Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

When your Child is Being Cyberbullied

What To Do If Your Child Is Being Cyberbullied

Your child being bullied is every parent's worst nightmare. Naturally, you want to do whatever you can to stop it and protect your child from the bullies. What will you do when your child is being cyberbullied?

This post contains Amazon affiliate links for your convenience.

Cyberbullying is a concern of recent decades. Cyberbullying plays out online, in texts, and on social media, and takes a different form than physical bullying. This makes cyberbullying far more difficult to monitor and manage. It's a lot easier to spot a child being harassed in a classroom than in their Snapchat messages. How can teachers and parents police kids' cyber-lives? How can you even tell if your child is being cyberbullied? 

Here, we break down a few signs that your child may be the victim of cyberbullying, and what you can do about it. There are loads of groups you can turn to for help, whether you are dealing with Cyberbullying in UAE, America, or elsewhere. If your kid is the cyberbully get help here.



When your Child is Being CyberBullied


Spotting the Signs

There are some common signs that your child is being cyberbullied, including:


1) Nervous, anxious, or jumpy when receiving a text, email, or message on social media, or when using it generally.

2) Very reluctant to tell you about what they do online. 

3) Upset, angry, or stressed after online gaming or another online activity. 

4) Suddenly leaving their console, phone, tablet, or computer after using it, or suddenly closing the device before an activity is completed.

5) Disrupted sleep patterns: Your child struggles to sleep at night and/or has become tired and irritable during the day.

6) Doesn't want to go to school or spend time with friends, and withdraws from family and friends in real life. 

7) Sudden, unexplainable changes in health such as weight gain or loss, change in appetite, headaches, stomachaches.

In particular, be alert for changes in behavior that suggest your child is depressed. Any comments that indicate suicidal feelings are an immediate red flag. 


What You Can Do

Parents often feel powerless when they think or know that their child is being cyberbullied. Bullying is bad enough, but cyberbullying lives in a space that is unfamiliar to many parents and out of their reach to help. Don't worry, there are plenty of options out there for you. 


1) Talk to Your Child

Children often feel embarrassed or ashamed when they are being bullied, cyber or not. Talk to them calmly and just listen to their response. Don't make excuses for the bully or minimize what is happening. Validate your child's feelings and consider how they want this resolved.


2) Take Action

Collect evidence of the cyberbullying - encourage them to take screenshots and save messages, conversations, and emails. If your child's bully goes to their school, the school will be able to deal with the child in question based on the proof you provide. Also take notes of how your child seems at the time of cyberbullying, any background to the bullying, and the views of any witnesses. 

Some cyberbullying can rise to the level of criminality, so you can take it to the police if you believe the bullying is severe. Consider this, particularly if the bullying is based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or disability.


3) Avoid the Bully's Parents

Many parents naturally want to confront the bully's parents, but this is unhelpful. They can become defensive if confronted about their child's actions, which won't help resolve the bullying. Only engage with them if the school or another authority is mediating.


4) Consider Counseling

The effects of bullying can be long-lasting and traumatic. Consider seeking out a counselor for your child as soon as they feel ready. A mental health professional can help them process what they are going through. 


Offer Support

Reassure your child that this bullying will not last forever and the issue will get resolved. Tell them you're there for them no matter what's happening. This will help to bolster their mood while the matter of is worked through. Hopefully, these helpful tips help you feel more comfortable in knowing what to do when your child is being cyberbullied.


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Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Emotional Issues from Child Follow You To Adulthood


Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

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4 Suggestions for Smooth Living with Blended Families

Advice for Blending Families

Blending two families together as one can prove to be challenging, especially when different personalities and needs come into play. With children entering the equation on both sides and different parenting styles suddenly merging, it's important to make sure everyone's feelings, needs and wants are taken into consideration before moving in together. 


Read about one of our contributor’s experiences with Blending Families.


Preparing to live together as a family means discussing finances, making sure everyone has their own space, and/or preparing children for the big change in one way or another. Here are some suggestions for making the transition of becoming a blended family as smooth as possible.


This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.


Advice for Blending Families


1. Hash Out Child-Rearing Approaches

Different attitudes on child rearing can make or break a home. Not everyone has the same parenting style. While some parents are considered "pushovers," allowing their children to get and do whatever they want (with no ability to say "no,") other parents are a bit more disciplined. When two people with different child-rearing approaches come together as one blended family, it can be difficult when an incident occurs with their children.

To keep everyone on the same page, it's important to discuss child-rearing techniques and approaches before you move in together. Indeed, it makes for a much more peaceful home. Remember, children need consistency, so try to address this important issue as soon as possible. You don’t want to have to learn your new partner's child rearing stance the hard way. 


Follow our Parenting Tips board on Pinterest.


2. Ensure Everyone Has Their Own Space

Blending d├ęcor is one of the many challenges facing soon-to-be blended families, but it's completely doable. If it's within your budget, consider letting each child have their own room, which can go a long way in helping smooth out living situations and making sure everyone gets along with each other. It can also help to let your children decorate their own space and put their own stamp on it. This can help them feel a sense of belonging. 

When it comes to designing and outfitting a child's bedroom, consider any number of bedroom sets that show off your children's style and personality. Whether you decide to shop online or head to one of their stores, you'll be able to find all that you need to truly make your new house feel like home for everyone. Be sure to include the child in the process. It’s a fun family experience and can help a new parent bond with their step children.


3. Discuss Your Finances

Before you become a blended family, discuss how you'll manage your finances. Will you keep separate bank accounts and split the bills down the middle? Or, will you have a joint bank account to which you'll each contribute? Think about how you'll handle spending, especially if one partner makes more than the other. It’s always a good idea to keep some finances separate, particularly if you both have full-time careers and are used to spending your money your way. It’s always good to create a joint account for mutual household expenses.

Will one partner need to consult the other before making a large purchase? If so, what amount constitutes a large purchase? Will you have to discuss purchases when it comes to your children or will you have the freedom to decide how you spend your money on them? To avoid arguments in the future, these are some things you should think about before you blend your families together. 


4. Prepare Your Children for the Move

If you want things to go smoothly once the big day arrives, making sure your children are prepared for the move is essential. Let them know ahead of time when and what will happen, so they'll be better equipped to handle the changes ahead. Sit down with your children and discuss the move so they can express their feelings about it.

While you're not exactly asking their permission, it's important to let them know that their feelings and concerns are valid and that you'll help them sort through them if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about their new living situation. Talk about the new routine and let them know you won't love them any less with new children coming into the picture. Be sure to remind them they'll still have a space to call their own- and make sure they do, even if it is a little nook in your dining room!


You might also want to prepare your pets for a life change.


Preparing to Blend Families

Blending families is rarely easy, if ever, but taking the above steps into consideration can help make the transition a bit easier for everyone involved. It also helps keep the peace and ensure everyone is on the same page so that you can work together to create a smooth living situation for the entire family.



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If Mama Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy: The Family Relationship

Family Relationship Challenges


What’s the biggest relationship challenge in your family? How do you keep everything together, day in and day out, day after day? Time commitments, financial responsibilities, and emotional needs of each family member can take a toll on your happiness. Those people pleasers who need to take care of everyone often forget to take care of themselves. In my situation, I never wanted to spend money on personal needs (including health care) if it would take away from things my kids needed or wanted.


For years, we didn’t have health insurance, so any health setback caused major financial problems. I also didn’t take care of myself in other ways. I cut my own hair, never had a manicure until I was fifty years old, wore the same old clothes year after year, never went out to lunch with friends, never even saw my friends, and never indulged in frivolous things that I might want for the house. I considered any of that selfish.



This sponsored post contains Amazon affiliate links. All opinions are my own.



if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy quote song



It’s important to take care of yourself. You’ve probably heard the quote, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain't nobody happy.” I’m sure there’s some truth to this. You can put on a happy face, but if your needs aren’t being met and you have nothing to look forward to, your relationship is going to suffer- even if you're not the one causing the majority of the turmoil. I know it’s difficult. I used to see other women spending too much time on themselves, ignoring the needs of their children. They’d go shopping for themselves several times a month while their children wore clothes they’d outgrown. I never wanted to be like that, but I took it too far the other way. You’ve been there. We don’t have to be martyrs to be mothers. Taking care of yourself, puts you in a better place. You’ll be better equipped to tackle those relationship issues with your partner. Communication is a key factor in the downward spiral of relationships. When communication is poor, everything else becomes difficult.




Eventually, lack of communication breaks the partnership. In my relationship, the more I tried to communicate with my partner, the more difficult the relationship became. There are things couples need to discuss. Things that can’t be swept under the rug. Plans for the future, health of your children, plans to make about family events to attend, even how each of you are feeling about the status of your relationship. When you have a partner who won’t talk to you about any of it, you’ve got a problem that needs fixed. Parents need to keep a united front for their children. They need to work together as a team for the greater good of the family, even if it means sacrificing the personal desires.


For me, self-care felt like a selfish, personal desire because my partner took up all that empty space for himself. He worked all the time or found extra things to do to help others, just to avoid coming home and facing real life problems. These problems ranged from my serious illness where I was bedridden for months, to house repairs, financial responsibilities, and even mental health problems the kids were facing. I couldn’t run off for a haircut or even a doctor’s appointment because there was no safety net. He couldn’t seem to  find an hour to give me a break and if he did, he’d use that hour to sleep - not to watch the kids. So, everywhere I went, I took the kids. Everywhere. 



Check out this old post about a family excursion, see any red flags?



Let me tell you, this is not only unhealthy for you, it’s also unhealthy for your kids. We all need time apart from each other. The kids feel it too. They need options. They need time away from the family.  Sure, we attended homeschool groups, summer camps, special events, 4-H and any other free or low cost activity I could find, but none of it made the pitfalls in our broken family any better. It just kept our mind’s busy enough to make it through another day- or so I thought.


Mama needs time to feel good about herself. Sure, you may think you don’t want to jog or join a walking club. You may think you can cut your own hair to save money for the greater good, you may think a vice here and there, maybe a pint of ice cream or bar of chocolate, are good survival mechanisms, but in the long run, if your always the one making sacrifices life’s not going to turn out like you hoped.


Remember when you started your relationship with your partner? You took care of yourself, you took showers- maybe even relaxing baths, you did your makeup, and bought yourself a flattering outfit. You went out to lunch with your friends. You had dinner dates with your partner and even did activities that you both enjoyed together. You probably even talked about your hopes and dreams for the future. Don’t let yourself get lost in the shuffle.  If it's not too late, fix it. If it is too late, do yourself a favor and try to fix it before throwing in the towel.


Don’t try to wait it out and hope it will get better. There’s no need to feel guilty about taking time for yourself.. If you can’t possibly spare the money or feel like spending money on relationship counseling would set you back financially, there are many affordable online counseling services out there. ReGain is a great place to start. There are  plenty of self-help articles and videos that can kick start your decision making process and help you decide what’s best for your family. 


Going back to school and investing in one's self is also a huge deal for self-confidence and mental stimulation/relaxation. Healthcare-related fields offer great satisfaction and challenge.  Looking at community colleges or schools for certification or insurance coding can be a great first step.


Life balance is important. Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t decide that you must've done something to deserve your current situation. Sometimes, you can’t fix it on your own, sometimes the answer is right in front of you, but the outcome will have unavoidable consequences. On the flip side, sometimes, if you make small changes in your personal life, if you start taking care of yourself and taking pride in your own achievements, everything else will fall into place. Your children won’t suffer from a parent who takes care of themselves, when Mama is happy, there’s a far better chance that everyone else is happy too. Don’t wait until it’s too late. 


Your happy ending is waiting for you.



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Free Online Relationship Counseling

Are you Struggling to get Along with your Family?


For the next series of posts, we're going to stray a little bit from our regular article topics. We often talk about parenting and share advice for parenting teens, but we've rarely talked about the relationship between two parents. Whether you're married, living together, or co-parenting after a separation, that relationship is a key factor in your parenting success. We want to model healthy, mature relationships for our children, but that is often easier said than done, especially, when you throw in all the expenses of raising a family. However, there are online sources that can help with most of life's struggles. If you're looking for free online relationship counseling, we've got your back.



Is it time to take a look in the mirror? Free online relationship counseling.


This post contains Amazon affiliate links.


Is it time to take a look in the mirror?


As you know, we have a series of mommy bloggers who contribute posts to this website, they also help with our Digital Marketing business. As we get new clients,  we sometimes discover that different clients' needs are better suited to one staffer as opposed to another. Sometimes, it's due to work ethic, ability to communicate on a particular topic, or even a staffer's personal passion (or lack thereof)  for a subject. As the editor-in -chief of this website I also have faced conflict of interests, time constraints, or personality clashes with certain clients' content topics. One that particularly comes to mind, is what, at the time, I saw as a lack of interest in the subject matter. 


After working with the client for several weeks, I came to realize it wasn’t a lack of interest that I was facing, but a lack of personal courage. While speaking to the client each week, I enjoyed the conversation and even felt a kindred spirit with her. On the flip side, I dreaded our weekly consultations. I'd find a dozen reasons to put off those weekly calls. I was consulting her on the best way to promote her articles, so calls were a necessary part of the work week. I felt miserable after our calls. I was trying to avoid that feeling. The client was a divorce consultant... 


Every week, she had shiny, new articles to share and we’d discuss the best way to market them. As I read the articles to prep the marketing strategy and create striking image text, I’d become depressed. These articles were hitting home. I soon realized, I was her target demographic. I didn't like the way it made me feel. It was a slap in the face, a weekly reminder that I needed to make a change in my own life.


I also didn’t like that I was broke. I could easily benefit from utilizing her services, but I couldn’t afford it - or wouldn’t. The fee for the program was $1000.  Most of us don’t have the budget for an unexpected $1000 monthly expense. If we do, our budget considers it an emergency fund  for broken water pipes, a new furnace, or other homeowner’s expenses. The kind of things that  you and your partner would share the blow of the expense. “Sorry, Honey,  I used our emergency money for a divorce consultant.” Yeah, that’s not going to go over well for anybody, right? Keeping those kinds of secrets is exactly why you need a relationship consultant. So, most of us suffer in silence, hoping it will all work itself out. It won’t.


Fast forward two and half years later, here I am. Those articles were the catalyst I needed to start the process of removing myself from a very broken relationship. This meant shaking up the lives of many people, making difficult decisions, and hoping that I was doing the right thing. In the end, I made the right choice. Things aren’t easy, life comes at you way too fast, but emotionally, I’m in a much better place. If only I’d taken advantage of other free online marriage counseling or the many online mental health services sooner, I could’ve avoided some issues and been more prepared to help my children deal with the upheaval it placed on their lives. 


We’re still working out the bugs, but all in all, it was the best decision for everyone involved. Sometimes, you just have to step back and evaluate your situation. Change is scary. If three years ago, someone would've told me that I’d own my own home, be responsible for the note on two cars, two houses, and all the other expenses that take their toll on a head of household, be a single parent with two teenagers in public school, and working outside the home, I would’ve told you that you that I couldn’t do it. Me, the advocate for “You can do it!” would’ve said, I’m not strong enough or capable enough to pull off the life of a professional single mother. I would've rather rolled up in a ball and never got out of bed. 


At the time, I didn’t realize that I was depressed. I had a series of health setbacks. I’d become comfortable in my unhappiness. It was a mess, but at least I knew how everyday was going to play out. Ugh. They all played out the same way. There was no hope for the future, only hope to make it through to the next day- to survive another day. My kids had been feeling the same way. Are we all Disney happy now? No, far from it but, even in these trying times, we all have hope for the future. Stay tuned for more on this story.



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Is It Time to Let Your Child Have Their Own Phone?

What Age Should Kid Get Phone?


If your child doesn’t already have their own phone, and they’re at an age when their friends are getting smart phones, no doubt, you'll face endless nagging conversations in the days up to their birthday and the holidays. The peer pressure for kids to get a cellphone is high, and if your child doesn’t have a phone, they may worry about being excluded from their groups or missing out on events (#fomo.) So, is it time to bite the bullet and get your kid the phone they’ve been wanting? It depends, right?

This post contains affiliate links, including Amazon. When you click, we may get a commission.





Average Age
We face this in our family. On the one hand, I don't want to buy an expensive phone that's going to get lost or misplaced. But on the other hand, it would make life easier with after school clubs and activities. Children mature at different rates, each parent has to make their own decisions based on their own child. However, many parents want to know whether their child is ‘too young’ to get a cellphone, or whether they’re being cruel by holding out on this big purchase. According to recent studies, the average age to get a first cellphone is 10.3 years old, which means, by the time kids hit middle school, many of their friends will already have phones. 

Following Rules
Most parenting experts agree, it’s not the age of the child that matters, but more the maturity level and the ability to follow rules around smartphone usage. Before you put the device into your child's hands, you need to set ground rules. Set daily phone usage limits, how much time kids can spend, whether they can take the phone to school, etc.

Did you know, many cellphones have apps that help you keep track of your child’s screen time and ensure they’re not visiting inappropriate websites, but when you give your child a phone, you should be able to trust that they aren't using the phone in a way that will put them in danger. You can use "Google Find My Phone" to keep track of the phone's whereabouts, this can be very helpful when your teen is supposed to be home.

Protecting the Device
Cost is also a big factor when it comes to deciding to buy a cellphone for your child. Unless they’re already at an age where they have a part-time job, it’s another monthly bill for you to cover. You’ll need to ensure you have insurance in case the phone is lost or stolen. It’s worth looking for BodyGuardz iPhone 7 Plus cases too, just in case of any drops or knocks, so you aren’t stuck with a big phone repair bill. 

Ensuring Screen-free Time
One problem with giving children cellphones is that it’s harder to enforce screen-free times if they have their own device. If your kids go to the park with friends or hang out in their room, they’ll likely be glued to their phone.
When it comes to homework, studies have shown that simply having a phone in the room ruins a child's concentration, so you may need to watch out for slipping grades too. Consider enforcing cellphone usage times, say between 8 am and 10 pm, so your kids aren’t up all night surfing the internet or watching YouTube. When it’s time to do homework or sit down for dinner, place all phones in a basket out of sight, so there’s no temptation to fiddle with the phone and ruin family time.

Getting your first cellphone is a rite of passage in the digital age, but as a parent, it’s up to you to decide when the time is right for your child, and whether they can understand the responsibilities that come with this pricey gift. 
No matter what you decide, you'll have to deal with teen angst that will surely stress you out. We're right there with you. Got questions? Leave a comment and we'll try to help!


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Homeschooling Advice from Becky Hunt

Homeschooling Advice 


This guest post on homeschooling advice is by Becky Hunt from Experienced Mommy. Becky has homeschooled four kids (including one with special needs) for the past 20 years. Listen up!
This post contains affiliate links.
https://jumpermedia.co/story-highlights-how-to-get-more-ig-story-views-12-tips-ideas-to-make-better-stories-now-that-they-last-longer/

In case no one ever told you, homeschooling comes with making a lot of decisions.

Some moms are super-fast decision makers. They do a little research. They pick a book or a curriculum, or a study group, they buy stuff and BANG they are done.

No regret, no second guessing, no wringing the hands, no worry that they are going to ruin their kid forever.

Except I don’t actually know any of those moms.

I’m not saying every homeschooling mom friend of mine is a basket case, but let’s just say the vast majority of moms, especially those just getting started, do way too much stressing out.

My Story
I have a special needs daughter, Anna, who is 17 but operates at more of a one-and-a-half-year-old level. She is a category all her own and will always keep the nest full.

But I also have two boys and a girl, all three of which I homeschooled from kindergarten through 12th grade. My oldest son and daughter graduated from Purdue and my younger son is still studying there.

I assembled my own curriculum, didn’t do too much in the way of co-ops or groups, changed things up for each child, and generally made my own way.

The kids all got good scholarships, test scores, etc. and are doing just fine.

But it doesn’t matter how I did it.

The choices you end up making are a lot less important than the process you use to make them. And the key thing about the process is learning to RELAX!

The kids are going to be fine. You aren’t going to sabotage their futures and lives and jobs by choosing A instead of B or X instead of Y.

And that brings me to the first thing you need to relax about:

Relax About Curriculum
Yeah, you have to cover the three R’s, Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic, and yes, you need to work in whatever your state requires especially in high school.

But other than that, don’t sweat it!

Pick something that looks good, that fits with your direction and world view, and relax.

There is no magic prescription for the perfect education. How many expert educators would agree on a curriculum? Um, none.

Education is a long, long term process where we are exposing our kids to principles, ideas, facts and the world.

It is no simplification to say that all we are really trying to do is teach our kids to think. We are teaching them a process for learning.

That’s why the material itself isn’t that crucial. We are basically saying “here are some books and videos and projects: we are going to interact with this pile of stuff.”

We are going to:


  • Figure out what the books want us to do
  • Understand what the benefit of the content is
  • Learn how to get the important parts out of it
  • Learn how to skip over the stuff we don’t care about

And each time we go through a course or topic, our minds get better at learning, and that’s the whole point.

Which is also why the coverage isn’t the most important thing.

Relax About Coverage
Lots of text books have 50 chapters and I know so many moms who are stressed every week because their kid didn’t make through the 1.4 chapters necessary to get done by the end of the year.

But if education is about the process of learning, it just doesn’t matter whether you cover all 50 chapters.

What difference does it make if you plow through 10 extra chapters but the kid only remembers 5% of it and everybody is at each other’s throats the whole time?

If you are obsessed over getting a certain score on a standardized test, and the test has stuff on it your kid has never seen before, you have to have a plan for that. But you still relax and chill and be strategic at the same time.

Relax About Milestones
My kids didn’t start writing papers until they were in 5th or 6th grade. Turns out that was perfectly fine. It gave them a chance to have hundreds of really great books read out loud and discussed with them.

Kids don’t have know the alphabet, read, write or do algebra by a certain age. Relax. It will be fine. They will get it when they need to get it.

Not only will they eventually get it, they’ll learn better when they are ready for it.

Relax About the End Results
I wanted it all. I wanted my kids to excel academically, be well rounded individuals and get great jobs. But most importantly I wanted them to become men and women of character who love God and are kind, honest and unselfish.

Credentials flow from character.

And kids learn character from how you behave not from what you say.

So how do you relax about a big list of goals and dreams you have for your kids?

Well that’s a tough one, but you just have to realize that the end results will come from a steady, consistent relationship that you have with your children over a period of years.

You will sit with them, love them, fight and make up with them, learn with them, learn how to learn with them and persevere when you are tired and want to ship them off to school.

And it will all work out. The kids will be fine.

Just relax. - Becky Hunt - Learn more about Becky.

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