Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Plan a Family Focused Wedding Day

Making Your Wedding A Family-First Day


While the wedding day is primarily about the bride and groom, the day is also about your extended family and ensuring that they are included in your special day. Children especially can be overlooked at weddings - Parents.com has charted a huge rise in adults-only events - which can result in kids feeling left out or bored. A wedding is a very emotional event and it’s important that any children attending are well looked after and enjoy what’s happening - starting with the main event. So, plan a family focused wedding day.


Focus on Family Wedding Day


The ceremony 

Wedding ceremonies are often both emotional and formal, which can be quite intimidating to children - even more so if it’s a second wedding, it can be emotionally conflicting for the children involved. Make sure the children understand what is happening, also consider getting them involved in the activities of the big day to help ease their concerns. Letting the children take on roles and help throughout the ceremony is a great way to include them and ease their emotions, for instance give them a part as best man, flower girl, or ring bearer and talk up their duties as you plan for the big day. As Verywell Family highlights, kids love being given responsibility, giving them a special part to play will create memories for all to cherish.


Enjoying the reception 

Unlike the ceremony itself, the reception has a more relaxed atmosphere and is a time for everyone to wind down and start celebrating. Speeches are a big part of the reception, and it’s a nice idea for the children to be mentioned in the speech. This will make them feel appreciated and welcomed. Alternatively, you could have the children write and give their own speech and make them a central part of the day. What great fun this will make years later, as you re-watch the wedding day videos!


Late into the evening 

As the party goes on into the night, children can become tired and irritable. Wedding days are long so don’t expect them to be able to keep up with you and your other wedding guests. It’s essential that the children are catered for and have somewhere to retreat to when they’re tired and ready for bed. Don't let them feel forgotten! Furthermore, give them the confidence to be able to tell you when they’re ready to call it a night. This will ensure they don’t feel like they have to stay up with the adults. 


Weddings are an amazing occasion and a day to be shared with adult family and friends, but it’s important to ensure that children are happy too. Making a wedding family-friendly, by having children be a central part of the big day, will ensure their memories are happy, rather than unpleasant. When the wedding is family focused, it sets the framework for a pleasant future, blended family or not.


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What is Hoarding Disorder?

 

What can you do when someone suffers from hoarding disorder?


Have you ever joked about a friend being a hoarder because their desk is covered in papers, or their home is cluttered? Hoarding is a real issue for some people, and it is very distressing. At first, a lot of hoarders don't notice the issue and they probably can't see how it’s affecting their lifestyle or worrying their loved ones. If they do recognize the problem, hoarders might feel embarrassed and isolated from friends and family. So, what is hoarding disorder, and how can you help someone who suffers from it?



What is hoarding disorder? Are you a hoarder?




Hoarding Disorder and Causes


Hoarding disorder is when an individual keeps a lot of things, no matter what the value of these items.They could have anything from broken appliances to old newspapers stored away in their homes leaving their home untidy, dirty, and a generally unpleasant space to be in.

A person with hoarding disorder feels upset or anxious about getting rid of the clutter because they've often formed a strong emotional attachment to these objects, particularly if the hoarded item represents something sentimental to them. Several mental health issues can be connected to hoarding disorder: severe depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis. If the person with hoarding disorder has recently gone through a difficult period in life, such as the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, or another traumatic event, this may serve as a catalyst for developing the disorder.

Hoarders often find comfort in collecting and saving items for future use. Of course, hoarding disorder can happen to anyone, but it isn’t uncommon for hoarding to develop in people who live alone or grew up in an untidy environment.


What Can You Do About It?


Hoarding disorder is when an individual keeps a lot of things, no matter what the value of these items.They could have anything from broken appliances to old newspapers stored away in their homes leaving their home untidy, dirty, and a generally unpleasant space to be in. 

A person with hoarding disorder feels upset or anxious about getting rid of the clutter because they've often formed a strong emotional attachment to these objects, particularly if the hoarded item represents something sentimental to them.

Several mental health issues can be connected to hoarding disorder: severe depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis. If the person with hoarding disorder has recently gone through a difficult period in life, such as the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, or another traumatic event, this may serve as a catalyst for developing the disorder. Hoarders often find comfort in collecting and saving items for future use. Of course, hoarding disorder can happen to anyone, but it isn’t uncommon for hoarding to develop in people who live alone or grew up in an untidy environment.

Since hoarding is linked to mental health, typical treatments include CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and counseling to identify the root cause of the hoarding. If the hoarding is associated with depression, antidepressant medication might be prescribed and allow for some relief.

If you're concerned that a loved one has a hoarding disorder, gently suggest that they visit the GP with you. Remember, a lot of people with this disorder don't recognize that there's a problem. Others may feel embarrassed, so be patient with them. Let them know that you care and that you are there for them whenever they feel overwhelmed or when they're ready to talk about their circumstances.

When a hoarder is ready to deal with the issue and start organizing their home, you might also need professional services to help. Hoarder clean up services are specialists in dealing with these situations and understand how emotional and difficult it can be for the individuals who suffer with the disorder. A clean up service will also be able to deep-clean the property to make it a safe, healthy living environment for your loved one. While people might joke about being a hoarder, for many people, this is a serious issue that impacts their daily lives. If you're concerned that you or someone you love has developed a hoarding disorder, speak to mental health professionals for further advice on what steps you need to take.


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Suffering from Emotional Issues?


Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Emotional Issues from Child Follow You To Adulthood


Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

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4 Suggestions for Smooth Living with Blended Families

Advice for Blending Families

Blending two families together as one can prove to be challenging, especially when different personalities and needs come into play. With children entering the equation on both sides and different parenting styles suddenly merging, it's important to make sure everyone's feelings, needs and wants are taken into consideration before moving in together. 


Read about one of our contributor’s experiences with Blending Families.


Preparing to live together as a family means discussing finances, making sure everyone has their own space, and/or preparing children for the big change in one way or another. Here are some suggestions for making the transition of becoming a blended family as smooth as possible.


This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.


Advice for Blending Families


1. Hash Out Child-Rearing Approaches

Different attitudes on child rearing can make or break a home. Not everyone has the same parenting style. While some parents are considered "pushovers," allowing their children to get and do whatever they want (with no ability to say "no,") other parents are a bit more disciplined. When two people with different child-rearing approaches come together as one blended family, it can be difficult when an incident occurs with their children.

To keep everyone on the same page, it's important to discuss child-rearing techniques and approaches before you move in together. Indeed, it makes for a much more peaceful home. Remember, children need consistency, so try to address this important issue as soon as possible. You don’t want to have to learn your new partner's child rearing stance the hard way. 


Follow our Parenting Tips board on Pinterest.


2. Ensure Everyone Has Their Own Space

Blending d├ęcor is one of the many challenges facing soon-to-be blended families, but it's completely doable. If it's within your budget, consider letting each child have their own room, which can go a long way in helping smooth out living situations and making sure everyone gets along with each other. It can also help to let your children decorate their own space and put their own stamp on it. This can help them feel a sense of belonging. 

When it comes to designing and outfitting a child's bedroom, consider any number of bedroom sets that show off your children's style and personality. Whether you decide to shop online or head to one of their stores, you'll be able to find all that you need to truly make your new house feel like home for everyone. Be sure to include the child in the process. It’s a fun family experience and can help a new parent bond with their step children.


3. Discuss Your Finances

Before you become a blended family, discuss how you'll manage your finances. Will you keep separate bank accounts and split the bills down the middle? Or, will you have a joint bank account to which you'll each contribute? Think about how you'll handle spending, especially if one partner makes more than the other. It’s always a good idea to keep some finances separate, particularly if you both have full-time careers and are used to spending your money your way. It’s always good to create a joint account for mutual household expenses.

Will one partner need to consult the other before making a large purchase? If so, what amount constitutes a large purchase? Will you have to discuss purchases when it comes to your children or will you have the freedom to decide how you spend your money on them? To avoid arguments in the future, these are some things you should think about before you blend your families together. 


4. Prepare Your Children for the Move

If you want things to go smoothly once the big day arrives, making sure your children are prepared for the move is essential. Let them know ahead of time when and what will happen, so they'll be better equipped to handle the changes ahead. Sit down with your children and discuss the move so they can express their feelings about it.

While you're not exactly asking their permission, it's important to let them know that their feelings and concerns are valid and that you'll help them sort through them if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about their new living situation. Talk about the new routine and let them know you won't love them any less with new children coming into the picture. Be sure to remind them they'll still have a space to call their own- and make sure they do, even if it is a little nook in your dining room!


You might also want to prepare your pets for a life change.


Preparing to Blend Families

Blending families is rarely easy, if ever, but taking the above steps into consideration can help make the transition a bit easier for everyone involved. It also helps keep the peace and ensure everyone is on the same page so that you can work together to create a smooth living situation for the entire family.



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If Mama Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy: The Family Relationship

Family Relationship Challenges


What’s the biggest relationship challenge in your family? How do you keep everything together, day in and day out, day after day? Time commitments, financial responsibilities, and emotional needs of each family member can take a toll on your happiness. Those people pleasers who need to take care of everyone often forget to take care of themselves. In my situation, I never wanted to spend money on personal needs (including health care) if it would take away from things my kids needed or wanted.


For years, we didn’t have health insurance, so any health setback caused major financial problems. I also didn’t take care of myself in other ways. I cut my own hair, never had a manicure until I was fifty years old, wore the same old clothes year after year, never went out to lunch with friends, never even saw my friends, and never indulged in frivolous things that I might want for the house. I considered any of that selfish.



This sponsored post contains Amazon affiliate links. All opinions are my own.



if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy quote song



It’s important to take care of yourself. You’ve probably heard the quote, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain't nobody happy.” I’m sure there’s some truth to this. You can put on a happy face, but if your needs aren’t being met and you have nothing to look forward to, your relationship is going to suffer- even if you're not the one causing the majority of the turmoil. I know it’s difficult. I used to see other women spending too much time on themselves, ignoring the needs of their children. They’d go shopping for themselves several times a month while their children wore clothes they’d outgrown. I never wanted to be like that, but I took it too far the other way. You’ve been there. We don’t have to be martyrs to be mothers. Taking care of yourself, puts you in a better place. You’ll be better equipped to tackle those relationship issues with your partner. Communication is a key factor in the downward spiral of relationships. When communication is poor, everything else becomes difficult.




Eventually, lack of communication breaks the partnership. In my relationship, the more I tried to communicate with my partner, the more difficult the relationship became. There are things couples need to discuss. Things that can’t be swept under the rug. Plans for the future, health of your children, plans to make about family events to attend, even how each of you are feeling about the status of your relationship. When you have a partner who won’t talk to you about any of it, you’ve got a problem that needs fixed. Parents need to keep a united front for their children. They need to work together as a team for the greater good of the family, even if it means sacrificing the personal desires.


For me, self-care felt like a selfish, personal desire because my partner took up all that empty space for himself. He worked all the time or found extra things to do to help others, just to avoid coming home and facing real life problems. These problems ranged from my serious illness where I was bedridden for months, to house repairs, financial responsibilities, and even mental health problems the kids were facing. I couldn’t run off for a haircut or even a doctor’s appointment because there was no safety net. He couldn’t seem to  find an hour to give me a break and if he did, he’d use that hour to sleep - not to watch the kids. So, everywhere I went, I took the kids. Everywhere. 



Check out this old post about a family excursion, see any red flags?



Let me tell you, this is not only unhealthy for you, it’s also unhealthy for your kids. We all need time apart from each other. The kids feel it too. They need options. They need time away from the family.  Sure, we attended homeschool groups, summer camps, special events, 4-H and any other free or low cost activity I could find, but none of it made the pitfalls in our broken family any better. It just kept our mind’s busy enough to make it through another day- or so I thought.


Mama needs time to feel good about herself. Sure, you may think you don’t want to jog or join a walking club. You may think you can cut your own hair to save money for the greater good, you may think a vice here and there, maybe a pint of ice cream or bar of chocolate, are good survival mechanisms, but in the long run, if your always the one making sacrifices life’s not going to turn out like you hoped.


Remember when you started your relationship with your partner? You took care of yourself, you took showers- maybe even relaxing baths, you did your makeup, and bought yourself a flattering outfit. You went out to lunch with your friends. You had dinner dates with your partner and even did activities that you both enjoyed together. You probably even talked about your hopes and dreams for the future. Don’t let yourself get lost in the shuffle.  If it's not too late, fix it. If it is too late, do yourself a favor and try to fix it before throwing in the towel.


Don’t try to wait it out and hope it will get better. There’s no need to feel guilty about taking time for yourself.. If you can’t possibly spare the money or feel like spending money on relationship counseling would set you back financially, there are many affordable online counseling services out there. ReGain is a great place to start. There are  plenty of self-help articles and videos that can kick start your decision making process and help you decide what’s best for your family. 


Going back to school and investing in one's self is also a huge deal for self-confidence and mental stimulation/relaxation. Healthcare-related fields offer great satisfaction and challenge.  Looking at community colleges or schools for certification or insurance coding can be a great first step.


Life balance is important. Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t decide that you must've done something to deserve your current situation. Sometimes, you can’t fix it on your own, sometimes the answer is right in front of you, but the outcome will have unavoidable consequences. On the flip side, sometimes, if you make small changes in your personal life, if you start taking care of yourself and taking pride in your own achievements, everything else will fall into place. Your children won’t suffer from a parent who takes care of themselves, when Mama is happy, there’s a far better chance that everyone else is happy too. Don’t wait until it’s too late. 


Your happy ending is waiting for you.



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Self Care Tips for Parents

A Guide to Taking Care of Yourself as a Parent



Self-care is often not a parent’s number one priority. First and foremost, they tend to the wants and needs of their child, and everything the parent wants and needs comes in a resounding second place. Parents need to take care of themselves to properly care for their children. We've compiled some self care tips for parents.
This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you click and purchase I get a commission.


Self Care Tips for Parents



Living without self care for too long, however, will do neither parents nor their children any good. It will lower the elder’s morale and make them more susceptible to fatigue, and the younger won’t get the care they need as a result. If you feel that you, as a parent, are guilty of not taking care of yourself as often as you need to, then, you need to make a change.

To see what you can do to take care of yourself without forgoing your responsibilities as a parent, be sure to check out the following self care tips for parents.


Guide on How to Take Care of Yourself as a Parent



Don’t be adverse to napping

If you find yourself with a bit of spare time on your hands (if your parents offer to have your child for the afternoon, for instance), don’t feel that you need to spend your free time cleaning the home or getting dinner ready. Spend your break wisely, even if that means taking a little nap. Sleeping is always an excellent idea for parents, especially those that feel particularly run down, and even a few minutes here and there will prove beneficial. No matter the time of the day, if you feel in need of some rejuvenation, just get your head down for a nap!



Exercise regularly

On the other hand, physical activity can also prove to be a significant benefit in this instance. Whether you head to the gym, go on a run, take a brisk walk, or workout at home while your child is playing or sleeping, you will release endorphins around your body when you engage in physical activity, and these endorphins will make you feel instantly more positive. When you are tasked with the demanding job of being a parent, being positive as often as you can is pivotal, which, in turn, makes exercising regularly a must.


If you really are opposed to strength training and cardio work, then why not try yoga? This form of exercise, whether it’s rigorous or gentle, will release the endorphins as mentioned above just as well. What’s more, it will keep you in shape both physically and mentally to boot. Making you a better parent!


Engage in therapy

Sometimes, all you need to do to take care of yourself as a parent is to engage in therapy. When you talk to a neutral third-party, you'll be able to dump a lot of the feelings, fears, and worries that you have long carried around with you without having to worry about what your friends and family may think about you. The neutral advice that they offer will also allow you to see your life from a whole new perspective. Again, this will make you a better parent.

For more information on how you can engage in a therapeutic program, especially that that is centered around substance abuse and mental health, make sure to check out Forwardrecovery.com. With compassionate and effective programs on offer, Forward Recovery could help you to become not only a better person but a better parent.

By making a point of taking care of yourself, both you and your child will benefit. Take the advice laid out in the guide above, then, and start putting yourself first for a change. Self care while you're parenting is essential to a healthy family life. Don't feel guilty to the time you need for yourself!



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Adopting Healthy Lifestyles as a Family

Everyone in the Family should Live Healthy Lifestyles to Insure a Better Quality of Life



Living a healthy lifestyle is something that many people aspire to do. It's difficult to adopt a healthy lifestyle and keep up the routine. However, if the entire family lives a healthy lifestyle, it's easier to maintain and insure your health goals. Perhaps you have a job that takes up a lot of your time, or you're too busy with volunteer work, school, or anything else that life throws at you. No matter the reason, you need to make the time to become healthy and set a good example for your children.

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links for your convenience.


Tips on Adopting Healthy Lifestyles as a Family



You're the only one that can change your everyday habits for the better, but it can be much easier to do if everyone in the family acknowledges the importance of healthy living. If our children learn from a young age what it means to eat healthy meals and exercise, they'll take that knowledge with them into adulthood as well.

Why should everyone in the family live healthy lifestyles? When you start living a healthy lifestyle at an early age, it becomes second nature. As you age, you'll be ready to adapt to lifestyle changes that will continue to improve your health and you won't get stuck in those addictive unhealthy habits that can lead to obesity and other chronic illnesses which can be a downer when you're searching for term life insurance quotes. Another added benefit of a healthy lifestyle is the opportunity to enjoy the time with your grandkids as an active participant rather than an inactive observer.


Tips on how to achieve a healthy lifestyle together as a family:



Kids Learn from Their Parents
Kids look at parents as their role models, which is why it's paramount that parents do their part and teach their children about what it means to live a healthy lifestyle. Whether it’s eating healthy and nutritious meals, or the importance of staying active, you can always make a difference in the type of habits that your children adopt.


Use it as an Opportunity to Spend Time Together
Living a healthy life as a family gives everyone an opportunity to spend quality time together. Be mindful and add these tips to insure better healthy lifestyle results for your efforts.


1. Exercise

Rather than exercising alone, go for a walk outside with your family members. This also gives you an opportunity to properly talk to one another. It's a great way to bring up those difficult conversations you've been meaning to get started but never seem to find the time to do. Get fit with these fitness gift ideas.


2. Weekend road trips

Don't forget about road trips with kids This is the perfect opportunity for everyone to destress and improve mental health while enjoying some family fun, making lasting memories together, and insuring that your bond is strong. Road trips are also a great way to get to know each better. Share happy stories of your childhood, but remember to stay away from difficult subjects or anything stressful.


A Future Health Routine
It’s important to find a routine that everyone in the family will benefit from. If you plan on being active, why not do it while everyone is together? Plus, the activities your children pursue from a young age will impact their future, as well.

When your kids are grown up and they're young adults, who is to say that they'll not end up becoming personal trainers, physiotherapists, yoga instructions or something else that is a result of the activities they participated in as a family when they were younger? Often kids who sign up for football and discover a passion for it end up wanting to pursue this in the future, whether as a hobby or a potential career.


The same can be said for other jobs that are considered health and wellness careers. Of course, this is all based on a person's individual personality and what they enjoy doing. Perhaps you found an interest in personal training as a result of working with a trainer to improve your health. That might lead to a career change.


Don’t forget that no matter what you choose to do in the future, you'll have to acquire the necessary qualifications that allow you to make a career out of your health and wellness lifestyle. This is the case for those interested in personal training, for example, they can complete an online fitness course Leicester in order to get certified, making it an easy way to get educated on healthy lifestyle fitness careers. Keep in mind that different career paths will require different steps. Some will require certifications, some will require degrees.


Adopting a healthy lifestyle as a family is a win-win situation. Of course, you want the best for your family. So why not prioritize adopting healthy habits as a family into your daily routine? This will improve your quality of life, both in the short and long-term, improve your chance of obtaining affordable health insurance, and likely get you the best possible term life insurance quotes. You'll find yourself saving money on bad habits, insurance, and feeling much happier as a result of it all! These simple lifestyle changes can bring your family closer together. As always, I know you can do it!



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