What is Hoarding Disorder?

 

What can you do when someone suffers from hoarding disorder?

Have you ever joked about a friend being a hoarder because their desk is covered in papers, or their home is cluttered? Hoarding is a real issue for some people, and it is very distressing. At first, a lot of hoarders don't notice the issue and they probably can't see how it’s affecting their lifestyle or worrying their loved ones. If they do recognize the problem, hoarders might feel embarrassed and isolated from friends and family. So, what is hoarding disorder, and how can you help someone who suffers from it?

Hoarding Disorder and Causes

Hoarding disorder is when an individual keeps a lot of things, no matter what the value of these items.They could have anything from broken appliances to old newspapers stored away in their homes leaving their home untidy, dirty, and a generally unpleasant space to be in.

A person with hoarding disorder feels upset or anxious about getting rid of the clutter because they've often formed a strong emotional attachment to these objects, particularly if the hoarded item represents something sentimental to them. Several mental health issues can be connected to hoarding disorder: severe depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis. If the person with hoarding disorder has recently gone through a difficult period in life, such as the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, or another traumatic event, this may serve as a catalyst for developing the disorder.

Hoarders often find comfort in collecting and saving items for future use. Of course, hoarding disorder can happen to anyone, but it isn’t uncommon for hoarding to develop in people who live alone or grew up in an untidy environment.

What Can You Do About It?

Hoarding disorder is when an individual keeps a lot of things, no matter what the value of these items.They could have anything from broken appliances to old newspapers stored away in their homes leaving their home untidy, dirty, and a generally unpleasant space to be in. 

A person with hoarding disorder feels upset or anxious about getting rid of the clutter because they've often formed a strong emotional attachment to these objects, particularly if the hoarded item represents something sentimental to them.

Several mental health issues can be connected to hoarding disorder: severe depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis. If the person with hoarding disorder has recently gone through a difficult period in life, such as the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, or another traumatic event, this may serve as a catalyst for developing the disorder. Hoarders often find comfort in collecting and saving items for future use. Of course, hoarding disorder can happen to anyone, but it isn’t uncommon for hoarding to develop in people who live alone or grew up in an untidy environment.

Since hoarding is linked to mental health, typical treatments include CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and counseling to identify the root cause of the hoarding. If the hoarding is associated with depression, antidepressant medication might be prescribed and allow for some relief.

If you're concerned that a loved one has a hoarding disorder, gently suggest that they visit the GP with you. Remember, a lot of people with this disorder don't recognize that there's a problem. Others may feel embarrassed, so be patient with them. Let them know that you care and that you are there for them whenever they feel overwhelmed or when they're ready to talk about their circumstances.

When a hoarder is ready to deal with the issue and start organizing their home, you might also need professional services to help. Hoarder clean up services are specialists in dealing with these situations and understand how emotional and difficult it can be for the individuals who suffer with the disorder. A clean up service will also be able to deep-clean the property to make it a safe, healthy living environment for your loved one. While people might joke about being a hoarder, for many people, this is a serious issue that impacts their daily lives. If you're concerned that you or someone you love has developed a hoarding disorder, speak to mental health professionals for further advice on what steps you need to take.

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Protect your Teen from Mental Health Disorders
Suffering from Emotional Issues?

How to Help Protect Your Teen From Mental Health Disorders

Keeping Teens Safe

From their very first days, your mission as a parent has been to keep your children safe from harm. This involves taking proactive steps to ensure their safety and make sure they grow to understand the potential for negative consequences to their actions. It's so hard to know how to help protect your teen from mental health disorders. Protecting your children from harm is a lifelong job.

Like many parents, you likely sought to accomplish this goal by teaching them good eating habits and how totake care of themselves physically. However, the mental challenges that children face, particularly when they

transition into their teenage years, might not have been on your radar quite as much.

It can be difficult for parents to understand the mental struggles that teenagers face in this day and age. Today, teens face a great deal of pressure to live up to a certain archetype and work hard to set themselves up for future success. That being said, from a mental and physical standpoint, teenagers are still developing, leaving them to face such pressures before they even really know who they are or what they want to do with their lives.

As a parent, the best thing that you can do for your teen is take a proactive stance on mental health. With mental health conditions on the rise in young people, and more and more teenagers turning to self-harm and even suicide, it is important for parents to step in and help teens to navigate the burden of this stage of their lives. If you're the parent of a teen, here are a few ways you can seek to protect your teens from developing a mental health condition.

Educate Yourself

First and foremost, the best thing you can do to help your teen avoid developing a mental health condition is

to educate yourself. Learning about the prevalent mental health conditions in teenagers and how to detect

early signs that an issue might be at play can go a long way to stopping the progression of a mental health

condition before things get out of hand.

It's also a good idea to learn about the treatment options available to teens who struggle with mental health disorders. Resources on specific conditions like anorexia and bulimia can be found at edentreatment.com Acquiring information from your family care physician can help you to learn more about the internal struggles that your teen might be facing.

Create a Positive Environment

With busy work and school weekdays, it can be difficult to make time for meaningful conversationsand time together as a family. However, one of the things parents can do to help teens avoid mental health

issues is to work to create a positive and safe environment. Checking in with your teen and leaving the door open for communication is key. Promote a positive sense of self and provide your teen with positive affirmation which can help combat outside pressures to change or act in a certain way that may not align with their personal ethics and morals. Positivity and a happy home life go a long way in helping children cope during the teen years.

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Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

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Teen Angst

Feeling Disrespected by Family

Do you often feel cast aside and disrespected by family members?

Are you feeling disrespected in your relationships? Most of us feel disrespected at times, even when no one really means to show us disrespect. Parenting is hard, but being the mom is harder. Society puts pressure on moms to always do the right thing, to put on a happy face, and never to let the family see that you’re human too. How do you know when you’re just feeling emotional versus when the disrespect is out of control? Feeling disrespected by family stifles good vibes, what can you do?

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't quote.

 This sponsored post contains Amazon affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

 

Kids will be kids. But when teenagers behave like teenagers, family relationships can get difficult. When do you choose your battle, when do you ignore the emotional roller coaster, and when do you jump on the parenting train to try to fix it? Is it just a phase or are they modeling the behavior of another family member? If your partner is disrespectful, chances are your kids will be too. Not sure if your partner has crossed the line? ReGain has a very eye-opening article that can help you decide.

Get my Debut Novel: Allegedly Mystic

If your kids are suffering from the effects of your relationship, they may act out or become depressed. Children, especially teens, get frustrated by their lack of control over their life situations. Sometimes they feel like the situation is hopeless- no matter how hard you try to work with them. I’ve been down this road more than once. It doesn’t get any easier with practice. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and be prepared to be the bad guy no matter what you say. The old adage, “You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t,” starts to feel like the title of your life.

When I split with my partner of fifteen years, we all suffered with depression and the fear of the unknown. As a parent, watching your children suffer is painful. No matter how much you want to help, your help may not be the answer. Public school counselors can often help zero in on issues like adhd, autism, depression, suicidal tendencies, or other emotional issues. If you’re a homeschooler, finding an affordable counselor isn’t as easy. There are many online resources. This article might help a teen who is fighting to hold back tears when they’re feeling frustrated or angry: Why do I cry when I’m Mad?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this article from GoodTherapy shares a list of teen help hotlines and other free mental health resources. Your pediatrician can also do a depression evaluation survey, and based on the results, refer you to a family counselor. Many family therapists operate on a sliding scale. 

Articles on Autism

After the upheaval in our family, the kids and I moved to our happy place. A little cottage on a quiet lake, where we could swim, kayak, and birdwatch to our heart’s content. The first few weeks we kept our minds busy by remodeling the house, but after a while reality set in, and we decided to try family counseling. No one really enjoyed it, we had to make some sacrifices to find an affordable therapist which ended up being an hour from home. By the time we got off the waiting list, much of the family dynamic had changed and the diagnosis was changed from severe depression to adhd. The counselor had to have a diagnosis for our insurance to continue to pay, but it didn’t really seem to fit our circumstances.

With other members of the family with adhd, we had some prior experience dealing with the ups and downs, and this really wasn’t the same thing. It was nice to have a neutral party listen to our problems, but it wasn’t really worth the trouble. It caused more stress on an already stressed relationship, because the kids didn’t want to go and the family dynamic continued to play out. I know that sounds counterintuitive. I know that I’m the parent and I shouldn’t let the kids overrule me, but believe me, this wasn’t good for any of us. At the time, an online therapy option would’ve been ideal. 

Finally, the best solution for our family came through the advice of our pediatrician, the kids needed their own life. They needed more activities that they enjoyed. Sure, we did homeschool groups, 4-H, and summer camps, but it wasn’t enough. My kids were at a place in their lives where they needed more, even if they didn’t want more. They also needed less. Less time with mom, less time with each other. We all needed some space to help distance ourselves from the previous situation.

The biggest battle we faced was a lack of real relationships. There were no close relationships so that the kids could see healthy family behaviors modeled. We lived over an hour away from any relatives, so extended family time was few and far between. It was definitely time for a major change. After some heartfelt conversations with the pediatrician, relatives, and close friends, we decided our life needed an overhaul. The biggest piece of the puzzle that we all longed for was a sense of belonging. So we packed our bags and moved back to my hometown where we could be closer to family that would provide a support network as we all stepped out into the real world for the first time in years. I took a part-time job as an activity assistant at a retirement home and the kids both enrolled in public school. Talk about change! Change is scary, but sometimes we need a catalyst to set our lives in the right direction. All of these changes have led me to a wonderful opportunity with our local Habitat for Humanity. Look for more updates in coming posts.

 

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Preparing Teens for Life after High School

How Your Teen Can Prepare for Post-High School

Your teen has spent the majority of their childhood getting an education. Deciding what they're going to do post-high school is often a challenge. However, to ensure that the senior year is less daunting than they expect and that they're ready for whatever the world throws at them, here are some of basic ways to prepare teens for things to come.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

Look at College Options

Around 67% of high school graduates enrolled in college in 2017, and so it's extremely likely that your teen is looking at college as a viable future option. While this is an important stepping stone toward their careers, it's vital that they spend time considering the right college options. 

Boost Grades

To do this, you should consider looking at Cornell University GPA requirements on CampusReel, among others, as this will help your teen find a college where their application is likely to be accepted. You should also take them to open days and apply for brochures that can help your teen find out what each college can offer them.

Take AP or Honors Classes

If your teen wants to stretch themselves academically and be in a good position for the level and type of learning that college offers, consider enrolling them in AP and Honors classes. Not only will these types of classes assimilate the types of projects that they'll commit to at college, but they can also help boost their qualifications and grades so that they can apply for higher ranking colleges and job positions in the future.

Visit Their School’s Career Team

One of the benefits of establishing your teen’s plan for the future while they're still at high school is they will have access to their school’s career team, who can help them plot their goals and long-term dreams. Not only can the team discuss a number of careers with your teen, but they'll also be able to give high school students advice for their college applications and help them find future work experience within the job sector holds their interest. Our local college career center offers things like: building trades, welding, nursing, childcare, broadcasting, and graphic design.

Study online to get a certificate in Early Childhood Education.

Get a Part-Time Job

Is your teen lacking in real-world experience? If you're concerned about how your teen will cope with their sudden entry into the real world, you should consider encouraging them to take on a part-time job. Not only will this force them to improve their time management skills by having to balance this job with their studies, but it will also allow them to boost many of the necessary skills for adulthood, such as independence and communication. It also allows them to experience working for and learning to follow the rules of other adults. So, it can change their attitude toward following your intstructions too.

Study for Exams

However, the most important thing your teen should do before they leave high school is study for exams, which gets them in a good position for their future, whether they want to go to college or go straight into the world of work. To help teenagers achieve their full potential, there are many resources online that can help teens study and excel at their end of high school tests. CLEP tests are great tests for college.

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YA Book Series Angels Supernatural: Allegedly Mystic

Allegedly Mystic YA Fiction Aurora Series Book One

Allegedly Mystic. It's finally here! If you're a long time reader of this blog, you know I've been talking about it for years. In the early stages, I even published some chapters here to get help with crowd editing and story line content.  (Those have since been removed.) This is the first in a YA Book Series about angels and all things supernatural. Read on for the book blurb and to see how you can read it for free. 

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

Check out my Amazon Author Page, Lora Langston, and follow along there.

Get the paperback version of Allegedly Mystic on Amazon.

“Ugly people argue. When I feel ugly, things get ugly around me. I always want to run and hide in a bathtub. Unfortunately, the school frowns on unusual behaviors like that. My school counselor says I walk the halls with the grace of Snuffleupagus and the air of Pig Pen. Apparently, a cloud of woe surrounds me in typical Eeyore fashion.

Troubled kids who cause their parents shame, stress, or miserable pain often get shipped off to some kind of camp. Maybe Fat Camp, Betty Ford, or a Funny Farm? I could never be so lucky.  

Where’s a bathtub when you really need one? “

_____________________________________________________________________

Allegedly Mystic is a supernatural teen romance.  

(Teen & Young Adult Visionary & Metaphysical Fiction eBooks)

_____________________________________________________________________

Life is nothing if not unpredictable. Navigating adolescence is never easy, but when you’re born into a family of mystic medicine, every moment is a challenge. Aurora thinks she’s got a handle on it until her emotions get the best of her. 

When your feels affect everyone within a city block, you move every six months, and you’re labeled a weird homeschooler, having friends seems like an impossible dream. Having a best friend is completely out of the question. 

Romance? That's a stone that will never get turned over...

After watching her mother perform a strange ritual in the park, Aurora can’t help but think the story of her ancestry is a pack of lies. She’s seen all the movies about witchcraft. Whenever she’s feeling stressed, a green aura haunts her every move, a white cat appears out of nowhere, the school bully suddenly has her back, and she finds comfort in the companionship of a mysterious kid no one else seems to notice. 

Wondering if she’s secretly a witch, but doesn’t know it, Aurora opens up to her new friends and ends up confessing more than just her concerns about her fanatical mother and the green light. Her emotions always run rampant, but once she gets a handle on it all, she realizes those confusing feelings about her new protector might be more than just gratitude. She’s finally ready to sort it all out when her reservation to the Indian reservation is confirmed.

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Aurora's mother tries to keep her ancestry hidden. Allegedly born into a family of skilled mystic medicine men and women, Aurora, a home-schooled, thirteen-year-old, high school freshman, tries to navigate her special gifts as a mysterious green aura haunts her emotional outbursts. If she learns to contain her emotions, she can use her gifts for good. If she doesn't... Well, that's exactly what she's trying to prevent.  

Has she created the cloud that hovers over her every move? Is she a danger to society? Serenity Waters is the keeper of secrets. Aurora didn't ask for these alleged abilities and she certainly doesn't want to attend a camp to find her inner medicine man, but her mother is making demands and her mystic grandfather keeps appearing out of nowhere. It couldn’t hurt to meet her estranged father, could it?

_____________________________________________________________________

*The story is told from a thirteen-year-old girl's perspective with flashbacks to her mother's teen years.

**This is an upper middle grade fiction/YA fiction supernatural novel perfect for reader's 12-18 yrs. 

GET YA FICTION, ALLEGEDLY MYSTIC FREE WITH KDP UNLIMITED.

Here's the original cover from the YA Fictions Supernatural blog series. Aurora, you've come along way, baby. She is my baby. I've started the next book in the series, I hope to have it completed by Christmas. Things are going much faster these days, I've learned a lot over the years. 

Whether you're a future novelist or a seasoned pro, hop over and learn new things or share your books with my Facebook group: Author Friends (Historical Fiction Books)

 

Get the paperback version of Allegedly Mystic on Amazon.

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Is It Time to Let Your Child Have Their Own Phone?

What Age Should Kid Get Phone?

If your child doesn’t already have their own phone, and they’re at an age when their friends are getting smart phones, no doubt, you'll face endless nagging conversations in the days up to their birthday and the holidays. The peer pressure for kids to get a cellphone is high, and if your child doesn’t have a phone, they may worry about being excluded from their groups or missing out on events (#fomo.) So, is it time to bite the bullet and get your kid the phone they’ve been wanting? It depends, right?

This post contains affiliate links, including Amazon. When you click, we may get a commission.

Average Age

We face this in our family. On the one hand, I don't want to buy an expensive phone that's going to get lost or misplaced. But on the other hand, it would make life easier with after school clubs and activities. Children mature at different rates, each parent has to make their own decisions based on their own child. However, many parents want to know whether their child is ‘too young’ to get a cellphone, or whether they’re being cruel by holding out on this big purchase. According to recent studies, the average age to get a first cellphone is 10.3 years old, which means, by the time kids hit middle school, many of their friends will already have phones. 

Following Rules

Most parenting experts agree, it’s not the age of the child that matters, but more the maturity level and the ability to follow rules around smartphone usage. Before you put the device into your child's hands, you need to set ground rules. Set daily phone usage limits, how much time kids can spend, whether they can take the phone to school, etc.

Did you know, many cellphones have apps that help you keep track of your child’s screen time and ensure they’re not visiting inappropriate websites, but when you give your child a phone, you should be able to trust that they aren't using the phone in a way that will put them in danger. You can use "Google Find My Phone" to keep track of the phone's whereabouts, this can be very helpful when your teen is supposed to be home.

Protecting the Device

Cost is also a big factor when it comes to deciding to buy a cellphone for your child. Unless they’re already at an age where they have a part-time job, it’s another monthly bill for you to cover. You’ll need to ensure you have insurance in case the phone is lost or stolen. It’s worth looking for BodyGuardz iPhone 7 Plus cases too, just in case of any drops or knocks, so you aren’t stuck with a big phone repair bill. 

Ensuring Screen-free Time

One problem with giving children cellphones is that it’s harder to enforce screen-free times if they have their own device. If your kids go to the park with friends or hang out in their room, they’ll likely be glued to their phone.

When it comes to homework, studies have shown that simply having a phone in the room ruins a child's concentration, so you may need to watch out for slipping grades too. Consider enforcing cellphone usage times, say between 8 am and 10 pm, so your kids aren’t up all night surfing the internet or watching YouTube. When it’s time to do homework or sit down for dinner, place all phones in a basket out of sight, so there’s no temptation to fiddle with the phone and ruin family time.

Getting your first cellphone is a rite of passage in the digital age, but as a parent, it’s up to you to decide when the time is right for your child, and whether they can understand the responsibilities that come with this pricey gift. 

No matter what you decide, you'll have to deal with teen angst that will surely stress you out. We're right there with you. Got questions? Leave a comment and we'll try to help!

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