Showing posts with label healthy family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy family. Show all posts

Healthy Family Advice

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The last few articles have been on the subject of mental health and the breakup of the family unit. As the family situation changes, so do the matters of family concern. Of course, how you deal with these changes affect the future mental health of your children, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. As mentioned in a previous article, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” My advice is this, self-care is a key element to a happy, healthy family, but be careful, don't over do it.

                                                  This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.

healthy relationships how to get along self care  quote


If you’ve come off a long-term, unhealthy relationship, chances are you’ve been neglecting self-care. Self-care is key to your happiness. Newly separated or divorced individuals might choose to jump out into the dating scene. At first, it's exciting and new. If you've been in a bad situation, going out on dates and having fun can feel like self-care, but you need to be careful that all that good time fun having doesn’t lead to an even more unhealthy rebound relationship. Just like our children, we need to make healthy choices.

Practice being alone. I can’t emphasize this enough. Spend time alone. As much time as it takes for you to get over the pain. And as much time as you need to grow as a person. Learn from your mistakes and take care of yourself.  As I age, I see intelligent women jumping into relationships. Perhaps, they’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Maybe they’ve never held a full-time job. Some never had the chance to go to college. They’ve never managed their own finances. Often, they feel like they just can’t handle the responsibilities of taking care of themselves and their children. So, they go out on a man hunt. The goal is to find a better man than the last one. Some are looking for a man to meet their financial expectations, others are looking for companionship, and some are looking for a father figure for their children. Whatever the reason, they jump into a relationship too soon. Been there done that. 


Healthy Family


I got married while still in college. It was okay. Just okay. I wanted to be happy, but we were young and a lot was missing in the relationship. At that point in my life, the idea of a wedding was more important than the idea of a marriage. We were friends and companions struggling to find common ground, but something was always missing. Both of us had placed our focus on gaining knowledge and prepping for a career and little attention was given to intimacy. As starving college students, there was no money for fun things and then we jumped into buying a house, and then another house, and then it all just got way too overwhelming. There was simply no fun to be had.

Eventually, we talked to friends, family, and clergy. We attended counseling. It all pointed to the same thing, we just didn’t have the same goals or the same outlook on life. We ended the relationship in an amicable fashion. And that’s when my real troubles started. I briefly dated, but playing the field has never been my thing. Dating in your late 20’s is an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Ugh. It’s a brave new world. With my thirtieth birthday looming over my head, I really wanted to settle down and start a family before it was too late. I had some great men to choose from, two were truly amazing with interesting careers. One was neither amazing, nor did he have a great career. He was lucky to hold down a job. But he had what I wanted. A little girl. My family doctor and the counselor both advised against any serious relationship or even dating after the first year of a breakup, but my biological clock was ticking. Tick tock. Having been told I likely could never have children, I jumped at the chance. 

However, that wasn’t the only thing. He was fun. Oh so fun! He loved to dance, hike, bike, play sports, cook, and clean. One day, he called me one of the “cools.” I had been feeling lost. I was never cool. I wanted to do all those things I felt I’d missed out on in high school and college. Except I didn’t. I was still that goody two shoes inside. His risky lifestyle stressed me out. We fought. Among other things, he drank. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. It was like a dark movie from one of those cable tv channels for women. That was my first rebound.

After that, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pick myself up again. I had a lot of counseling. I saw a psychiatrist. I took various medications. Was I suicidal? Not really, but it seemed like life had gotten the best of me. I felt like a failure in every way imaginable. No kids, no career to speak of, and no real chance to recover from all the despair because, in my head, I was old. Oh, so old. I turned to online dating. It was uplifting to have so many men interested in dating me. It was also terrifying. That was the start of rebound number two. Not only did I not wait a year to date, in only a few short months I had moved in with a man and was pregnant. At the time, it seemed like he had everything I wanted. A good job, two kids, pets, a nice home. He was a widower and that (like the alcoholism before him) fulfilled my need for codependency. I had something to do, people to take care of, and dreams to fulfill. Except, we were less compatible than the previous rebound relationship. Shortly after my son was born, I became pregnant again.

Things weren’t ideal, but I always questioned myself. Why not? Maybe I was the problem. I should’ve been content. I was determined to make it work. I mean, after all, he wasn’t abusing me. He yelled a lot. It triggered old feelings from the previous relationship. I cried a lot. It made him mad. I cried more. It was an endless cycle. We barely knew each other. We met online. We were both lonely. As it came to be that he was my only friend for many years, we were really never friends. We both tried. The harder I tried, the more difficult it got. And now, there were kids involved. I didn’t want to break up the family unit. I didn’t want my kids to come from a broken home. Ugh, the damage I did to all of us by trying to stick this one out. We were the absolute opposite of compatible. I will spare you the gory details.

I had so many health issues. I spent months in bed, with nothing more to do than reflect on my past. I knew it had to end. But I was scared. Could I do it alone? Was I strong enough? I started stepping up my game, working harder from home, seeing various specialists and improving my health, and building credit. Once I knew what had to be done, I still wasn’t ready to do it. Things finally worked out in a way that made ending the relationship the most logical decision. It was difficult, but I didn’t need to seek counseling. I threw myself into my work, my writing, and the remodeling of my new house.

After years of thinking about it, deep down, I knew if I were ever to have another relationship again, I’d have to be strong. I’d have to take care of myself first, I’d need a break. I wrote down the pros and cons of dating. Months passed. I thought about what I wanted. What I needed, who I wanted and why. I realized I didn’t need a man to be happy. But I wanted that companionship that had eluded me for most of my life.


Why it's okay to Need a Man


It was always the same set of traits that had always led me to the same conclusion. But, I didn’t want to make the wrong choice with the right choice. So, naively, I  attempted to play the field again, but I didn’t date. I just talked. I talked to several old friends and acquaintances. This time no online dating, no strangers. I weaned them all out. I settled on one for an attempt at dating. We talked for weeks before meeting in person. I knew him from high school. He seemed to fit the criteria. But low and behold, it was a mistake. A big mistake, but one I wanted to cling to because I was sad and lonely. I had basically given up. I was about to turn fifty. There was no more time for mistakes. If I thought dating in my late twenties was hard - whoa. In your fifties, it’s a whole new frontier. Casual dating wasn’t an option for me. 

I took a few weeks to get myself together. I pulled out my list again, and this time, I realized what I always needed had always been there. Sometimes, you just need a friend.


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Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Emotional Issues from Child Follow You To Adulthood


Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

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4 Suggestions for Smooth Living with Blended Families

Advice for Blending Families

Blending two families together as one can prove to be challenging, especially when different personalities and needs come into play. With children entering the equation on both sides and different parenting styles suddenly merging, it's important to make sure everyone's feelings, needs and wants are taken into consideration before moving in together. 


Read about one of our contributor’s experiences with Blending Families.


Preparing to live together as a family means discussing finances, making sure everyone has their own space, and/or preparing children for the big change in one way or another. Here are some suggestions for making the transition of becoming a blended family as smooth as possible.


This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.


Advice for Blending Families


1. Hash Out Child-Rearing Approaches

Different attitudes on child rearing can make or break a home. Not everyone has the same parenting style. While some parents are considered "pushovers," allowing their children to get and do whatever they want (with no ability to say "no,") other parents are a bit more disciplined. When two people with different child-rearing approaches come together as one blended family, it can be difficult when an incident occurs with their children.

To keep everyone on the same page, it's important to discuss child-rearing techniques and approaches before you move in together. Indeed, it makes for a much more peaceful home. Remember, children need consistency, so try to address this important issue as soon as possible. You don’t want to have to learn your new partner's child rearing stance the hard way. 


Follow our Parenting Tips board on Pinterest.


2. Ensure Everyone Has Their Own Space

Blending décor is one of the many challenges facing soon-to-be blended families, but it's completely doable. If it's within your budget, consider letting each child have their own room, which can go a long way in helping smooth out living situations and making sure everyone gets along with each other. It can also help to let your children decorate their own space and put their own stamp on it. This can help them feel a sense of belonging. 

When it comes to designing and outfitting a child's bedroom, consider any number of bedroom sets that show off your children's style and personality. Whether you decide to shop online or head to one of their stores, you'll be able to find all that you need to truly make your new house feel like home for everyone. Be sure to include the child in the process. It’s a fun family experience and can help a new parent bond with their step children.


3. Discuss Your Finances

Before you become a blended family, discuss how you'll manage your finances. Will you keep separate bank accounts and split the bills down the middle? Or, will you have a joint bank account to which you'll each contribute? Think about how you'll handle spending, especially if one partner makes more than the other. It’s always a good idea to keep some finances separate, particularly if you both have full-time careers and are used to spending your money your way. It’s always good to create a joint account for mutual household expenses.

Will one partner need to consult the other before making a large purchase? If so, what amount constitutes a large purchase? Will you have to discuss purchases when it comes to your children or will you have the freedom to decide how you spend your money on them? To avoid arguments in the future, these are some things you should think about before you blend your families together. 


4. Prepare Your Children for the Move

If you want things to go smoothly once the big day arrives, making sure your children are prepared for the move is essential. Let them know ahead of time when and what will happen, so they'll be better equipped to handle the changes ahead. Sit down with your children and discuss the move so they can express their feelings about it.

While you're not exactly asking their permission, it's important to let them know that their feelings and concerns are valid and that you'll help them sort through them if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about their new living situation. Talk about the new routine and let them know you won't love them any less with new children coming into the picture. Be sure to remind them they'll still have a space to call their own- and make sure they do, even if it is a little nook in your dining room!


You might also want to prepare your pets for a life change.


Preparing to Blend Families

Blending families is rarely easy, if ever, but taking the above steps into consideration can help make the transition a bit easier for everyone involved. It also helps keep the peace and ensure everyone is on the same page so that you can work together to create a smooth living situation for the entire family.



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6 Ways to Help Teens Lead Healthy Lives

Are you Ready to Show your Teenagers Healthy Habits?


If you’ve got a teen in the family, it can be challenging to get them to do anything. Encouraging them to lead a healthy lifestyle is an important foundation for their future adult years. Habits teens develop when they’re young can be beneficial to your teen for a lifetime. One of the best ways to influence your teen is to lead by example. Teens don’t usually take being told what to do very well. So what lifestyle choices can YOU adopt in the hope that they rub off on your teenage children?




6 Ways to Help Teens Lead Healthy Lives


  • Eat Less Meat and More Fruit and Vegetables

The recommendation is that you eat at least five servings of fruit and vegetables every day. For many teens, this can be a difficult goal to achieve. You can help by leaving processed foods and snacks off your grocery list and making more meals and snacks at home. It also helps to set regular mealtimes and eat meals together as a family. We've been doing this the last year or so. Now, my kids prefer oranges to donuts!

  • Exercise More

There are many benefits to regular exercise, not just the burning of calories. Physical activity also helps to keep the heart and lungs strong and produces endorphins. These are the chemicals that improve mood, which is always going to be good for a moody teen. Ideally, exercise should include a good balance of aerobic, strength and flexibility training. 60 minutes of vigorous exercise every day should be the goal for your teen to get them on track to lead a healthy lifestyle in the future.

  • Moderate Your Drinking Habits

It’s important for teens to stay hydrated, especially if they participate in sports. Ideally, aim for six to eight glasses of water per day. Fruit juice is good along with low-fat milk. However, you should limit your teenager's intake of  sugary and caffeinated drinks as they have little nutritional value and just provide excess sugar and empty calories. Don't forget to limit your intake too!

  • Introduce a Ditch the Gadgets Day

Is your teen glued to their smartphone most of the day? Did you know there is a condition known as social media addiction? You could introduce a ditch the gadgets day in your family and see how that goes. Alternatively, if you’re worried about your teen's social media obsession, there is professional treatment for teen social media addiction that can help. if you want to know more, please visit igniteteentreatment.com 

  • Set a Regular Sleep Schedule

Eight to ten hours sleep is the optimum amount of sleep for a teen, for teens to function at their best during the day. It sounds like an achievable goal but when you factor in homework and other activities, together with the early morning school start, getting enough sleep can be challenging. Set a regular schedule and encourage your teens to have at least an hour of quiet time before going to bed. It also helps if electronic gadgets are switched off for the night. You too, Mom.

  • Help Them Manage Stress

Being a teen can be very stressful, and teens don’t always know how to deal with their stressful lifestyles. The tips mentioned above are very beneficial, together with distractions, relaxation exercises, and talking. Being a positive role mode for your teen l is another way to teach teens stress management techniques.

Being a teen isn’t always easy, but with love and support from their family, teens can lead a healthy lifestyle and have a brighter future.  So can you! Are you ready to lead by example?



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This post contains Amazon affiliate links. 

Adopting Healthy Lifestyles as a Family

Everyone in the Family should Live Healthy Lifestyles to Insure a Better Quality of Life



Living a healthy lifestyle is something that many people aspire to do. It's difficult to adopt a healthy lifestyle and keep up the routine. However, if the entire family lives a healthy lifestyle, it's easier to maintain and insure your health goals. Perhaps you have a job that takes up a lot of your time, or you're too busy with volunteer work, school, or anything else that life throws at you. No matter the reason, you need to make the time to become healthy and set a good example for your children.

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links for your convenience.


Tips on Adopting Healthy Lifestyles as a Family



You're the only one that can change your everyday habits for the better, but it can be much easier to do if everyone in the family acknowledges the importance of healthy living. If our children learn from a young age what it means to eat healthy meals and exercise, they'll take that knowledge with them into adulthood as well.

Why should everyone in the family live healthy lifestyles? When you start living a healthy lifestyle at an early age, it becomes second nature. As you age, you'll be ready to adapt to lifestyle changes that will continue to improve your health and you won't get stuck in those addictive unhealthy habits that can lead to obesity and other chronic illnesses which can be a downer when you're searching for term life insurance quotes. Another added benefit of a healthy lifestyle is the opportunity to enjoy the time with your grandkids as an active participant rather than an inactive observer.


Tips on how to achieve a healthy lifestyle together as a family:



Kids Learn from Their Parents
Kids look at parents as their role models, which is why it's paramount that parents do their part and teach their children about what it means to live a healthy lifestyle. Whether it’s eating healthy and nutritious meals, or the importance of staying active, you can always make a difference in the type of habits that your children adopt.


Use it as an Opportunity to Spend Time Together
Living a healthy life as a family gives everyone an opportunity to spend quality time together. Be mindful and add these tips to insure better healthy lifestyle results for your efforts.


1. Exercise

Rather than exercising alone, go for a walk outside with your family members. This also gives you an opportunity to properly talk to one another. It's a great way to bring up those difficult conversations you've been meaning to get started but never seem to find the time to do. Get fit with these fitness gift ideas.


2. Weekend road trips

Don't forget about road trips with kids This is the perfect opportunity for everyone to destress and improve mental health while enjoying some family fun, making lasting memories together, and insuring that your bond is strong. Road trips are also a great way to get to know each better. Share happy stories of your childhood, but remember to stay away from difficult subjects or anything stressful.


A Future Health Routine
It’s important to find a routine that everyone in the family will benefit from. If you plan on being active, why not do it while everyone is together? Plus, the activities your children pursue from a young age will impact their future, as well.

When your kids are grown up and they're young adults, who is to say that they'll not end up becoming personal trainers, physiotherapists, yoga instructions or something else that is a result of the activities they participated in as a family when they were younger? Often kids who sign up for football and discover a passion for it end up wanting to pursue this in the future, whether as a hobby or a potential career.


The same can be said for other jobs that are considered health and wellness careers. Of course, this is all based on a person's individual personality and what they enjoy doing. Perhaps you found an interest in personal training as a result of working with a trainer to improve your health. That might lead to a career change.


Don’t forget that no matter what you choose to do in the future, you'll have to acquire the necessary qualifications that allow you to make a career out of your health and wellness lifestyle. This is the case for those interested in personal training, for example, they can complete an online fitness course Leicester in order to get certified, making it an easy way to get educated on healthy lifestyle fitness careers. Keep in mind that different career paths will require different steps. Some will require certifications, some will require degrees.


Adopting a healthy lifestyle as a family is a win-win situation. Of course, you want the best for your family. So why not prioritize adopting healthy habits as a family into your daily routine? This will improve your quality of life, both in the short and long-term, improve your chance of obtaining affordable health insurance, and likely get you the best possible term life insurance quotes. You'll find yourself saving money on bad habits, insurance, and feeling much happier as a result of it all! These simple lifestyle changes can bring your family closer together. As always, I know you can do it!



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What is Sepsis?

Is it Sepsis? Don't Wait to Find Out.



This is a post prepared under a contract funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and written on behalf of the Mom It Forward Influencer Network for use in CDC’s Get Ahead of Sepsis educational effort. Opinions on this blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of CDC.


What is Sepsis?
Sepsis is the body’s extreme response to an infection. It is life-threatening, and without timely treatment, sepsis can rapidly cause tissue damage, organ failure, and death. Sepsis happens when an infection you already have—in your skin, lungs, urinary tract or somewhere else—triggers a chain reaction throughout your body. This could include small skin infections from a bug bite, a burn, or any injury to the skin.


what is sepsis?


For yourself, and as a caregiver, it is important to know the signs and symptoms of sepsis. If you or someone you love has a chronic medical condition, such as an autoimmune disease, you need to pay special attention to infections that aren't improving.


Anyone can get an infection, and almost any infection can lead to sepsis. Certain people are at higher risk:


  • Adults 65 or older
  • People with chronic medical conditions, such as diabetes, lung disease, cancer, and kidney disease
  • People with weakened immune system
  • Children younger than one

    We've often shared about our personal struggles with a “bad” diabetic. Bad refers to the fact that he won't go see a doctor. The typical excuse is that he doesn't have time, he doesn't have insurance, or he just doesn't like hospitals. It's frustrating and upsetting to the family. Not just our immediate family with young children, but to his older children, his parents, my parents, and anyone who cares about him.


    I knew that diabetics had an increased risk of skin infections in the legs and feet, but I wasn't aware of the signs and symptoms of sepsis.


    So, I'm warning and begging all of you who have loved ones, (that's every one of you) please be aware of the signs and symptoms of sepsis. Sepsis is life-threatening and without timely treatment sepsis can rapidly cause tissue damage, organ failure, and death. Time matters.


    Know the signs and symptoms of sepsis


    Sepsis signs and symptoms can include one or a combination of the following:


    • Confusion or disorientation
    • Shortness of breath
    • High heart rate
    • Fever, or shivering, or feeling very cold
    • Extreme pain or discomfort
    • Clammy or sweaty skin


    Knowing the signs and symptoms of sepsis can save lives. Get Ahead of Sepsis encourages patients, their caregivers, and healthcare professionals to know the risks, spot the signs and symptoms, and act fast when they suspect sepsis.







    Sepsis is a medical emergency. If you or your loved one suspects sepsis or has an infection that's not getting better or is getting worse, ask your doctor or nurse, "Could this infection be leading to sepsis?"


    To learn more about sepsis and how to prevent infections, visit www.cdc.gov/sepsis.


    For more information about antibiotic prescribing and use, visit www.cdc.gov/antibiotic-use.