is It Time to Let Your Child Have Their Own Phone?

What Age Should Kid Get Phone?


If your child doesn’t already have their own phone, and they’re at an age when their friends are getting smart phones, no doubt, you'll face endless nagging conversations in the days up to their birthday and the holidays. The peer pressure for kids to get a cellphone is high, and if your child doesn’t have a phone, they may worry about being excluded from their groups or missing out on events (#fomo.) So, is it time to bite the bullet and get your kid the phone they’ve been wanting? It depends, right?

This post contains affiliate links, including Amazon. When you click, we may get a commission.





Average Age
We face this in our family. On the one hand, I don't want to buy an expensive phone that's going to get lost or misplaced. But on the other hand, it would make life easier with after school clubs and activities. Children mature at different rates, each parent has to make their own decisions based on their own child. However, many parents want to know whether their child is ‘too young’ to get a cellphone, or whether they’re being cruel by holding out on this big purchase. According to recent studies, the average age to get a first cellphone is 10.3 years old, which means, by the time kids hit middle school, many of their friends will already have phones. 

Following Rules
Most parenting experts agree, it’s not the age of the child that matters, but more the maturity level and the ability to follow rules around smartphone usage. Before you put the device into your child's hands, you need to set ground rules. Set daily phone usage limits, how much time kids can spend, whether they can take the phone to school, etc.

Did you know, many cellphones have apps that help you keep track of your child’s screen time and ensure they’re not visiting inappropriate websites, but when you give your child a phone, you should be able to trust that they aren't using the phone in a way that will put them in danger. You can use "Google Find My Phone" to keep track of the phone's whereabouts, this can be very helpful when your teen is supposed to be home.

Protecting the Device
Cost is also a big factor when it comes to deciding to buy a cellphone for your child. Unless they’re already at an age where they have a part-time job, it’s another monthly bill for you to cover. You’ll need to ensure you have insurance in case the phone is lost or stolen. It’s worth looking for BodyGuardz iPhone 7 Plus cases too, just in case of any drops or knocks, so you aren’t stuck with a big phone repair bill. 

Ensuring Screen-free Time
One problem with giving children cellphones is that it’s harder to enforce screen-free times if they have their own device. If your kids go to the park with friends or hang out in their room, they’ll likely be glued to their phone.
When it comes to homework, studies have shown that simply having a phone in the room ruins a child's concentration, so you may need to watch out for slipping grades too. Consider enforcing cellphone usage times, say between 8 am and 10 pm, so your kids aren’t up all night surfing the internet or watching YouTube. When it’s time to do homework or sit down for dinner, place all phones in a basket out of sight, so there’s no temptation to fiddle with the phone and ruin family time.

Getting your first cellphone is a rite of passage in the digital age, but as a parent, it’s up to you to decide when the time is right for your child, and whether they can understand the responsibilities that come with this pricey gift. 
No matter what you decide, you'll have to deal with teen angst that will surely stress you out. We're right there with you. Got questions? Leave a comment and we'll try to help!


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Looking for Gifts for Teen Boys

Thoughtful Gifts for Teenage Boys this Christmas

Choosing perfect Christmas gifts for teenage boys is difficult – they're not an easy group to please. Perhaps they might not tell you what they'd like, or they might seem disinterested in everything except gaming and sports items. That’s why we've compiled a list of unique and thoughtful gift ideas for teen boys which are sure to bring a smile to their face on the big day. We’ve picked a couple of ideas below, but if you need further gift inspiration, you'll also want to check out this list of ideas for a 13 year old .


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Looking for Gifts for Teen Boys?



Christmas Gift List for Teen Boys


  • Being a Teenage Boy Book
First on our list of thoughtful gifts for teen boys is this book for teenage boys aimed at 11–14 year old boys. Though the book is only 50 pages, it gives teen boys tons of important life skills and messages that they should know. Including things such as respecting girls and women, that it’s okay to fail sometimes, and the importance of having a strong work ethic. This is a great book to show teen boys you're thinking about them and want to help develop them into fine young men.




books for teen boys, 11-14 yrs.

  • Gamer Socks
Socks might not top the list as the most exciting Christmas gifts for teenagers, but these gamer socks are sure to appeal to those who love playing video games! They have a non-slip design on the sole, making them ideal for hard flooring. The socks are made from cotton and polyester and are comfortable and soft. The moisture-wicking technology is designed to repel odor, so your teen’s feet will always smell fresh! Gamer socks fit sizes from 6 –12, so gamer socks for teens are ideal for most teen gamers.



gamer socks for teens gift ideas





  • To My Son Dog Tag
Jewelry is a nice choice when it comes to unique Christmas gifts for teenagers. This dog tag necklace shows teens how much they means to you. It’s made from stainless steel to ensure it's long lasting and won’t rust and it will remain shiny and new for years to come. Versions are available from grandma, grandpa or dad, so you can customize the gift depending on your relation to the teen boy. The rear of the tag is left blank so you can take it to be engraved with the recipient’s name or another special message to make this a really personal gift idea for your boy. Find more personalized gifts for kids.



Dog Tag Gift Idea for Teen Boy Son



  • 97 Things to Do Before You Finish High School Book 
Books are a thoughtful gift idea for teens. This thoughtful Book gives boys ideas of fun things they should do some day but won’t learn about in school! It shows them how to do all sorts of fun things such as planning a road trip, making a time capsule, or more practical skills such as doing laundry. The book acts as a kind of bucket list of things that teen boys should do before finishing high school. Teens will find it packed full of fun and exciting ideas to try.






  • Mom & Son Journal
Finally, last on our list of thoughtful Christmas gift ideas is this journal book for boys. This book gift idea is a precious mother and son journal that's great for homeschoolers. The mother son journal is filled with questions which require brief answers, either by filling in the blank or using multiple choice answers. With its mix of fun and more serious questions, it's a great way for teens to bond with mom. It’s ideal for promoting discussion when conversation dries up, yet is intended to be lighthearted and fun. The book is perfect for young teens or preteens who aren’t always talkative or open and is a great way to bring them out of their shell. Older teens may find it it silly or embarrassing, so know the teen your shopping for before choosing this option.


journal book for teen boys



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Thoughtful Gifts for Teenage Boys this Christmas