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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query therapist. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query therapist. Sort by date Show all posts

Feeling Disrespected by Family

Do you often feel cast aside and disrespected by family members?

Are you feeling disrespected in your relationships? Most of us feel disrespected at times, even when no one really means to show us disrespect. Parenting is hard, but being the mom is harder. Society puts pressure on moms to always do the right thing, to put on a happy face, and never to let the family see that you’re human too. How do you know when you’re just feeling emotional versus when the disrespect is out of control? Feeling disrespected by family stifles good vibes, what can you do?

Damned if you do quote
You're damned if you do and damned if you don't quote.

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Kids will be kids. But when teenagers behave like teenagers, family relationships can get difficult. When do you choose your battle, when do you ignore the emotional roller coaster, and when do you jump on the parenting train to try to fix it? Is it just a phase or are they modeling the behavior of another family member? If your partner is disrespectful, chances are your kids will be too. Not sure if your partner has crossed the line? ReGain has a very eye-opening article that can help you decide.


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If your kids are suffering from the effects of your relationship, they may act out or become depressed. Children, especially teens, get frustrated by their lack of control over their life situations. Sometimes they feel like the situation is hopeless- no matter how hard you try to work with them. I’ve been down this road more than once. It doesn’t get any easier with practice. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and be prepared to be the bad guy no matter what you say. The old adage, “You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t,” starts to feel like the title of your life.

When I split with my partner of fifteen years, we all suffered with depression and the fear of the unknown. As a parent, watching your children suffer is painful. No matter how much you want to help, your help may not be the answer. Public school counselors can often help zero in on issues like adhd, autism, depression, suicidal tendencies, or other emotional issues. If you’re a homeschooler, finding an affordable counselor isn’t as easy. There are many online resources. This article might help a teen who is fighting to hold back tears when they’re feeling frustrated or angry: Why do I cry when I’m Mad?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this article from GoodTherapy shares a list of teen help hotlines and other free mental health resources. Your pediatrician can also do a depression evaluation survey, and based on the results, refer you to a family counselor. Many family therapists operate on a sliding scale. 


Articles on Autism


After the upheaval in our family, the kids and I moved to our happy place. A little cottage on a quiet lake, where we could swim, kayak, and birdwatch to our heart’s content. The first few weeks we kept our minds busy by remodeling the house, but after a while reality set in, and we decided to try family counseling. No one really enjoyed it, we had to make some sacrifices to find an affordable therapist which ended up being an hour from home. By the time we got off the waiting list, much of the family dynamic had changed and the diagnosis was changed from severe depression to adhd. The counselor had to have a diagnosis for our insurance to continue to pay, but it didn’t really seem to fit our circumstances.

With other members of the family with adhd, we had some prior experience dealing with the ups and downs, and this really wasn’t the same thing. It was nice to have a neutral party listen to our problems, but it wasn’t really worth the trouble. It caused more stress on an already stressed relationship, because the kids didn’t want to go and the family dynamic continued to play out. I know that sounds counterintuitive. I know that I’m the parent and I shouldn’t let the kids overrule me, but believe me, this wasn’t good for any of us. At the time, an online therapy option would’ve been ideal. 

Finally, the best solution for our family came through the advice of our pediatrician, the kids needed their own life. They needed more activities that they enjoyed. Sure, we did homeschool groups, 4-H, and summer camps, but it wasn’t enough. My kids were at a place in their lives where they needed more, even if they didn’t want more. They also needed less. Less time with mom, less time with each other. We all needed some space to help distance ourselves from the previous situation.

The biggest battle we faced was a lack of real relationships. There were no close relationships so that the kids could see healthy family behaviors modeled. We lived over an hour away from any relatives, so extended family time was few and far between. It was definitely time for a major change. After some heartfelt conversations with the pediatrician, relatives, and close friends, we decided our life needed an overhaul. The biggest piece of the puzzle that we all longed for was a sense of belonging. So we packed our bags and moved back to my hometown where we could be closer to family that would provide a support network as we all stepped out into the real world for the first time in years. I took a part-time job as an activity assistant at a retirement home and the kids both enrolled in public school. Talk about change! Change is scary, but sometimes we need a catalyst to set our lives in the right direction. All of these changes have led me to a wonderful opportunity with our local Habitat for Humanity. Look for more updates in coming posts.

 

Recommended:


If Mama Ain't Happy Article from Adventures of Kids Creative Chaos

Signs of Trouble? Article from Adventures of Kids Creative Chaos




Can the Stress of Being a Mom Cause Hair Loss?

How Mom Stress Can Cause Hair Loss


What can cause hair loss in women? With all of the traveling and adventuring, it is easy to become stressed from time to time, especially when you also take into account the challenges of everyday life and work. Although a little stress is normal when you have a family, if you are beginning to feel as if your stress is endless, you must find ways to manage it, as stress can lead to physical symptoms, including hair loss.


This post contains Amazon affiliate links.


How Mom Stress Can Cause Hair Loss


In the photo above, I have inexpensive hair extensions for a Halloween costume party. I thought it was obvious, but my friends actually thought I went to the salon and got real extensions. My actual hair is shoulder length. Pretty good color match, don't you think? Though, I don't have a problem with hair loss or thinning, I did notice a lot of hair extra hair in the shower drain after recovering from Covid 19.


What causes stress?

You may begin to experience stress due to changes coming up in your life, even if these changes are fun ones like going on vacation or moving into your dream house. You might also start to feel stressed if you feel pressured, whether this is to be a good mom or to meet all of your work deadlines. Some women feel stressed if they do not take enough time off work, or if they are worried about something, such as a new baby or their lack of finances. 


How does stress cause hair loss?

As well as having an emotional impact on you and causing mental health issues, stress can also create a physical reaction in your body. It should also be noted that hormonal changes such as perimenopause and menopause can cause hair thinning and loss in women. When you are stressed, your hair follicles might stay in the resting phase of their cycle rather than fluctuating between resting and growing. If this persists for too long, they might then begin to fall out regardless of what you do to your hair. This can make you even more stressed as you begin to feel self-conscious about your appearance.


Should you get a hair transplant?

Although your hair will usually start to regrow once your stress levels have lessened, if you do find that you are struggling with hair loss to a great extent, you should consider the benefits of a hair transplant from a hair clinic near me. They will be able to restore your hair to its prime and allow you to disguise any bald patches that have formed on your head. With a hair transplant, there;s need for Halloween hair extensions. This can help you to meet your hair goals and to feel like yourself again, boosting your confidence, and enabling you to focus on your family. Although there are many different treatments for hair loss, hair transplants are nearly permanent and can make a dramatic difference that will allow you to start living your life to the fullest instantly. You won't have to hide inside your house in fear that others will notice your hair loss.


How can you reduce stress?

If you want to reduce the stress that you've been experiencing, make sure that you exercise often and get out into nature to enjoy the benefits of sunshine, that you drink and eat enough healthy choices, and that you try to reduce the triggers of your stress.

Take some time off to recenter yourself and perform self-care activities during which you can focus on yourself rather than the rest of the family. If your stress has reached unmanageable levels, consider scheduling an appointment with a therapist, where you can talk through the problems you are facing and process the emotions that you are experiencing. Sometimes, it's as simple as throwing on some silly hair extensions and attending a costume party! Whatever you choose, be sure to keep your stress levels at a minimum. Seek help if the stress feels overwhelming.


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Ways to Reduce Stress




Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Emotional Issues from Child Follow You To Adulthood


Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

Recommended:

Feeling Disrespected by Family?

If Mama Ain't Happy Mental Health Article

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