Showing posts with label Jake's Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jake's Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jake's Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jake's Jokes. Show all posts

Cooking with Kids: Jake's Indiana Corny Corn Muffin Recipe for Homeschool

Homeschooling Study Natural Resources with Corn Muffin Recipe

Science? Ever had Corn Muffins with pieces of corn inside? In Kentucky and Indiana, it is a pretty common recipe. For Jake's Homeschool Social Studies project, he created a recipe using a few of Indiana's most common natural resources. Corn, of course is a number one crop. The Grandpa tried his hand at making maple syrup this year, so it found it's way into the mixing bowl too. Oh- and eggs are a natural resource anywhere. Enjoy!

This post contains affiliate links.

Science Lesson Natural Resources Corn Muffin Recipe
Kid Science Lesson on Corn with Corny Corn Muffin Recipe.

Kitchen Kids: Indiana Corny Corn Muffin Recipe Indiana Natural Resources
Jake's Indiana Corny Corn Muffins Recipe.

Free Printable Lesson about Corn (Download and print it.)
Free Printable Lesson about Corn (Download and print it.)

Ingredients for Jake's Corny Corn Muffins Recipe
It's easy with Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix and Frozen Corn.

How to Make Indiana Corn Muffins Recipe

You will need:

1 Pkg. Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix 
1 Egg 
1/3 C. Milk 
1/4 C. Grandpa’s Homemade Maple Syrup
1 C. Corn 
Muffin pan and Paper

How to make Corn Muffins, Indiana Style:

Preheat oven to 400 F degrees.
Mix the ingredients together.
Batter will be lumpy
Spoon into muffin cups, fill ¾  full.
Bake 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.
Cool for 5-10 minutes.

Recommended Reading:


Earth's Resources 

Corn by Gail Gibbons

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Jakes Jokes for Kids - 12 Silly Kid Jokes and Riddles

Jake's jokes for kids and funny things kids say are updated and listed all in one place in our Jake's Jokes/Ask Amanda tab above. Here's our latest list of silly jokes and riddles for kids.

  1. What has many limbs but can't move. ( A tree.)
  2. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost? (Don't spook until spooken too.)
  3. Why did the gingerbread man go to the hospital? (He was feeling crumby.)
  4. Why did the farmer plant gold in his farm? (To make the soil richer.)
  5. Knock knock. Who's there. Owls. Owls who? (Yes they do!)
  6. What has three feet but can't run? (A yard stick!)
  7. What is the tallest building in the city? (A library because it has the most stories.)
  8. What blows up but doesn't explode? (Possible answers: a balloon, a blowfish.)
  9. What do you call Dracula? (A pain in the neck.)
  10. What dinosaur raps? (A VelociRAPtor.)
  11. What did Susan B. Anthony coin say to the quarter? (Together we make a lot sense/cents.)
  12. What dog can jump higher than a building? (Any dog, buildings can't jump!)

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Jake's Journey Homeschool Science Project: How to Build a Cave Model Diorama from a Cardboard Shoebox

How to Build a Cave Model Diorama from a Cardboard Shoebox and Construction Paper

Here's a Homeschool Science Project on Stalactites and Stalagmites. Make your own cave for a science fair diorama project. Make sure everything is labeled clearly. This was made for a third grade science project for a gifted class, but it is suitable for grades 3-8. Enjoy!

How to Make a Homeschool Science Diorama Model for a Cave Project
Learning about spelunking and cave exploration by building a cave diorama project.
Great model, eh? How is this not art? Jake had a fabulous time designing and crafting this model of a cave for his Homeschool Science portfolio. He enjoyed researching each term, but refused to write them out in a report form. He labeled each item and taped down a descriptive tag, but did not do a report. He despises the art form of handwriting (we are working on this too).

The cave words were particularly intriguing with speleothems (cave formations) and speleologists (scientist who explore caves) ranking at the top of his interest list. All of the spelunking terms are fun to say!

To make a shoebox model diorama like this one you will need:

  • shoe box or cereal box with the face cut off
  • construction paper
  • scissors
  • tape and glue
  • action figures
First, cover the inside of your cardboard box with an appropriate color of paper. Then, cut out cave formations (stalactites and stalagmites) leaving a little extra on the base. Fold this extra down like a flap, and glue or tape it to the top or bottom of your diorama. This makes it stay erect and sturdy.

Research the definition of various cave terms. Type these into a word program leaving several spaces between definitions, so they can be cut out for labels. Attach with tape or glue. This information should also be written into a companion report for your project to work toward an 'A' grade.

In Jake's model you can see the Cave Bacon which is a stalactite hanging from the "ceiling" of the cave. It looks like bacon with the side stripes of color. Cave Eggs cover the floor or ground as Stalagmites. These are round formations with circular rings of pattern. Cave Cauliflower and Soda Straws are pictured above, but you need something to research on your own, so get busy!

How can you remember which is which? Easy! Use this simple memory trick.

stalaCtite - look for the "C" for ceiling of the cave.

stalaGmite - look for the "G" for ground of the cave.

Recommended Reading:

Complete Caving Manual: Spelunking*

Don't Behave Like You Live in a Cave *

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to,,,,, or We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

Art: How to Build a Gingerbread House from Cardboard Holiday Recipe Homeschool Art Lesson

How to make a cardboard gingerbread house and frosting paste

This Homeschool ART journey included a trip to the library where we learned how to make a cardboard gingerbread house that looks like the real thing with ginger/cinnamon paste recipe, and how to make royal icing gingerbread house paste. Enjoy!

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience.*

How to Build a Gingerbread House from Cardboard

Jake's Art - Homeschool Weaving Lesson - Make your own Loom - DIY Arts and Crafts

How to make a loom for weaving scrap fiber: A Homeschool Art Lesson

Jake's Journey in Art goes under the sea in this DIY weaving Homeschool Art Lesson we learned to Renew. Enjoy!

How to weave for elementary make your own loom
Our loom has both warp and weft framework to better illustrate 
the concept to young children.

To weave a textile, threads (or scrap fabric) are woven on a frame called a loom. The first vertical threads on the loom are called warp threads. Threads that are woven horizontally in and out of the warp threads are called weft threads.

Cut notches in the cardboard frame to keep yarn in place.

Recycle a piece of cardboard from a cereal box or a foam tray to make your loom. You might also like Native American Paper Bag Dress

Cut small notches into the top and bottom of your cardboard(ours are about 1/2", but 1" works well). Make them about 1/2" inch apart. Alex Toys has a great PDF on weaving here.

Spongebob Fabric for Toddler bed tent.

Warp your loom with yarn or string by taking the thread and taping one end to the back middle of your board.  Now, starting with your first notch on the left, begin wrapping through each top and bottom notch without skipping a notch until you get to the right side of the board.  Only the warp frame is required.

Now your are ready to weave your weft. Cut or tear scraps of fabric into strips. Your strips of fabric should be about 1" thick and at least 12"  long. You will need about 20 strips. 

The cat enjoyed the tearing of fabric strips so much 
he needed a nap after playing with them.

For extra ease for smaller children, we added a weft frame as well. Now the scraps of fabric can be pulled through the little squares for guidance. Pull your scrap fabric under the first warp, over the next, and so on. The yarn guide will help younger children see any mistakes made.

When you have completed your weaving tie off all scraps in groups of two at the edges of your cardboard loom, then you can cut your your thread/yarn framework.

How to make a loom - Elementary Weaving Lesson Scrap Fibers Make your own
Spongebob has his eye on you.

This is an easy way to get littles started in weaving. It is also helpful to cut a piece of cardboard about 1" by 3" with a notch in the end. Attach your scrap fabric by inserting it in the notch and use as a tool to weave the fabric through the loom, this is called a shuttle.

Alex Toys Native American Bead Loom Kit for weaving bracelets.

Once you advance your skills, you can weave many beautiful projects. Alex Toys has a Native American Loom for weaving bracelets.  It is a professional quality loom that makes incredibly authentic bracelets.  We are working on our patterns and will share them soon.

Kid's room cartoon character theme (that way we don't have to worry about matching or new fads).Check out the automobile sun visor we used as a headboard. 
It is simply nailed to the wall.

Jake loved the idea of using his toddler tent cover as scrap fabric for this project. We renewed an item that was dear to his heart. It had been ripped from rowdy play and was no good as a tent, but we saved it anyway in hopes to repair it or transform it into a pillow or some other creative endeavor. The SpongeBob fabric was the perfect accent for his room. 

Yep, we need a hanging stick, but the kids love it.  
Use favorite t-shirts, pillow cases, or doll clothes for your scrap fiber.

To display your beautiful work of art weave a "weft" stick horizontally through the top row and hang on a wall.  Jake loved his creation and couldn't wait for the stick. He wanted to see how it looked right away, so we hung it by a nail. A little droopy, yes, but he loves it.

Did he love the process?  Not so much.  Much patience is a necessary requirement of weaving. So, Mommy made the loom, got it started and Jake weaved the inner pieces to gain an understanding of the process.  Mommy tied and cut it off making sure Jake watched and understood. This is somewhat time consuming, but the end results are worth it.

Mayhem saw the weaving on his wall and wanted it for her room. Score! This project journey ended on a very happy note.   

Recommended Reading:

Learning How to Weave*

Party Time: SpongeBob SquarePants*

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to,,,,, or We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

How to Make Clay: Air Dry Clay, Homemade Clay Recipes for Home School Art Project

How to make clay is simple: Here are some recipes.

We've been crafting with Air-Dry clay. We purchased a clay kit and then we also made our own clay at home. It can be used with a Potter's wheel or shaped into free forms for home school art projects. Enjoy!

How to Make Clay: Air Dry Clay and Homemade Clay Recipe Home School Art Project
Air dry clay pig and diy homemade clay recipes.

Attach pieces by adding a little water to each piece. This is Jake's Pig (From Jake's Journey in Art). He enjoyed playing with the clay just enough to complete the assignment. sells boxes of air dry clay refills perfect 
for your animal  sculptures.

Clay is wonderful for Sensory play. In the homemade recipe below, just add some scented oils like vanilla or cinnamon.  TOUCH, SMELL, TASTE (I don't recommend it), SEE- hmm... When it dries you can gently tap it onto the table for SOUND encompassing all senses or get CREATIVE and make a rattle/maraca or a base for a drum just stretch tissue paper over the top and attach with a large rubber band.

Mayhem made many animals and embellished each one.

 Get your Air Dry Clay Refill Pack  by Alex Toys.

The baubles in the photos above came with the air dry clay refill for the pottery wheel from Alex Toys.

How to make Homemade Clay Recipe:

Click here for how to make clay without cream of tar tar

Easy/recommended for preschool and early elementary

1 cup flour
1 cup water
2 tsp cream of tartar
 ¼ cup salt
1 tbsp vegetable oil
food coloring (optional)

Combine all ingredients in a medium-sized pot. Decide on a color  for the clay. Cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly. The dough will eventually become difficult to stir, and it will stick to the spoon. At this point, dump the dough onto wax paper. Allow it to cool for at least 15 minutes, and then knead it until it is smooth. Store the dough in a plastic container or a plastic bag when not in use. Refrigerate the clay when not in use.

Homemade Clay can be painted and it will last for years to come. Make cute Holiday Gifts: Think napkin rings, 3D wall hangings, necklace medallions, trivets, and pretty catch-all bowls.

Looking for Toddler or Preschooler Activities? 

Try this:  Sensory Dough playtime Activities.

Recommended Reading:

Craft a Minecraft Marshmallow Pig

Happy Pig Day! *

If You Give a Pig a Pancake*

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to,,,,, or We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

How to Make a Basic Color Wheel and Primary Art Lesson Homeschool


How to Make a Color Wheel Homeschool Art Lesson.

If you're following Jake's Journey in Art this homeschool art lesson isn't from 3rd grade art. We've been combining lessons and working on everything together to make it more like a classroom and easier for the teacher (me). This is the 1st grade Primary Color Lessons for homeschoolers, but we added a science component and more to make it more interesting for the older elementary kids too. Enjoy!

This post contains Amazon and other affiliate links for your convenience.

Sesame Street teaches Primary Colors.

Henri Matisse loves primary colors.

cute primary color wheel for preschooler or early elementary
Mayhem's second attempt (First Grade).
Preschool Color Wheel Ideas
Mayhem's first attempt: a color wheel cat.
He has all the colors just not in the right position.
He got the letters but not the wheel.  The smudges are  two
primary marker colors blended to create the secondary  colors.

So, what is a technically correct color wheel?

Colorwheel Art Lesson

The colors of the RAINBOW or those that appear in a prism. Here is a fun scientific lesson in PDF form from Stargazers and NASA.

We studied the use of primary colors by the Masters like the Matisse pictured above, and then we chose a farm animal to trace with pencil and paint with only the primary and secondary colors.

Jake's bunny with primary and secondary color complements.

Jake was a champ when it came to the technical aspect of art. He reminded me of the cheat to remember the primary and secondary colors. Red, Yellow, Blue, Orange, Green, Indigo, and Violet better known as ROY G. BIV.  He also knew prisms reflect the light from the sun and radiate these colors. Although, he knew about the color wheel he didn't have a good grasp of the concept of contrasting or complementary colors.

We're going to explore this concept. Math and Science are everywhere in ART. So, my little genius, art critic is going to learn about the golden rule sooner than later. Funny how people tend to be one or the other, left or right brained. I'm taking on the challenge to prove it doesn't have to be either or.

Paint a Primary and Complementary Color Bunny Elementary Art
Mayhem's bunny. They both traced the bunny from an original drawn by me. Yep, she's 6, loves art and hates math.

Click the thumbnails below to catch up on our 
Homeschool Art Journey
 or start here with LESSON ONE.
From Wikipedia:
Complementary colors are pairs of colors that are of “opposite” hue in some color model. The exact hue “complementary” to a given hue depends on the model in question, and perceptually uniformadditive, and subtractive color models, for example, have differing complements for any given color.

The complement of each primary color (red, blue, or yellow) is roughly the color made by mixing the other two in a subtractive system:
  • red complements (blue + yellow) = green
  • blue complements (red + yellow) = orange
  • yellow complements (red + blue) = violet

Recommended Reading:

Jake's Journey in Art - Homeschool Lesson - 4 Watercolor Seascape (Wet on Wet)

Jake's Journey in Art: Watercolor Wet on Wet techniques for Homeschoolers

Kids Creative Chaos building Self-Esteem one art lesson at a time.

Lesson:  Choose one of the seascapes and one watercolor technique you've learned.

It was time for our next art lesson. Jake moaned and complained as usual, until I reminded him this week's lessons involved painting. "Yay! I like to paint. I never got to paint in art class."  Say what you say?  Catch up here. Art is about the journey, not the end result.

Homeschool Art Project How to paint wet on wet watercolor technique
Jake's seascape is on the left, Mayhem is on the right. She's added some embellishments.
Did you notice his attention to detail?  This is not a child who should despise art. Thankfully, we are making amazing progress.

Now, what Jake really meant to say was- I love it when I'm allowed to make a mess. He chose the sailboat scene and the wet on wet technique. Which is exactly as it sounds, paint water over your entire paper, dip your brush in water and the color, and let it bleed blend. Don't move it until it is dry.

We also did the salt painting technique and sprinkled salt on the wet sand area. When it dries it looks like real sand.

We first traced over the image to get a feel for it and then we lightly drew it in pencil on our watercolor paper. When painting with watercolors it is important to use the right paper. Copy paper will deteriorate with too much water. The fibers in the watercolor paper are designed to soak up the excess. Still, we laid out three layers of newspaper and had a roll of paper towels ready and waiting. Inevitably, someone always spills the water.

Our art table, okay, it is our dining room table. We never use it for that!

I am pleased to announce this assignment was our turn around lesson. In fact, his feelings about art have changed so much in a recent lesson on mask making he said, "Mommy, it is really awesome that I have a teacher who knows so much about art. You can teach me so many cool things!" (Insert tears here.)

I am quite skilled in the art of mask making. My highschool, art teacher, Mrs. Conway did a lesson on mask's with handmade paper. I made 3 or 4 different projects, entered them into an art contest and won some sort of an award. 

Oh my, I wish I could tell you what it was but a lot of time has passed since then.  After, I took a tiny scholarship to college and studied theatre design, art, and architecture. I've used the skills I learned in those classes to make many a mask for many a child in an after-school program, made some great mardi-gras costumes, and designed many theatrical props and sets. We'll post mask making 101 next week.

Hooray! Someone finally took notice.  My college journey was not a waste after all :-)

Okay, the real point is that Jake took notice. Chuckle-chuckle and all it took was some fancy paper curling around a pencil and a cool, paper snake. Mom's have mad skills, don't they. I'm gearing up to ask Jake to draw a new picture of how he feels about Mommy's art class-eh. Maybe I'll just take a photo of his expression.

Things are looking up!

Jake's Jokes for Kids: Chicken and Slide Clip Art Images

Need a Good Chicken Joke? Wonder why the chicken crossed the road?

A couple of silly jokes for kids from Jake. Why did the Chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! Enjoy these funny chicken jokes for kids. Enjoy!

This post contains affiliate links.

Chicken Memes Quotes Quote Chickens Meme Joke
Chicken Memes Quotes Quote Chickens Meme Joke.

Jake's Jokes: Chicken Jokes Memes Quote and Picture Clipart
Chicken Joke: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide joke with picture
To get to the other slide...

  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possums how it is done.

  • Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the bottom of the chicken's foot.

  • Why did the egg hide?
Because she was a little chicken.

  • Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.

Around our house, the duck crosses the road to follow the chicken's to the other side. The chickens cross the road to eat the neighbors bird seed and drink from his bird bath. Don't worry, it isn't a real road!

Stuffed Turkey Recipe with Clipart: Jakes Jokes for Kids

Jake came up with a fun stuffed turkey recipe

Cute Pilgrim Turkey clipart
Cute Pilgrim Turkey.
He begged me to purchase the ingredients; I obliged.

Stuffed Turkey Recipe

1 Ginormous Turkey
1 Little Baby Turkey
1 Box Mashed Potatoes

Cook the giant turkey.  Cook the mashed potatoes and stuff inside giant turkey. Cook tiny turkey.  Stuff tiny turkey inside huge turkey.  Serve to guests.

Ahem...  I bought two Cornish game hens.  I can't wait to see his reaction. Unfortunately, I won't be stuffing anything except my face.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jake's Jokes: A Comedian in making. Funny things kids say.

Jake's Jokes for Kids: Funny things kids say. 

Jake tells stories like a comedian shares jokes. Check the tab above for lists of knock knock jokes and riddles.

Jake's Jokes for Kids ~ funny kids sayings

Girl:  "Jake, Do you know Jocelyn?"

Jake:  "Yes, we've been bestfriends since pre-school."

Girl:  "Oh, wow.  She's my friend too, now."

Jake:  "Oh, wait, I forgot.  We're not friends anymore."

Girl:  "Why not?"

Jake:  "She treats me like trash, so I treat her like dirt."

Mommy:  Speechless as usual.

Bigfoot is a Ho' - Jake's Jokes for Kids

Jake's jokes and funny things kids say.

Jake's jokes for kids and the funny things kids say.
Jake the jokester.

Jake's Jokes: The Joke might have been on Jake, but it cracked us all up. Last night, I listened to Jake read for the first time since the teacher told me he reads and comprehends at 12th grade level. It is amazing- he rarely slows to sound anything out- even the words that give me pause. My tears fell on the pages of his book while he read aloud.  And then tonight...
Amanda:  Is Bigfoot real?

Jake:  (As it sounded to my ears) No!  He's just a great, big Ho' Axe.

Mommy:  (Worriedly) What's a Ho' Axe?

Sam:  Hoax!

Daddy:  Ho' Axe...  And SAM figured it out first!

Mommy:  Hoax!  He's a hoax?  It depends who you ask.  
Jake, great sounding out of the word, but we pronounce it Hokes.

Jake:  Ohhh...  It looks like Ho' Axe. (laughs)

I really like thinking about Bigfoot being a great, big Ho'...       Axe.

See more Jokes for Kids in our tabs above.

P.S.  Last night I warned him that if you don't ask for help you may misread a word your entire life. For me it was laughter. Lawter. I can't see it without reading Lawter.  Thank Goodness we caught this one before it was too late.

Introducing My Kid's Columns

Character Descriptions of the KCC Kids

Kids are full of irony, among other things, and they always seem to have something important to say.  So, I'll be starting a new column series based on the crazy things my kids say.

Meet my real family:

Samantha,  a teenager, dubbed "The Queen of Duh".  A title happily handed down by me. She's sometimes witty, more often socially inept, and always judgemental. "I'd never do that!" She wouldn't, but she's done worse. Join us weekly for "Samantha Says". Gain valuable insight into the teen mind.

Jake, a six-year old going on forty. He's bookish, gamish, and socially amiss. Jake views the world through a refracted lens. He's always ready to explain why your wrong and he's usually right.  Even so, he says the darndest things. Look for "Jake's Jokes", they'll have you laughing out loud.

Amanda, Oh my. My Arch Nemesis. A four-year old with a big personality.  She's spunky, independent, and obstinate. She tells it like she sees it. Be careful, Amanda's advice is not for anyone with fragile psyche. Got a question?  "Ask Amanda".

Recommended Reading:

Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind*

My Quotable Kid: A Parents' Journal of Unforgettable Quotes*

ADS DISCLOSURE: We've partnered with some wonderful advertisers who may sponsor blog posts or send us samples to test. Some companies pay us to review their products.

*We also use affiliate links, if you make a purchase we get a tiny commission. Kids Creative Chaos participates in the Amazon LLC Associates Program*, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a mean for blogs to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon properties, including, but not limited to,,,,, or We also offer Tapinfluence, Google Adsense, SoFab, and Izea ads here. Thanks so much for helping us keep the lights on! :)

Jake's Jokes for Kid: Waiter Joke? Ba Dump Dump

In this addition of Jake's Jokes, Jake is confused by the waiter and says the funniest thing

Jokes, jokes, jokes! Kids are full of funny things to say. Make sure you write them down. In this issue of Jake's Jokes: The perfect waiter joke. Ba Dump Dump. Click the tab above for more Jokes for Kids!

Jake's Jokes for Kids: Excuse me Waiter?
Jake's Jokes for Kids: Excuse me Waiter?

A family walked into a restaurant...

Waiter:  I'll be your server tonight.  Jimmy over there is helping out.

The Daddy was being difficult.  He didn't want to order until after he ate his appetizers.  Appetizers might be enough he just didn't know.  The waiter came back several times before and after the appetizers were served.  Everyone else ordered food.   Daddy waited.  The waiter didn't understand.

Waiter:  Are you ready to get some real food now?

Jakes Jokes for Kids Waiter Funny things kids say Ba dump dump
Jake's jokes for kids. Waiter...

Daddy:  Nope.  I told you I'd let you know when or if I'm ready.

Waiter:  Can I take your menus.

Daddy:  Nope.

Mommy:  Are you sure you don't want to trade places with Jimmy now?

Waiter:  What? No way, I can take it.  Jimmy's a lightweight compared to me.

Jake looked at the stocky man behind the bar and then back at our waiter.

Jake:  Really?  How much do you weigh? (Insert Ba Dump Dump here)

Recommended Reading:

Circle Time Activities for Children

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids

Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids