Sunday Food for Thought: What Would You Do? The Flight or Fight Instinct

What Would You Do: The Flight of Fight Instinct

So, you think you're perfect, do you?  Me too.  At least, I try. I used to work very hard at it; until, one day, I realized perfect is a lot of trouble.  Since then, I just try to do my best. WWJD and all that jazz.  My teenager was learning about flight or fight.  She was describing how it's human instinct to run away from danger.  If a building is burning, most people run away to protect themselves, maybe they run to safety and then call 911. 

Disney's Tinkerbell often practice Fight or Flight.

"Are you crazy", I ask.  "Is that what you would do?" 
"Umm, yes, hello, I'm no hero.  I'm human."
"Really?  Is that what most people would do?" 
"Yes!  That's what separates us from the heroes. Natural instinct."
"I'm flipping out here.  What if someone is in the building?"
"You hope someone else saves them.  You call 911."
"No way!  I'm counting my kids. I'm making sure we're all safe, and I'm going back in to save whoever I can. What if there is a helpless animal inside?"
"Hope.  Pray."

No way!  I'm going in.  I did that once.  Well, I tried to.  People wouldn't let me.  A house was burning. I called 911.  I thought they were gone.  I knew they had dogs inside.  I ran to the house. It was only smoking. I looked in the windows.  I tried to open the sliding glass doors.  Only the garage was burning at the time.  The owner of the home was working in the garage.  He got out safely.  He never tried to save the dogs.  I couldn't get anything open.  Bystanders made me stop trying.  By the time the firemen arrived it was too late. They died of smoke inhalation.

I'm not a hero.  As I often say, maybe I'm just insane.

Turns out, I'm not perfect either.  Not even close.

Once, I worked in a restaurant, it was a small part of a larger organization. I helped seat people between checking on my special catered events. 

The restaurant manager had been at the hostess stand with another employee.  A dishwasher.  He should have been in the kitchen. He was a seasonal employee.  In the summer he came from Mexico to work for a few months. I later found out that he had a fake social security card.

After they left the hostess stand, I went to greet some customers.  Looking down, I noticed a tiny baggie of white powder on the floor.  I quickly scooped it up and put it in my pocket.  I didn't want a customer or their child to pick it up.

I seated the guests and went out into the corridor to gather my thoughts.  I leaned over the counter of the security desk and looked at the stream of videos coming from all parts of the grounds. Nothing seemed unusual.  I considered telling the security guard.  I considered asking him to call the police.

We'd had some trouble. The restaurant manager was on rocky ground.  He was on the verge of being fired. I felt like he had something to do with the package.  I asked the security guard if he knew where the PIC (person in charge) was.  "I think he's in his office."

I went to his office and told him a 'what if' scenario.  'He'd call the police.'  I knew I would too, but I didn't feel like I could. I had to work with these people.  I was dating the manager.  Worse than that, I had moved in with him. Where would I sleep?  What would I do?

"How about you call the police since you're the PIC and all?" He gazed at me with a quizzical grin.
"How about you call the police since you're the one who found it and all?"

Anyway, immediately upon moving in with the manager, I'd become aware of my mistake.  It was a dreadful decision that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I couldn't tell anyone.  What would they think of me?

The truth is, I felt quite certain, said manager had something to do with the drugs.  The PIC agreed.

Dilemma. 

I went back to the security desk and hung out for awhile. I saw a policeman patrolling the parking lot. I wondered what would happen if he caught me with the drugs in my pocket?  I felt like a criminal.

It's a restaurant, right?  Maybe it's just a packet of low-cal sweetener?

It could be cocaine, crack, crystal meth; I don't know. 

I've never even taken a puff of a cigarette. Once a group of my friends dared me to try 'Skoal Bandits'. I did.  Can you believe that? I can't. But my Dad had once suggested my Aunt purchase tobacco for her abscessed tooth.  It was a home remedy and it worked!  Plus, they were legal at the time, no matter your age.  But, I digress.

What I do know is that my fingerprints are all over the bag.

I decided to ask the manager/boyfriend. I wanted to see how he'd react.

He grabbed it from my hand and looked at it.  "This is heroin!  Where'd you get it?"

I told him the story. 

"You better get rid of it.   The police are outside."

"Why don't you get rid of it for me?"

"Are you crazy?  No way, I'm not going to get caught with that!  My fingerprints are all over it now."

Well... at least he didn't take it and use it.

I didn't want to throw it in the trash.  Someone might dig it out. I told the boyfriend that I was going to flush it.  "Don't do that!  It might not go down. They might trace it back to you.  Take it home and flush it."

So, I decided to do exactly that.  Don't ask me why I thought that was a good idea.  I just don't know what came over me.  I was scared.  I was afraid of losing my job, going to jail, losing my home, my boyfriend, my life...  Just failing in general, I guess.

On the five minute drive home, I became increasingly paranoid. I was terrified I'd be stopped and the police would search the car.  The rain was pelting my windshield.  My heart pounded.  I panicked.

I threw the baggie out the window.

I did. Me, an intelligent, thirty-year-old, goody two-shoes, with nothing to hide.

Immediately I realized my faux pas, more panic.

I wanted to turn around and try to retrieve it.  What if a bird picked it up and ate it?   Or a raccoon?  What if that spot was a bus stop?  What if the kids found it in the morning?  But...

What if I went back, in the dark, in the falling rain and started scrambling on the ground looking for a bag of drugs?  I'd look like an addict! My prints were on the bag. What if a cop came by and found me?

I never went back. I went home.  I stayed with this guy for nearly three more years.  We never discussed the baggie again.

Later, I told my Dad the story.  He had just one question.  "How did the guy know it was heroin?  Who would know that heroin came in a white powder like that?  Who, but a druggie or drug dealer?"

Good question, Dad.  I hadn't thought of that.  So, my instincts were accurate.  The guy had something to do with it.  Why hadn't I turned it in?  I could have saved myself from three, long years of Hell on Earth. Why?

About a year later, after said manager/boyfriend had lost his job and I ended up quitting also, the PIC and I went out to dinner.  "Whatever happened with those drugs you found?"  I told him. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He'd tried to get me to do the right thing.  Why hadn't I?

I just don't know.  I deeply regret it.  I am not perfect.  I am not a hero.  Apparently, I am not a goody-two shoes either.  If I had it all to do over again, I would take the risk of losing my place to live, my job, and my boyfriend.

Likely, I would have ended up with the other man. Two goody two-shoes together, in the right place at the right time.

I don't know, would I? 

All of those events brought me to my life today. To my beautiful family, (I never thought I'd have) to my life as I now know it- where I can sit on my high-horse and contemplate doing the right thing... next time I get the chance. 

So... How can we blame our kids for impulsive actions when we can't even be sure of ourselves?

Did you read "Hall Pass Thief"?

Cool Things to do with Chicken Nuggets: Make Kid Friendly Appetizers

Kid Friendly Chicken Nugget Appetizers

School is back in session, and after all that hard work, hungry kids need something fun to eat. Our kid friendly chicken nugget appetizers are one of many cool things to do with chicken nuggets! Best of all, when you buy Tyson® Chicken Nuggets, you can help your school! Scroll down to learn more about Tyson Project A+™. Enjoy!

Cool Things to do with Chicken Nuggets: Make Kid Friendly Appetizers.

Tyson® Chicken Nuggets are made with 100% natural ingredients, all-white meat, and they are crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside. Whether you make our kid-friendly appetizers for a party or as an after-school snack, your kids will get a kick out eating nuggets in a surprising, new way. Since they are breaded, you don't need to add more carbs to make mini chicken sandwich sliders- just use the nuggets as the sandwich breading!

We added a pickle and some ketchup to our chicken nugget appetizers,
and they were a huge hit!

To help your school, start collecting Tyson Project A+™ labels from specially marked  packages. Visit Walmart.com/ProjectA+ to nominate your school. Share a compelling story that includes why you are nominating your school through Tyson Project A+™. The school with the most nominations will receive a packet of labels worth $1,000 to help their school get a head start on collecting Tyson Project A+™ labels!

 

 Share on social media using: #WMTProjectAPlus

Though we currently homeschool, we nominated our old school, Robey Elementary. Robey is a fantastic school that nurtures children and offers many opportunities for gifted students.



Even though we were moving from the district, my son was still offered the opportunity to attend the gifted program.

As a preschooler attending their preschool program, they quickly recognized his strengths and often allowed him to work and play at his own pace. In kindergarten, once again his abilities were nurtured. Then, in first and second grade, he was able to study his special interests in more depth. This kept him interested in school, as he was beginning to hate it due to boredom.

"I already know that." And, he did... We're so thankful the school was paying attention.


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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Tyson. The opinions and text are all mine.

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to, amazon.com, endless.com, myhabit.com, smallparts.com, or amazonwireless.com. We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

Disney Tips and Tricks

Tricks and Tips Disney World

If you're planning a trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida, you want tips and tricks to make your trip less hectic and less expensive. We've got some simple Disney tips and tricks that will help you plan an unforgettable trip to Disney World! Enjoy!

As a member of the media, I received two media passes from Walt Disney World.*

Disney Tips and Tricks.

I wanted to take pictures of, It's a Small World, Space Mountain, and the Pirates of the Caribbean, but I forgot. Thank goodness! Instead, I got to enjoy the rides! Good news, YouTube is here for you! I'm sharing some of the best Disney World and Epcot rides through the eyes of popular YouTubers.

Important Notes:

• Everyone gets FastPasses with their regular admission ticket. 
• Disney Dining Passes are only for guests staying in the hotels. 

Tip #1

First tip... go to Epcot first. In the morning, everyone is rushing to the Magic Kingdom. Rush to Epcot. The lines will be shorter in the morning. The longest line we waited in was the security line to get into the park. We drove the car and parked it in the front lot, near the bus stop, just a short hop to the restrooms and then to Spaceship Earth!




Video by Mike Karschti.



Video by LiveFastDiePoor.

Tip #2

This way, you can take the monorail to the Magic Kingdom and make a grand entrance while enjoying the view.

Tip #3

If you have a complaint, be sure to let guest services know asap. They'll solve it- they want to make sure everyone is smiling, because it is the happiest place on Earth! My youngest was over waiting in the security line when we headed to guest services to pick up some passes. She was frowning! The rep asked her name, and then gave her a pass to go to the front of any line of her choice. That made her smile. Happy, happy, happy!

Tip #4

Split, then split it! If you have picky eaters, maybe don't plan on eating at Epcot. There's tons of food choices - too many. But, the kids were starving and we couldn't agree on one. We finally decided to splurge on French Food- the priciest food in the park. I was running out of money fast, and with my food allergies, and the picky eaters, I wasn't sure what to order. We split a chicken dinner. It was more than enough for the two of us. Chicken, veggies, bread, and dessert. The littlest one had a kid's meal.

What's great about this? Everyone is French! The chef came to assure me, I'd be okay. He was obviously very busy. It makes me uncomfortable when they do this... You can tell you are interrupting their work. I wasn't assured that I'd be okay, however, because he didn't stick around long enough to talk -- make sure you know your food allergies and steer clear. Mine are impossible to avoid, so I chuckled when he said, "You'll be fine." We could only hope.

We didn't visit the dome this time. I've been there before. There was a very long line, and I knew we'd visit Space Mountain which is a similar dome-y experience. If you want to do it, use your FastPass here.  FastPass Tips from Mousehints.

Tip #5

While you are in Epcot, don't miss the Sum of All Thrills in Innoventions. From the outside, it looks like a boring building, but it is a great place to cool off and relax. There is a lot for young children to do. My tweens loved designing their own ride in 4D. They wanted to immediately do it again, but it was our first ride and there was so much more to experience.

You'll get a card to visit Raytheon online.

Tip #6

When I visited Epcot as a teenager, Figment was my favorite part. Mostly, I think it was because he was a purple dinosaur with a rainbow. I don't know. It was an interesting experience.

I say, if you are short on time, skip this one. Unless, you love smell-o-vision. There are skunk and other smells pumped into the air for your enjoyment. When the ride is over, there is a fun, interactive, hands-on section for kids. We also liked that it was an air-conditioned wait in line.

Lots of Disney Movie "professors" and their experiments here.

Weebo.

While in Epcot, we also visted The Seas area and the Finding Nemo ride. If you have plenty of time, do it. The Seas have a nice ocean exhibit that includes rescued Manatees. If you are short on time, skip it. The line was long, and the ride was less than spectacular.

Tip #7

Remember that happy pass my daughter got for frowning? We used it at the Chevrolet Test Track. This was our favorite ride in Epcot. There's a little surprise at the end. We all wanted this ride to keep going. So much fun! Use your FASTPASS here!!!

When the ride ended, we spent an hour enjoying the interactive exhibit areas.

There is so much to see and do in Epcot! It was pouring down the rain, and a terrible storm was on the way, so we hurried through Epcot to have more time in the Magic Kingdom. You really do need a day or more to see everything in each park.

Since a storm was brewing, we didn't take the monorail to the Magic Kingdom. Instead, we drove the car back to the hotel to take cover. Don't worry, Disney doesn't let a silly little storm spoil the fun. Everything keeps going... rain and all!

We rested longer than we'd planned. Because beds. Because Disney Television. Because free wifi. Because vacation!

Then, we walked out to the main entry of Disney's Pop Century Resort and took a WDW bus to the Magic Kingdom.

Tip #8

Don't take a bus in the rain. People aren't happy on the bus. There are long lines. You might end up standing the twenty minute drive to whatever park you choose to visit next. The bus drives a little faster than you might expect. Park in one of the parks and leave the car for the day. Take the monorail between Magic Kingdom and Epcot. Parking was $20. You decide if that is too pricey. I think it was worth it.

I couldn't help worrying that everyone with a backpack was a terrorist. I've seen too many CSI's and Criminal Minds. There is no security check to get on the buses. Bus was my least favorite. So much so, that while riding the bus, I remembered I had ridden before and hated it then too. Apparently, I had blocked it.

Also, I just have to mention this, but I am hyperprotective. When we left the Magic Kingdom it was late. Some teenage girls were chatting up the bus attendants. I caught the older bus attendants (old men) making inappropriate remarks and letting their eyes wander.

Then, they caught my eye. Oops! Yep, remind your kids that, though it is WDW, you still have to remember about stranger danger. Seems like they just wanted to look and not touch...

Oh, that's not very happy. Just remember, we have to be aware of our surroundings and if we see something, say something.

On to the happiest place on Earth. There is nothing like the Magic Kingdom, even in the rain. Some things are better in the rain, because lots of people melt in the rain and go home.

What will you do first? It is so hard to decide!

Tip #9

Head to the furthest point in the park first and work your way back. Review the FastPass Tips above for the best rides to use with your FastPass. We planned to use it on It's a Small World, but we didn't need to and then somehow we lost our last FastPass option when we tried to delete it at the last minute.

Use it for Peter Pan! The lines are always long. Waiting until the last minute didn't help.



Video by SoCal Attractions 360.

Tomorrowland is underated and awesome.

Entry to Tomorrowland.

Sure, some things are outdated but still have charm. Other things are so cool, you don't want to miss out!

Laugh Floor
Are you a Monster's Inc. fan? Don't miss the Laugh Floor! The line wasn't too unbearable. Once inside, you'll sit in a comfy seat and enjoy an innovative show. The technology is super cool.

Stitch's Great Escape 
More Smell-o-Vision here. Cute. Shorter lines and it is a very unexpected experience.

People Mover
I love the People Mover. No stairs, no escalators- just moving ramps to a sit down ride. This is a low key ride that gives you a great view of Tomorrowland. You even get a sneak peek at Space Mountain.

 Tip #10

Here's a BIG TIP! While everyone else is watching the fireworks, catch as many rides as you can! We rode Pirates, Flying Carpets, and Jungle Cruise with no waiting!

Cinderella's Castle in the rain, just before the fireworks. 

Video by DAPs Magic.





Videos by Sharp Productions.

Tip # 11

I'm not a big fan of Splash Mountain. It is similar to water roller coasters at other parks. To me, the line isn't worth it. If you want to ride it, be sure to use your FastPass. I think it is a glorified log ride.

Tip #12

Don't miss Space Mountain. I'm certain, if this were an outdoor roller coaster, seen in the light of day, that I would NEVER ride it! Thank goodness everything is in the dark. It feels rickety. That's part of the charm.

The first time I rode it at sixteen years old, I held my breath and kept my eyes shut. The next time I rode it, I kept my eyes shut for just a second. This time, my nine-year-old kept her eyes shut the whole time. I think she held her breath too. She says she will never ride it again. I said that too.

It is pretty terrifying and pretty awesome. I didn't want my eleven-year-old son to miss out. I didn't want him to ride by himself... Confession, I really didn't want to ride it again. Ever. Funny, how much better it is when you keep your eyes open and breathe!

You can do it! It only lasts a few seconds, and you will never forget it! They've changed the line experience too. Though it is long, there is a lot to do along the way. There's not a better way to end your Disney experience.

So long, Magic Kingdom. We only had one day to explore. Don't worry, we'll be back for more.

Tip #13

It is expensive, but heed all warnings that you need more time. Four days should do it. Take advanatage of those multiple day passes. This year, we didn't make it to Animal Kingdom or Hollywood Studios. There are awesome things to see at both places. Toy Story, Cars, and now, Star Wars, await you at the Studios.

On the way out, don't miss the Mickey Mouse confections at the Main Street Bakery. If you've spent all your money, at least pop in to take a gander.

We stopped on Mainstreet to watch the parade. Again, more than enough to share at Casey's Corner. We spent about $9 on a combo meal that was more than enough food for two. They even shared with me!

Everywhere you go, there are friendly ducks! They want food. Don't feed them. How will they fly? Bread is bad for ducks.

Resting in the rain, sharing mini corndogs and fries from Casey's Corner. 

The Parade

Last photo op on Mainstreet.

Tip #14

Single parent with kids of the opposite sex? Send the kid's into the restrooms while you wait outside and listen or pop in as needed. Then, when they return, have them sit together near the entrance. There's safety in numbers.

The Pop Century Hotel is just as fun as the park... almost.

Yes, you can have a cupcake for breakfast!

The food is really good. Whenever they can, they make Mickey ears. It was expensive, but get a kid's meal with fruit and some ala carte items. There are lots of ways to be frugal.

Fun aracade inside the hotel lobby.

Cool interactive games.

Get your rock star on.

So, you saw the awesome pool pics above. We were too tired to swim. The rooms were small, but nice. The Mickey details are awesome! There is even a safe inside the room. We had a fridge but no microwave, that seemed weird. Read more about the room here: Universal vs. Disney.

Have a Happy Disney Trip!

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products. *We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to, amazon.com, endless.com, myhabit.com, smallparts.com, or amazonwireless.com. We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

Tips to Teach Kids Before College

Kids Going Off To College? Here Are Some Things To Teach Them Before

 

It’s a bittersweet time when your children fly the nest after years of living under your wing. While you know it’s going to be an exciting new experience for them to learn and become adults, you can’t help but worry about them. So, to put your mind at ease, and to give them some useful knowledge before they go, let’s have a look at some tips you can teach your kids or speak to them about before they set off for college.

Domestic Duties

College is the time when your children will realize all that you do for them around the house, from cleaning up after them to cooking their meals. Hopefully, over the years, they’ll have picked up a thing or two from you, but it’s always a good idea to send them off with recipes, cleaning products, and anything else that will equip them for what lies ahead. College care packages are always helpful, but they need to learn to prepare for life on their own.

 

You’re still sure to get calls from them exclaiming how the washing machine won't spin (click the link for possible issues and fixes for this) or the oven won’t turn on, which you can help them with, trying to decipher the problem. These will often be simple fixes but if not, they can always get a professional in to fix the problem. This is all part of them growing up and learning how to handle things going wrong and how to make them right again. Here are some healthy eating tips for college students.

 

Alcohol

College is notorious for parties and drinking, so even if your son or daughter isn’t a drinker, you should still speak to them about this before they go. Ensure that they know to always be safe and never leave their cup unattended at events, as it could pose a threat. Their safety is paramount, so without scaring them or being over the top, you need to talk to them about being sensible and always letting someone know where they are. Make them aware that they never have to buckle to peer pressure, saying “no” is their right and if they don’t want to do something, then they don’t have to.

 

The Value Of Money

Cash can be tight for college students, so teaching them about budgeting and not splurging on unnecessary items is something that will come in handy for them. You can instill this at an early age, by giving them pocket money if they help you with chores, or when special occasions come around. This will help them to realize that money is earned and if they want something expensive, they have to save for it. You can reiterate what you’ve taught them over the years in the lead up to them moving away for college, as it’s more important now than ever as they won’t be living under your roof anymore. You might also want to look into scholarships. There are several scholarships available to homeschoolers.

 

Most of the time, your children will learn a lot of this along the way, but if you can offer them any help and guidance beforehand, at least you know you tried! This is their time to make mistakes, and those are often the most prominent learning curves of all. 

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Step on a Crack Break Your Mother's Back Dealing with OCD

Dealing with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) ~ "Step on a crack break your mother's back"

My musings on life and obsessive compulsive disorder.

Sunday Food for Thought

I write with the human spirit in mind - Christians, Agnostics, Atheists, and Others:

This Sunday, I take a moment to reflect on the eccentricities of me.  Please be gracious and ignore any typos or grammatical errors today.  I will edit them later after I've had a break from writing.  Read on to learn why-

Last week my little ones and myself were baptized.  We are four, six, and forty-one.  The other members of  our family were baptized as infants in the Catholic church long before we met. They stood up for us.

I am not a religious person.  I am, however, extremely spiritual.

You might be wondering, Why?  Why haven't we been baptized yet.  Or why do it at all?

I have some peculiar answers to those questions and I have decided to share the deepest interworkings of my brain on OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I am a recovering Obsessive Compulsive. These days, it has become a popular turn of phrase.  So many people joke about it- maybe they joke because they fear it.

I expect Tom Cruise has an opinion on OCD and religion, but I digress.

Most of us can find something about ourselves that is compulsive or even obsessive.  It may be embarassing but it is unlikely that it greatly reduces the quality of your life or well-being.  My brain on OCD stifled my quality of life in many ways.

For example, as a child I had been an avid reader.  I read most of the classics by the fourth grade.  I.E.  Jane Eyre,  Wuthering Heights, Tom Sawyer, Pollyanna, Of Mice and Men, etc.  I read the Communist Manifesto in sixth grade, you get the picture. 

In college, I became incapable of reading.  I could not read the Bible, a text book, a script, or even a newspaper.  My life had changed.  I sat in class and struggled to stay awake taking explicit notes that I would not be able to study later.  I had hoped writing the information down would help my brain retain it for the test.

Before this particular OCD trait afflicted me, I made the Dean's List with a 4.0.  I was accepted into the College of Architecture and Planning.  My future looked bright.

One day, I woke up with numerous health concerns all of which grew worse with stress.  Suddenly, I could no longer read.  As I read, the words would mock me and block me from reading any further.  A simple word like 'but' was impossible to get past.  In my head, the word didn't read correctly and I'd have to read it again until it fit the right pace. 

This is difficult to explain.  It makes no sense.  As I type, I can akin it to my typing issues.

I type a sentence. I type a sentne   I type a I type a sen   I type a senten   I type a sentence.  If I catch a typo, I must immediately correct it.  I do not erase only to the misspelling.  I must erase the entire word or sentence depending on my level of stress.   Currently, that level is low.  I misspelled level like this levle.  I deleted only the last l and completed the word lev- level.  Are you with me?

This type of compulsion is frustrating.  It slows me down and takes up time, but it does not affect the quality of my life- at this time.  If I were to become obessesed with writing this post perfectly and completing it quickly, conceivably I could sit here for hours without eating lunch or dinner or cleaning the house.

Luckily, I have learned to work around these blips in my brain.  Sharing the affliction with others helps too.  Family and friends can hold me accountable.  Jokes work but shame just aggravates the disorder.  It's a very fine line.

Remember in grade school when you said, (Yes, I am talking to YOU) "Step on a crack, break your Mother's back?"  Did you step on cracks?  I remember kids jumping over them on the sidewalk, I remember other kids stomping on the cracks, still others just walked across them without thinking anything of it at all.

What did I do? I struggled.  I didn't want people to stare at me.  I didn't believe if I stepped on a crack my mother's back would immediately break.  I shut my eyes.  Sometimes, I held my breath.  I had to step over the crack to get to class.  I couldn't draw attention to myself. 

When people teased me or even just looked at me funny, I turned pomegranate.  So, I developed a pace.  Walking with my stride paced perfectly I could avoid all pre-planned cracks. If the sidewalk had cracked from the elements I could not avoid jumping or bumping into my neighbor.

As a teenager, I tried switching off my bedroom light and jumping into my bed from across the room before the light went out.  Of course, I knew this was impossible. I hoped to avoid walking on the floor in the dark.  Apparently, the monsters under my bed stayed idle until the lights were off. 

Luckily, I was a smart cookie.  I would go to bed early and read until my brother or parents came to bed then I would holler at them, "Can you please turn my light off?"  Problem solved.

OCD has nothing to do with intelligence or the ability to tell right from wrong or sanity from insanity.

Intellectually, I knew the act of stepping on a crack would not break my mother's back.  Spiritually, I believed God was watching over me.  I could pray to save her back.

But there is always that 'What if?'  What if a coincidence occured and something bad happened after I stepped on a crack?  What if something bad happened if I stepped on my floor in the dark?  Perhaps, I'd step on a spider or a mouse?  What if I read the word wrong and I failed the test?  What if I made a mistake and someone I loved died.  What if...

Coincidences are grueling.  Oprah says there are no coincidences.  Don't tell that to an OCD.  The strand of logic is broken.  If this = that, then that caused this with no relative cause to rhyme or reason.

In fourth grade, (I've discussed this before) we were given a card to fill out.  One of the questions asked for religious affiliation.  My parents never went to church, occasionally I went with an Aunt.  Distraught over the question I took it home and asked my mother what to say.  I didn't want to write n/a.  What would people think? 

"We're Christians, write that."
"We don't go to church!"
"We believe in Jesus.  That makes us Christians."
"They want to know what church we go to!  I go to different churches."
"Just, put Protestant on the line.  It will be fine."
"I don't want them to know I'm Protestant!"
"We are not Catholic.  We believe in Jesus.  You are Protestant."

I didn't exactly understand.

"I haven't been baptized. I'm not Christian."
"You've been baptized."
"When?"
"Oh, I don't know, but you've been baptized."
"Were you there?"  "How come I don't remember?"
"It was a long time ago."  "Just drop it.  I'll fill out your card."

After that, I went to church as much as I could. I had several offers to be baptized. I wanted to be baptized.  I didn't want to be a sinner.  I  had heard the stories.  But I felt my family should be there with me. I was also filled with fear.

I saw kids slammed in the head, and people immersed in creeks, and holy water splashed in faces, and hands hovered over heads...  Pastors, Preachers, Priests, Ministers, Reverends.  The only thing I didn't see was a Rabbi.

I didn't want to do something so important without my family there. 

They weren't coming.  People, asking me to persuade them to come, only stressed me out more and kicked in my fears that something bad would happen.  I couldn't think about that- it would greatly reduce my quality of life. 

Besides, what if I did get baptized and some ironic twist of fate took my life.  I know, I know, I know...   Christian friends.  Nothing to fear.  But I had something to fear, losing my family forever.
To believe or not to believe- That IS the question.

OCD was mostly controllable throughout my life; afflictions came and went.  If you'd like to learn more about them or share some of your own drop me a note and we'll swap odd stories.  thehollyjollyone@yahoo.com

In college and after, I did a bunch of Catholic stuff.  Marriage classes, counseling, and etc.  Not only must you have documentation of baptism but you must be confirmed and generally a member to take part in communion.  I'd sit in the pew as everyone filed past me.  Singled out as a sinner, oh the humiliation, oh the OCD reactions it would bring.

A twist of fate, a project  to design a church, introduced me to the Episcopalian Church.  The bridge between Catholics and Protestants.  Although I frequented many churches since the initial introduction, this version of Christianity had struck a chord of acceptance in me.

My mother once told me that she did not want to baptize me into a particular religion.  It would be my choice and not a label that someone else had imposed.

I grappled with this idea when my children were born.  I also feared death.  What if they die without being baptized.  Do I care?  Does it matter? 

The  twenty-minute ride home from the hospital after their birth was the longest drive of my life and the lowpoint of my OCD.  I am surprised that I lived through it without suffering a nervous breakdown.

I guess, I didn't.  It was insane. Totally insane... and I did it twice.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sit still, I couldn't look out the windows, I couldn't look away from my child, I couldn't live and enjoy the moment.  OCD had taken its toll and sheer panic had taken hold.  I didn't sleep for four years.  I had to make sure the children kept breathing throughout the night.  You laugh, you think surely I jest.  I can assure you this is no joke.

When the unreligious/unchurched die my mother often says, "Don't worry a preacher was there."  "They were baptized before they died."  Who is worrying me or you?  I suppose it matters somewhere to someone but does it matter to me?  I've heard a lot of people say, "Well, it can't hurt."  That's true, isn't it?

Forget about me, I wanted to baptized the children.  No matter what they decide later on they will be saved as long as they believe in their hearts, right?  But, OCD kept blocking me.  What if I baptize them and they get killed in a car accident on the way home?

Yeah, yeah, yeah - God and such.  BUT what IF?
Oh, the irony.  Oh, the dread, how could I live with myself?

Either way, I live in fear.  I live in shame.  What if they get sick and die before they've been baptized? 

Can you feel the stress building?  It's been six long years with very little sleep.

At the height of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I lived with an alcoholic.  I attended AA meetings. I took away the best lessons ever, "Let go and let God" and "Live and let Live".

Choose a phrase that best fits you - it works.

I am a recovering Obsessive Compulsive.  I lived in a funk.  A fog of worry hovered over my life.

I let it go for too long.  The biggest fear I had  last week, while getting baptized at the age of forty-one, "What would the congregation think of me?"  I have become an active member of the church.  I was embarassed and ashamed that I had waited for so long.

Irony is to blame but there is something else too -

My family and friends.  What if something happens to them before they get the chance?  Do I care?  Do they?  Does it matter?  The problem is, I just don't have an answer.

I don't care what you believe or where you go or where you don't go, but I want to go with the people I love and I want them to go with me.  Wherever.

I know some people don't like church.  I know some people fear it.  I know some people feel ashamed. I know some people don't care.  I know lots of those people have Jesus in their hearts and lots of them don't but most of them are good people, either way.  What I don't know is if any of it matters.

Some people need more.  I needed more.  A heavy weight has been lifted from my back.

Now, I can not only live and let live but also let go and let God.

If my children choose something different, that's okay. 
If they go astray and come back another day, that's okay too.

I no longer have to worry about the What if's.  For me, no matter how many cracks I step on, it's in God's hands now.  I can't change fate.

Years of habits will take years to break- don't be surprised if you catch me pacing my steps to avoid the cracks.

And what did the congregation say?  "Congratulations on your baptisms." 

That was that, so simple, so easy, and so many fears washed away with a simple splash.

This Sunday, I breathe easier than last. 

What's on your list?  Keep moving forward!

Board Games for Families

Quality Family Time Board Game

It's been proven that spending quality time with our kids is extremely important, not only for their emotional and psychological development, but also for the fun of making memories. There are times when our busy schedules can get in the way. It leaves us struggling to come up with ideas on how to fit in everything. Board Games for families are a fun way to plug in as a family. We may think we have no time for quality time, but family game night should be a regular part of our weekly schedules.

This post contains affiliate links.

Thanks to OnebyTwo games, you are covered. OnebyTwo offers Quality Time Kits with busy parents in mind. They kindy mailed us a game kit to test. Even with a full schedule, this cool family game concept creates a way for every parent to spend some one on one time with their children. The entire family can craft the game together, but the games are best for children ages 6 and up. Take turns playing one on one with each family member. Adults will enjoy the strategy and creativity of each game.

Games for Family Time

Game kits are designed for one adult and one child. They are meant to be opened, built, and played in less than an hour. The best part? They are delivered right to your door! That's right, they offer two different subscriptions or you can order a single game for around $20 (each game varies in price.) A six month subscription is $109.99 and a 12 month subscription is offered for $209.99. That's not a bad price to put on quality family time.

With the various game kits available, you are sure to find something that fits with your and your child's interests and needs.

Games are designed to help build the following:

-Fine Motor Skills

-Communication Skills

-Strategy & Planning

-Spatial Thinking

-Memory & Attentiveness

-Problem Solving

Current game themes include: Desert, Camp, The Great Valley, Robots, and Archipelago.

Of course with a subscription, you get something new each month! So you can save each kit to play again until your new subscription arrives.

For your convenience, some of the board games (quality time kits) are available on Amazon. A quality family time board game by OnebyTwo will entertain you and your child and help create lasting, memorable moments of cherished quality time.


Open it, Craft it, Play it!

Recommended:

Ger Moving Games

More Board Games for families

Group Games from Kids Creative Chaos

ART: Elementary Homeschool Projects from our online lessons: Lesson One

Homeschool Sample Artwork for Homeschool Art from Connections Academy Online Homeschool

(How a Bricks and Mortar teacher ruined the love of ART)

We've been contemplating Homeschooling for a long time. We needed to find a house in the country with a barn, so we knew we'd be moving, but had no idea where. It seemed the perfect time to bite the bullet. 

I had dreamed of being an ART teacher but deplored my first college art professor and switched to THEATRICAL DESIGN and later to ARCHITECTURE. Ha-ha-ha. I have a diploma. I worked in various design capacities, but always preferred working with children. I am laughing, because, after having my own children, that is no longer my favorite thing. Now, I like to write (more about that later).

But, oh wow! Homeschooling gave me a chance to fulfill my first academic dream and become a real life art teacher! I could not wait to get started. When you cannot wait for something; well, you probably should. It never, ever turns out like you envision.

Things are finally starting to swing in my favor, so I thought I would start sharing our weekly projects here. I want to give all moms of budding artists hope and patience by sharing our grief.  We've learned so many great lessons along the way: How to clean up, How art can teach math, Patience is a virtue, Practice makes perfect, How to spell new words, How to make Mommy say bad words... you get it- you've lived it.  

Maybe you love math or music or language arts and it turns out to be your child's least favorite or worst subject. Time to put on your grown-up pants and grin and bear it with me.

Here is Jake's work from Connection's Academy Art LESSON ONE:  Draw a picture of yourself showing how you feel about school, specifically ART, use shapes and patterns within your drawing.



ANGRY.

Jake: "I hate art."
Mommy: "It is my favorite subject! I am not so great, but I try my best."
Jake: "I'm no good at it, and I don't want to do it."
Mommy: "Let's listen to music while we draw."
Jake: "Let's don't, and say we did."
Mommy: "Jake, here is a mirror draw your face."
Jake: "No."
Mommy: "Just Do IT!"
Jake: "This is not fun."
Mommy: "This is not fun."
Mommy: "Maybe this is why Mom's take up drinking wine."


Later, Jake informed me he had never used anything but crayons in his art class at school. They always had to color the ENTIRE page with neat, crayon coloring from corner to corner. WHAT? I've got the pictures and the grades to prove why he doesn't like art. 

She was a hardcore grader for an elementary teacher who made the kids use crayons as a medium! In fact, she killed his straight A+'s in first grade with a B- and a comment to try and be neater. He was devastated. I told him, "Ya gotta do what ya gotta do." He did it from that point on. 

Man, I'd hate art too if that were my teacher's philosophy. Why do you need an art teacher for coloring with crayons. Seems like a lot of busy work to me.


Recommended Reading:

Lesson Two
Lesson Three
Lesson Four

The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas: 500+ Fun and Creative Learning Activities for Kids Ages 3-12 (Prima Home Learning Library)*

Discovering Great Artists: Hands-On Art for Children in the Styles of the Great Masters (Bright Ideas for Learning (TM))*

How to Make a Battery Magnet: Solenoid Science

How to Make a Magnet with a Battery Wire and Nail

If you are looking for a fun and slightly dangerous science experiment for your class or homeschool, you've come to the right place! Depending on how you attempt to make a battery magnet with a wire and a nail, this solenoid science project for kids can be a lot of fun or go very wrong. Perfect, now your kids will pay attention. Enjoy!

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience.*

4 Suggestions for Smooth Living with Blended Families

Advice for Blending Families

Blending two families together as one can prove to be challenging, especially when different personalities and needs come into play. With children entering the equation on both sides and different parenting styles suddenly merging, it's important to make sure everyone's feelings, needs and wants are taken into consideration before moving in together. 

Read about one of our contributor’s experiences with Blending Families.

Preparing to live together as a family means discussing finances, making sure everyone has their own space, and/or preparing children for the big change in one way or another. Here are some suggestions for making the transition of becoming a blended family as smooth as possible.

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.

1. Hash Out Child-Rearing Approaches

Different attitudes on child rearing can make or break a home. Not everyone has the same parenting style. While some parents are considered "pushovers," allowing their children to get and do whatever they want (with no ability to say "no,") other parents are a bit more disciplined. When two people with different child-rearing approaches come together as one blended family, it can be difficult when an incident occurs with their children.

To keep everyone on the same page, it's important to discuss child-rearing techniques and approaches before you move in together. Indeed, it makes for a much more peaceful home. Remember, children need consistency, so try to address this important issue as soon as possible. You don’t want to have to learn your new partner's child rearing stance the hard way. 

Follow our Parenting Tips board on Pinterest.

2. Ensure Everyone Has Their Own Space

Blending décor is one of the many challenges facing soon-to-be blended families, but it's completely doable. If it's within your budget, consider letting each child have their own room, which can go a long way in helping smooth out living situations and making sure everyone gets along with each other. It can also help to let your children decorate their own space and put their own stamp on it. This can help them feel a sense of belonging. 

When it comes to designing and outfitting a child's bedroom, consider any number of bedroom sets that show off your children's style and personality. Whether you decide to shop online or head to one of their stores, you'll be able to find all that you need to truly make your new house feel like home for everyone. Be sure to include the child in the process. It’s a fun family experience and can help a new parent bond with their step children.

3. Discuss Your Finances

Before you become a blended family, discuss how you'll manage your finances. Will you keep separate bank accounts and split the bills down the middle? Or, will you have a joint bank account to which you'll each contribute? Think about how you'll handle spending, especially if one partner makes more than the other. It’s always a good idea to keep some finances separate, particularly if you both have full-time careers and are used to spending your money your way. It’s always good to create a joint account for mutual household expenses.

Will one partner need to consult the other before making a large purchase? If so, what amount constitutes a large purchase? Will you have to discuss purchases when it comes to your children or will you have the freedom to decide how you spend your money on them? To avoid arguments in the future, these are some things you should think about before you blend your families together. 

4. Prepare Your Children for the Move

If you want things to go smoothly once the big day arrives, making sure your children are prepared for the move is essential. Let them know ahead of time when and what will happen, so they'll be better equipped to handle the changes ahead. Sit down with your children and discuss the move so they can express their feelings about it.

While you're not exactly asking their permission, it's important to let them know that their feelings and concerns are valid and that you'll help them sort through them if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about their new living situation. Talk about the new routine and let them know you won't love them any less with new children coming into the picture. Be sure to remind them they'll still have a space to call their own- and make sure they do, even if it is a little nook in your dining room!

You might also want to prepare your pets for a life change.

Preparing to Blend Families

Blending families is rarely easy, if ever, but taking the above steps into consideration can help make the transition a bit easier for everyone involved. It also helps keep the peace and ensure everyone is on the same page so that you can work together to create a smooth living situation for the entire family.

Recommend:

Kids Room Ideas

Family Relationships

Kids Room Decor Ideas for Girls