6 Reasons You Should You Retrain as A Nurse

 6 Reasons You Should You Retrain as A Nurse

Whether you've homeschooled or attended public school, the field of nursing is a great profession to learn. In the past, not that long ago – once you had a job and were on a career path, you stuck with it. Essentially, jobs were for life, and changing wasn’t something that a lot of people did. If you worked in a store, you stayed a store worker. If you were a laborer, you remained a laborer. However, if you've ever thought about changing careers, now might just be the time to become a nurse!

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience.

Today, things have changed. We’re not even expected to think of our jobs as being for life, and evolving midway through our careers is something that more and more people are willing to do. After all, why be unhappy in your job when you could retrain as something else and start a career that makes you glad to be working and makes you feel as though you are truly contributing to society? 

Technology plays a big part in allowing us to do this. Not only does it mean we can research different careers and apply for new jobs, but if we need to learn how to do something, or we need additional qualifications, we can do that online too, often while we work at something else in the meantime. 

Nursing is one of the careers that people tend to want to go into later in their lives. Whether they have experienced being in a hospital and were impressed with their nursing care, or they liked the way nurses helped a friend or family member, or even if nursing was something that had always wanted to do. Still, their life circumstances meant they couldn’t do it at the time and have to try, later on, nursing is something that is always going to be there for you. 

Get a Guide to Becoming a Certified Nurses Assistant

Nursing is a rewarding career to go into, and if you're thinking of changing your career, this is a great career choice to move to; here are some of the reasons why. 

You Can Be A Nurse 

We need to be honest; although nursing is a fantastic career with many different prospects and areas to progress into, and much job satisfaction, it isn’t something that is going to work for everyone. There is shift work to consider, the job is hard, and you need to be a caring, compassionate person who wants to take care of other people. Not everyone can do this; it’s just not in their nature, and many people might feel uncomfortable and unhappy if they were to become a nurse. 

Learn How to Succeed in Nursing School

However, if you do have the kind of personality and skills that make for a good nurse, and you feel this is what you are meant to do with your life, then there aren’t many barriers to entry. This is a skilled role, but one that offers the chance to everyone who wants to take it to learn exactly what to do and how to do it. You do need to realize that it might take some time to gain the qualifications needed, especially if you're still working full time at your current job, but the fact you can study online means the choice is yours, and the career is open to everyone with the right mindset. 

The personality traits that will make for a good nurse include:

• Patience

• A willingness to learn

• Being able to listen

• Compassion

• Organizational skills

• Dedicated to the job

• Able to cope with shift work 

• Being good with people

• Being physically fit 

So Much Choice 

The term ‘nurse’ is an overarching one that describes the profession as a whole but might not accurately describe exactly what it is you want to do as a career. This is because there are many different types of nurses and so much choice within this seemingly simple career. 

For example, if you love children, you can be a children’s nurse. The same is true if you want to work with senior citizens. There are trauma nurses and OR nurses. There are also different levels of nursing within each sector too. Each type of nurse must have a thick skin, be compassionate, and in a good state of mental health. Nursing can get depressing.

You might ask why become a nurse practitioner or look into other branches of nursing. This is something you can do, even if you're already working as a nurse or if you're changing your career. In either case, you can gain the additional qualifications needed and move across to a different area. In all, there are potentially dozens of different routes you can take when you have your nursing qualifications. 

It’s A Calling 

For some, even the thought of questioning the idea of whether nursing is the right thing to do or not wouldn’t cross their minds; it is simply something they know they have to do, and they'll fight hard to be able to do it. That’s because nursing is sometimes seen as ‘a calling.’ Essentially, this means that those people who feel like this know there is no other career they would be as good at or love as much, and even if it means earning less money or going back to school or rearranging their lives entirely, they'll do whatever it takes to become a nurse. 

However, what shouldn’t be allowed to happen – if we want to be as happy as possible, of course – is to pass up the opportunity to retrain as a nurse later in life when our circumstances change. At this point, your calling can finally be met, and the fact that you can train online and learn as much as possible in your spare time before you qualify is a wonderful idea that means you can now do anything you want, and it will never be too late to try. 

You’ll Have Plenty of Support 

If you're retraining at a later stage in life to become a nurse, you might feel worried or unsure about whether you're making the right choice or not. It can be scary to make such a big change, especially if you haven’t been working, or if your career has been something that doesn’t relate to nursing and caring for people at all. In this case, you might want to start out as a CNA, just to learn the ropes.

There will always be people around to support you. Ideally, some of this support will come from the people you already know, your family, and your friends. Still, if they are, for whatever reason, unsupportive there will be many others outside of your current circle who will look out for you and help you when you need assistance. These will likely be other people training at the same time as you, course leaders, and those who are keen to see you succeed in life. Those you train with and work with as nurses, will become lifelong friends.

With this kind of help and encouragement, you'll feel much more positive about making the changes you have to in life, and retraining to become the nurse; you always wanted to be. 

Every Day Is Different 

One of the things that can start to get people down when it comes to their current jobs is that every day is the same. Even down to the time they wake up in the morning, to the route, they take to work, to the tasks they carry out when they get there. Everything is the same, day in and day out. It's like the movie, Groundhog Day.

This can be comforting, and for some, it is the ideal situation, but this is not the best thing for everyone. For those who don’t enjoy routine work, it can make every day extremely boring, causing them to ultimately be miserable and unfulfilled in their work and their lives. 

If this is the case for you, it will make sense to retrain as a nurse instead. Every day as a nurse is going to be completely different from the next, and you'll never feel bored. The truth is, whether you are working in a hospital, a clinic, a doctor’s office, or you go out into the community to see people in their homes, you just never know what you will get from one patient to the next. It is a stimulating, interesting, fascinating job that allows your body and mind to work. Add to this the immense feeling of job satisfaction that you'll get, and the idea of retraining to become a nurse will seem even better than ever. 

You, Will, Make A Difference

Perhaps the biggest reason that people choose to become nurses either through retraining or from the start of their working lives is how much of a difference you will make to people. If you think back to any time you have ever been in the hospital, it will have been a nurse who gave you the most comfort and help, and a nurse who was able to make a difference to your life and your health, whether you had something seriously wrong with you, or it was a minor ailment. 

It feels amazing to make a difference in someone’s life, in whatever way, big or small. You might also consider a career as an Activities Assistant in a long-term care facility. Some of these positions require you to hold a CNA license, but you get the added enjoyment of entertaining seniors in their last years of life. You can honestly make lives so much better; why wouldn’t you want to retrain as a nurse knowing that? 

Recommended:

Is there a Doctor in the House? Medical Costumes for Halloween

What is Sepsis?

How to Put Yourself First and Feel Good as a Mom

Mom Self Care Ideas

Although you might believe that every second of your day has to be focused on your kids for you to be a good mom, this is not the case. To be the best mom possible for your family, you must learn how to put yourself first and feel good. Read on for self care ideas for moms.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

Indulge and Treat Yourself to Little Luxuries

You might believe that it is only your kids who should be treated when you go on a day out or when the summer vacation hits. However, this is not the case, and you should make sure that you spend some of your hard-earned cash on the person who worked for it: you! One of the best luxuries you may want to consider indulging in is cologne for women. This can help you feel good about yourself and add that extra spark of magic to every day of the year. At scentmagic.com, they offer a cologne subscription that allows you to receive a box filled with lovely scents every single month. Indulge!

Take Time for Yourself

When you have kids, you don't' have to spend every moment of the day with them, and it is just as important to take some time for yourself to protect your mental and physical health. For instance, many moms indulge in a relaxing bath or shower, as this helps them to pamper themselves while taking a little me time away from the kids. You should also make time to do the hobbies that you enjoy and to attend social groups and activities in your local area. If you are unable to find a close relative or friend to take your kids off your hands, there is also no shame in calling a babysitter to care for your kids while you are focusing on yourself. Remember, don't neglect your friends. They need me time too! Spend it together and stay connected.

Build a Support Network

No matter how of a good mom you are, everyone needs support at some time throughout their parenting journey, and the best source that you can get this from is other moms. Consider joining a mom’s group in your local area that will allow you to meet other parents who are in the same boat as you, and who you can rely on for emotional, and even practical, support when times get tough. 

Update Your Wardrobe

You may feel as if you're constantly updating your kid’s wardrobes as they go through constant growth spurts. However, to feel good and to boost your confidence, you should also update your own wardrobe. Mom style is not only loungewear and baggy clothing, you should try to hit the balance between comfort and feeling good with items such as day dresses, tunics, and patterned jumpers- anything that makes you feel good on the inside and the outside!

Chase Your Own Goals and Dreams

As a mom, it's easy to put all of your energy into your kid’s dreams and end up forgetting your own. Instead, you should make sure that you chase your own goals and objectives too! Whether these dreams are heading off to college or training to run a marathon, don't put them off. By doing this, you can maintain your own sense of identity and ensure that you still have something to focus on when your kids eventually leave home to chase their own desires.

Recommended:

Self-Care Quotes

Mom posts from Adventures of Kids Creative Chaos

Products for Self Care

When your Child is Being Cyberbullied

What To Do If Your Child Is Being Cyberbullied

Your child being bullied is every parent's worst nightmare. Naturally, you want to do whatever you can to stop it and protect your child from the bullies. What will you do when your child is being cyberbullied?

This post contains Amazon affiliate links for your convenience.

Cyberbullying is a concern of recent decades. Cyberbullying plays out online, in texts, and on social media, and takes a different form than physical bullying. This makes cyberbullying far more difficult to monitor and manage. It's a lot easier to spot a child being harassed in a classroom than in their Snapchat messages. How can teachers and parents police kids' cyber-lives? How can you even tell if your child is being cyberbullied? 

Here, we break down a few signs that your child may be the victim of cyberbullying, and what you can do about it. There are loads of groups you can turn to for help, whether you are dealing with Cyberbullying in UAE, America, or elsewhere. If your kid is the cyberbully get help here.

Spotting the Signs

There are some common signs that your child is being cyberbullied, including:

1) Nervous, anxious, or jumpy when receiving a text, email, or message on social media, or when using it generally.

2) Very reluctant to tell you about what they do online. 

3) Upset, angry, or stressed after online gaming or another online activity. 

4) Suddenly leaving their console, phone, tablet, or computer after using it, or suddenly closing the device before an activity is completed.

5) Disrupted sleep patterns: Your child struggles to sleep at night and/or has become tired and irritable during the day.

6) Doesn't want to go to school or spend time with friends, and withdraws from family and friends in real life. 

7) Sudden, unexplainable changes in health such as weight gain or loss, change in appetite, headaches, stomachaches.

In particular, be alert for changes in behavior that suggest your child is depressed. Any comments that indicate suicidal feelings are an immediate red flag. 

What You Can Do

Parents often feel powerless when they think or know that their child is being cyberbullied. Bullying is bad enough, but cyberbullying lives in a space that is unfamiliar to many parents and out of their reach to help. Don't worry, there are plenty of options out there for you. 

1) Talk to Your Child

Children often feel embarrassed or ashamed when they are being bullied, cyber or not. Talk to them calmly and just listen to their response. Don't make excuses for the bully or minimize what is happening. Validate your child's feelings and consider how they want this resolved.

2) Take Action

Collect evidence of the cyberbullying - encourage them to take screenshots and save messages, conversations, and emails. If your child's bully goes to their school, the school will be able to deal with the child in question based on the proof you provide. Also take notes of how your child seems at the time of cyberbullying, any background to the bullying, and the views of any witnesses. 

Some cyberbullying can rise to the level of criminality, so you can take it to the police if you believe the bullying is severe. Consider this, particularly if the bullying is based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or disability.

3) Avoid the Bully's Parents

Many parents naturally want to confront the bully's parents, but this is unhelpful. They can become defensive if confronted about their child's actions, which won't help resolve the bullying. Only engage with them if the school or another authority is mediating.

4) Consider Counseling

The effects of bullying can be long-lasting and traumatic. Consider seeking out a counselor for your child as soon as they feel ready. A mental health professional can help them process what they are going through. 

Offer Support

Reassure your child that this bullying will not last forever and the issue will get resolved. Tell them you're there for them no matter what's happening. This will help to bolster their mood while the matter of is worked through. Hopefully, these helpful tips help you feel more comfortable in knowing what to do when your child is being cyberbullied.

Recommended:

Signs your child needs a tutor

Prepare kids for the standardized tests

Child proof a smartphone

Healthy Family Advice

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The last few articles have been on the subject of mental health and the breakup of the family unit. As the family situation changes, so do the matters of family concern. Of course, how you deal with these changes affect the future mental health of your children, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. As mentioned in a previous article, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” My advice is this, self-care is a key element to a happy, healthy family, but be careful, don't over do it.

                                                  This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links.

If you’ve come off a long-term, unhealthy relationship, chances are you’ve been neglecting self-care. Self-care is key to your happiness. Newly separated or divorced individuals might choose to jump out into the dating scene. At first, it's exciting and new. If you've been in a bad situation, going out on dates and having fun can feel like self-care, but you need to be careful that all that good time fun having doesn’t lead to an even more unhealthy rebound relationship. Just like our children, we need to make healthy choices.

Practice being alone. I can’t emphasize this enough. Spend time alone. As much time as it takes for you to get over the pain. And as much time as you need to grow as a person. Learn from your mistakes and take care of yourself.  As I age, I see intelligent women jumping into relationships. Perhaps, they’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Maybe they’ve never held a full-time job. Some never had the chance to go to college. They’ve never managed their own finances. Often, they feel like they just can’t handle the responsibilities of taking care of themselves and their children. So, they go out on a man hunt. The goal is to find a better man than the last one. Some are looking for a man to meet their financial expectations, others are looking for companionship, and some are looking for a father figure for their children. Whatever the reason, they jump into a relationship too soon. Been there done that. 

Healthy Family

I got married while still in college. It was okay. Just okay. I wanted to be happy, but we were young and a lot was missing in the relationship. At that point in my life, the idea of a wedding was more important than the idea of a marriage. We were friends and companions struggling to find common ground, but something was always missing. Both of us had placed our focus on gaining knowledge and prepping for a career and little attention was given to intimacy. As starving college students, there was no money for fun things and then we jumped into buying a house, and then another house, and then it all just got way too overwhelming. There was simply no fun to be had.

Eventually, we talked to friends, family, and clergy. We attended counseling. It all pointed to the same thing, we just didn’t have the same goals or the same outlook on life. We ended the relationship in an amicable fashion. And that’s when my real troubles started. I briefly dated, but playing the field has never been my thing. Dating in your late 20’s is an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Ugh. It’s a brave new world. With my thirtieth birthday looming over my head, I really wanted to settle down and start a family before it was too late. I had some great men to choose from, two were truly amazing with interesting careers. One was neither amazing, nor did he have a great career. He was lucky to hold down a job. But he had what I wanted. A little girl. My family doctor and the counselor both advised against any serious relationship or even dating after the first year of a breakup, but my biological clock was ticking. Tick tock. Having been told I likely could never have children, I jumped at the chance. 

However, that wasn’t the only thing. He was fun. Oh so fun! He loved to dance, hike, bike, play sports, cook, and clean. One day, he called me one of the “cools.” I had been feeling lost. I was never cool. I wanted to do all those things I felt I’d missed out on in high school and college. Except I didn’t. I was still that goody two shoes inside. His risky lifestyle stressed me out. We fought. Among other things, he drank. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. It was like a dark movie from one of those cable tv channels for women. That was my first rebound.

After that, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pick myself up again. I had a lot of counseling. I saw a psychiatrist. I took various medications. Was I suicidal? Not really, but it seemed like life had gotten the best of me. I felt like a failure in every way imaginable. No kids, no career to speak of, and no real chance to recover from all the despair because, in my head, I was old. Oh, so old. I turned to online dating. It was uplifting to have so many men interested in dating me. It was also terrifying. That was the start of rebound number two. Not only did I not wait a year to date, in only a few short months I had moved in with a man and was pregnant. At the time, it seemed like he had everything I wanted. A good job, two kids, pets, a nice home. He was a widower and that (like the alcoholism before him) fulfilled my need for codependency. I had something to do, people to take care of, and dreams to fulfill. Except, we were less compatible than the previous rebound relationship. Shortly after my son was born, I became pregnant again.

Things weren’t ideal, but I always questioned myself. Why not? Maybe I was the problem. I should’ve been content. I was determined to make it work. I mean, after all, he wasn’t abusing me. He yelled a lot. It triggered old feelings from the previous relationship. I cried a lot. It made him mad. I cried more. It was an endless cycle. We barely knew each other. We met online. We were both lonely. As it came to be that he was my only friend for many years, we were really never friends. We both tried. The harder I tried, the more difficult it got. And now, there were kids involved. I didn’t want to break up the family unit. I didn’t want my kids to come from a broken home. Ugh, the damage I did to all of us by trying to stick this one out. We were the absolute opposite of compatible. I will spare you the gory details.

I had so many health issues. I spent months in bed, with nothing more to do than reflect on my past. I knew it had to end. But I was scared. Could I do it alone? Was I strong enough? I started stepping up my game, working harder from home, seeing various specialists and improving my health, and building credit. Once I knew what had to be done, I still wasn’t ready to do it. Things finally worked out in a way that made ending the relationship the most logical decision. It was difficult, but I didn’t need to seek counseling. I threw myself into my work, my writing, and the remodeling of my new house.

After years of thinking about it, deep down, I knew if I were ever to have another relationship again, I’d have to be strong. I’d have to take care of myself first, I’d need a break. I wrote down the pros and cons of dating. Months passed. I thought about what I wanted. What I needed, who I wanted and why. I realized I didn’t need a man to be happy. But I wanted that companionship that had eluded me for most of my life.

Why it's okay to Need a Man

It was always the same set of traits that had always led me to the same conclusion. But, I didn’t want to make the wrong choice with the right choice. So, naively, I  attempted to play the field again, but I didn’t date. I just talked. I talked to several old friends and acquaintances. This time no online dating, no strangers. I weaned them all out. I settled on one for an attempt at dating. We talked for weeks before meeting in person. I knew him from high school. He seemed to fit the criteria. But low and behold, it was a mistake. A big mistake, but one I wanted to cling to because I was sad and lonely. I had basically given up. I was about to turn fifty. There was no more time for mistakes. If I thought dating in my late twenties was hard - whoa. In your fifties, it’s a whole new frontier. Casual dating wasn’t an option for me. 

I took a few weeks to get myself together. I pulled out my list again, and this time, I realized what I always needed had always been there. Sometimes, you just need a friend.

Recommended:

What is Sepsis?

Affordable Counseling Online

Sensory Processing Issues

Emotional Issues from Childhood Follow You To Adulthood

Are Your Personal Intimacy Issues Affecting the Family Unit?

Is your relationship in trouble? Straying from our regular blog topics, we’ve been writing a series on mental health. Turns out something that sounds like a very adult subject matter, has a wider effect on our personal lives. Personal intimacy issues. Say what? 

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

Generally, when we think of personal intimacy issues we think about sex. However, personal intimacy can also mean emotional intimacy. Many people struggle with emotional intimacy and over time, this alone can break a relationship. You don’t have to be sexually active to struggle with emotional intimacy issues. In fact, emotional intimacy issues can contribute to sexual intimacy. 

Depending on your family situation, you could be setting your kids up for emotional disaster. How do you raise healthy, emotionally intelligent children? Obviously, if we had all the answers, everyone on Earth would be emotionally stable, but life happens, right? 

Depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and a variety of other common mental health issues can lead to a lifetime of difficulties in interpersonal relationships. If you can’t get along with family members, you’re likely not going to get along with peers or co-workers and your intimate relationships are going to suffer.

If you notice a family member struggling with interpersonal relationships, what can you do? The first step is to identify the problem. What is causing the mental health issue? It could be a chemical imbalance, childhood trauma, abuse, or even neglect.

If your children suffer, the next step is to get help. Whether you seek out a therapist in your community or find help online, getting an outside perspective is key to improving your situation. If the family dynamic is suffering due to personal intimacy issues between the parents, there are many resources online that can help. 

However, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get both partners on the same page. Sometimes, one partner would rather throw in the towel than ask for help from an outside source. I’ve been told that if you need an outsider to help, it’s far too late. Other people may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their personal intimacy issues. For more information on common intimacy issues visit this link:  https://www.regain.us/advice/intimacy/common-intimacy-issues-and-how-to-deal-with-them/

When parents aren’t emotionally or physically connected, the children often face emotional issues as well, and can suffer from neglect. Parents can get so wrapped up in their personal problems, that they neglect their children without even realizing it. The key to a happy, healthy family is to keep all of the cogs working cohesively. Immediately after the breakup of our family, as they watched me fall apart, my children seemed surprisingly well adjusted. 

However, whether they knew it or not, they were holding it together, trying to be strong for mom. As time passed and I grew stronger and more sure about my own choices, my children began to show the after effects of the reality of a broken family. They withdrew, became emotional, and even aggressive at times. It seemed their entire personalities had changed in a few short weeks. 

Not only were we dealing with the break of our family unit, but the raging hormones of the wonderful land of teendom had conveniently coincided with it.  While there’s no good time for a breakup, note to self, the early teenage years have got to be worse. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it sooner. My relationship with their father wasn’t good for any of us. Our personalities were not compatible and no amount of trying or counseling were going to improve it.

I struggled with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, admitting the relationship wasn’t meant to be was extremely difficult for me. It took my children growing up and becoming reasonable, rational human beings who could recognize that the situation was impossible to repair, to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to move forward with my life. Unfortunately, all of this took a toll on their emotional well-being. 

If you’re facing a difficult situation in your relationship, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek out help. Don’t wait until the issues are out of control and beyond repair. Though humans are resilient, many mental health issues can get worse over time. Be sure you’re doing everything you can to satisfy the needs of your children and protect not only their physical, but also their emotional well- being.

 

Recommended:

Feeling Disrespected by Family?

If Mama Ain't Happy Mental Health Article

Teen Angst

Feeling Disrespected by Family

Do you often feel cast aside and disrespected by family members?

Are you feeling disrespected in your relationships? Most of us feel disrespected at times, even when no one really means to show us disrespect. Parenting is hard, but being the mom is harder. Society puts pressure on moms to always do the right thing, to put on a happy face, and never to let the family see that you’re human too. How do you know when you’re just feeling emotional versus when the disrespect is out of control? Feeling disrespected by family stifles good vibes, what can you do?

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't quote.

 This sponsored post contains Amazon affiliate links. All opinions are my own.

 

Kids will be kids. But when teenagers behave like teenagers, family relationships can get difficult. When do you choose your battle, when do you ignore the emotional roller coaster, and when do you jump on the parenting train to try to fix it? Is it just a phase or are they modeling the behavior of another family member? If your partner is disrespectful, chances are your kids will be too. Not sure if your partner has crossed the line? ReGain has a very eye-opening article that can help you decide.

Get my Debut Novel: Allegedly Mystic

If your kids are suffering from the effects of your relationship, they may act out or become depressed. Children, especially teens, get frustrated by their lack of control over their life situations. Sometimes they feel like the situation is hopeless- no matter how hard you try to work with them. I’ve been down this road more than once. It doesn’t get any easier with practice. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and be prepared to be the bad guy no matter what you say. The old adage, “You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t,” starts to feel like the title of your life.

When I split with my partner of fifteen years, we all suffered with depression and the fear of the unknown. As a parent, watching your children suffer is painful. No matter how much you want to help, your help may not be the answer. Public school counselors can often help zero in on issues like adhd, autism, depression, suicidal tendencies, or other emotional issues. If you’re a homeschooler, finding an affordable counselor isn’t as easy. There are many online resources. This article might help a teen who is fighting to hold back tears when they’re feeling frustrated or angry: Why do I cry when I’m Mad?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this article from GoodTherapy shares a list of teen help hotlines and other free mental health resources. Your pediatrician can also do a depression evaluation survey, and based on the results, refer you to a family counselor. Many family therapists operate on a sliding scale. 

Articles on Autism

After the upheaval in our family, the kids and I moved to our happy place. A little cottage on a quiet lake, where we could swim, kayak, and birdwatch to our heart’s content. The first few weeks we kept our minds busy by remodeling the house, but after a while reality set in, and we decided to try family counseling. No one really enjoyed it, we had to make some sacrifices to find an affordable therapist which ended up being an hour from home. By the time we got off the waiting list, much of the family dynamic had changed and the diagnosis was changed from severe depression to adhd. The counselor had to have a diagnosis for our insurance to continue to pay, but it didn’t really seem to fit our circumstances.

With other members of the family with adhd, we had some prior experience dealing with the ups and downs, and this really wasn’t the same thing. It was nice to have a neutral party listen to our problems, but it wasn’t really worth the trouble. It caused more stress on an already stressed relationship, because the kids didn’t want to go and the family dynamic continued to play out. I know that sounds counterintuitive. I know that I’m the parent and I shouldn’t let the kids overrule me, but believe me, this wasn’t good for any of us. At the time, an online therapy option would’ve been ideal. 

Finally, the best solution for our family came through the advice of our pediatrician, the kids needed their own life. They needed more activities that they enjoyed. Sure, we did homeschool groups, 4-H, and summer camps, but it wasn’t enough. My kids were at a place in their lives where they needed more, even if they didn’t want more. They also needed less. Less time with mom, less time with each other. We all needed some space to help distance ourselves from the previous situation.

The biggest battle we faced was a lack of real relationships. There were no close relationships so that the kids could see healthy family behaviors modeled. We lived over an hour away from any relatives, so extended family time was few and far between. It was definitely time for a major change. After some heartfelt conversations with the pediatrician, relatives, and close friends, we decided our life needed an overhaul. The biggest piece of the puzzle that we all longed for was a sense of belonging. So we packed our bags and moved back to my hometown where we could be closer to family that would provide a support network as we all stepped out into the real world for the first time in years. I took a part-time job as an activity assistant at a retirement home and the kids both enrolled in public school. Talk about change! Change is scary, but sometimes we need a catalyst to set our lives in the right direction. All of these changes have led me to a wonderful opportunity with our local Habitat for Humanity. Look for more updates in coming posts.

 

Recommended:

If Mama Ain't Happy Article from Adventures of Kids Creative Chaos

Signs of Trouble? Article from Adventures of Kids Creative Chaos